Some Stuff About My Son

I should know by now, especially with my horrific memory AND even more horrific writers block, that when I get an idea for a post, I should IMMEDIATELY write it down. Because inevitably, poof, it’s lost. Probably forever.

I’m pretty darn sure that I had two things to write about. This was going to be one of my ridiculously random posts. But since I can only recall act one, well then…I guess you lucked out. But maybe, as I type the part I remember, I’ll have a mini aha moment. What? It could happen.

So, let’s talk about my almost 14 year old son for a moment, shall we? Yes, we shall. God, I love this kid. I really do. Sometimes, if I think about it, I could cry because a tsunami of emotion comes over me. Good thing that only happens once a month and I’m pretty good about controlling it.

He was just tested in the school. I insisted on it. Because I needed to know if there was something we were missing and maybe perhaps he has a learning disability or an emotional impairment that was holding him back from being all that he could be. I’m thinking that straight F’s, well, that’s just not reasonable for a kid that seems pretty intelligent. Oh and, by the way, I don’t know how it is in your school districts but if you make a request for your child to be tested by the school system, they have 30 days to comply. I’m so glad I found this out!!

The school did a battery of tests. Emotional by the school psychologist and another bunch by the social worker, and a couple of different academic testings. Turns out, he is completely where he should be and in some instances, way higher.

He isn’t eligible for their IEP services.

I’m glad. I guess.

The psych tests didn’t reveal anything either, except perhaps he has a bit of attention problems. Which, seriously, he comes by quite honestly. I do. His dad does. And it has a strong genetic component, that A.D.D stuff.

The things that were most interesting were what he told the social worker. His reasons for his progressive and spiral school downfall.

He is rebelling against my husband, as well as his bio dad. He isn’t going to let them control him and the only way he can counteract their schtick is to flunk out of school. Because he is the only one who can control that. He mentioned that he isn’t going to let them be puppeteers because he has disabled the strings.

He wishes we would punish him and then stand by our punishments. People, I’m here to tell you…we don’t follow through. We threaten and promise to take things away forever. We take the electronic, hide it and then…give it back within 24 hours. We suck. Although, my darling husband likes to blame it on me. *whispers* his bark is worse than his actual bite. It’s him too, if not worse. Just sayin’.

My son is terrified that he is going to turn out like his bio dad…potentially paranoid schizophrenic (potentially because no diagnosis has been made by a professional because he refuses to go but he exhibits MASSIVE signs of this horrible mental illness). That makes me so sad for my kids. By choosing this man and having two children with him, I gave them this legacy of potential insanity. The guilt I have is overwhelming. Not to mention the fact that their bio dad is SO inactive in their lives, to the point where he knows not a thing that goes on. I can’t imagine that…not knowing or caring…about 2 children that I helped to create. I can’t imagine the hurt that my children must feel because their father has rejected them time and time again. God, I hate him.

On a lighter note though, the staff who evaluated my son feels that he may have had some sort of epiphany in regards to who he is really hurting from this rebelling. And it looks like he is starting to pull his grades up a bit. While two F’s and two D’s sound like what a failure would pull, I’m going by the fact that he is working at school now. And, he seems happier and a bit more adjusted around the house.

I’m hopeful that he will stay like this. Next year is high school. The really real deal. You flunk a class, you flunk and have to take it over again. And that…is embarrassing. He doesn’t like to be embarrassed.

I’m praying that, although the testing proved to be futile, maybe it shook him up enough to realize that rebelling usually only hurts the person who is doing the action, not the one/ones unknowingly causing.

So, I keep my fingers crossed and thoughts positive.

And punishments ready to be enforced. Just in case.

OK, I don’t remember the 2nd thing. But it’s probably just as well because this is a long ass post.

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