Oh Business Law, How You Fuck With Me On So Many Levels

I’m not doing very well in my Business Law class. In fact, not doing well is a complete understatement. In all actuality, I’m flunking the fucker. Yeah, I am.

Honestly, it’s not for a lack of understanding it, because I do. Although clearly, with the grades I’m getting on my tests, it reflects the complete opposite of what I’m telling you. But I do TOTALLY understand Business Law. Well, most of it anyways.

My teacher passed out a course syllabus at the beginning of the year. First day of school protocol. He follows his little class timeline like the little OCD fellow he is. But during the winter, even if you lay out the best plans…Mother Nature sometimes laughs in your face and throws you an obstacle course with snowstorms as hurdles. She’s a cunt that way.

In other words, we missed a week of school due to horrendous amounts of white shit and slippery roads.

So my OCD prof, or maybe he has some kind of control issue but anywhoo…

He switched the homework assignment order on us.

By myself, I thought I figured out what chapters to read. By reasonable deduction, I came to my conclusion. And so, I read. Two really easy chapters on, well, hellifiknow and fuckificare. Two very important aspects of Business Law 1.

I was very confident in the fact that I did read the correct chapters. Until I spoke with my friend Cindy. A chick I met in class and we became instant acquaintances.

I texted her in a moment of doubting myself, just to make sure that I was right in my assumption that I was right.

She told texted back that I read the wrong chapters. The correct reading assignments was a huge, hefty one and I only had 3 or so hours before my class.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck. I mean dang, I’m already flunking the stinking class. I MUST do well on the next couple tests. Flunking isn’t acceptable. Not for a distinguished and worldly (almost) 41 29 year old.

She invited me to meet her at Caribou Coffee in Royal Oak, right down the street from our school.

So, I went and met her.

And we sat at the table, giggling and reading what we figured were the absolute correct chapters. 16, 17 and 18. Which talked about blahblahblah, crapcrapcrap and yawnyawnfart. Very interesting stuff. Assuredly.

But then, Cindy decided to check the schedule, just to double check. You know, just in case.

Turns out. After all that panic and anxiety. I was right. Ha. The chapters about hellifiknow and fuckificare were the agenda for tonight’s class after all. Which, I was relieved about because it was some easy stuff and I totally understood it.

Just like I understood all the other chapter tests that I flunked. Sigh.

Actually, his changing the schedule, it confused the piss out of many of his minion…er…students. Quite a few read the wrong chapters. Because, you see, the dude likes to talk, repeat himself and go around in word circles where most of us miss the point he is trying to make, if there is even a point. He is enamored with the noise his vocal chords make. So some of us weren’t able to figure out what order he wanted us to read our book in.

Even my husbands ex wife, who takes the same class with the same professor on the same day…except, the a.m section. She read the wrong chapters. So she came to the evening class, my section, so that she could read the right chapters during the day and then take the test with my class.

You know what sucks? And this is completely on a side note. She’s doing better in the class than I am. But in my defense, I’m not medicating my A.D.D and she is on meds. So I figure that is why.

Well, after all that…I am pretty sure that I bombed that test like a kamikaze jet pilot. Which means…I’m going to have to take this class again. So that I can take…oh joy…Business Law 2. Because, I need those two classes…with B’s in them…in order to get into the Paralegal program.

Yeah, I know. I’m screwed. Perhaps this isn’t my calling.

On a better note…I’m doing pretty well in my Creative Writing class. Yay me!!

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