Once upon a time, it used to be easy. Life, I mean. Back in the day of huge mall hair and huger shoulder pads.
I could smoke and the only thing I would worry about was getting caught by my parents or someone who knew them, in mid exhale(until they finally realized and gave in, allowing me to smoke outside). Cancer and wrinkles weren’t a concern. I was young, immortal.
Bills were paid. And not by me. Food was cooked, although kind of poorly(sorry Mom). Laundry. Vacations. Housework. All taken care of.
I was along for life’s ride with stops at school, ballet and parties. Ahh, the carefree days of misspent youth.
It was a breeze.
The only priorities I had was being young and keeping my mischief out of my parents field of vision. Which took a lot of Twister-like maneuvers. My parents had eyes everywhere.
I couldn’t wait to grow up and get the heck out of my parents house.
Because truly, despite the ease that life was back then, it went unnoticed and taken for granted. I was suffocating in their overprotectiveness. Rules, restrictions, curfews! I was under their thumb and they had a lot of those pesky digits, or so it seemed.
As a silly young kid, the adult life just seemed so much easier. They didn’t have all these rules with parents breathing down their necks and sniffing their breath to see if they had been drinking or smoking when they came home AT CURFEW. Heck, they didn’t have a curfew. They could do whatever they wanted.
Oh, the naivety of youth.
Because bam. I grew up. Now, I’m the parent. The adult. No more huge hair or shoulder pads. And life? It’s tough. Especially these days. Worries over everything…kids, bills, health, losing a parent.
Life isn’t going the way I had once fantasized it would. I’m not leaping through clouds and sliding down rainbows. Heck, I seem to have a storm cloud the follows me around crashing thunder and torrential rains.
It’s not what I imagined.
I thought it was going to be fun, this adult gig.
Really? Notsomuch.
It’s stressful. It’s disappointing. It’s heartbreaking. It’s tumultuous.
There really haven’t been an exceptionally fun adventures. Vacations strained by complaining kids and high costs.
Meals ruined by Culinary Refuseniks.
Evenings of indulging in a few drinks met with next morning regret because sleeping a hangover off isn’t an option when there are demanding offspring.
Don’t get me wrong. There are some breathtaking, glorious times where I am so happy that I could cry rainbow tears. I look at my children and my heart bursts from my chest and wraps itself around them.
I’m just waiting though.
Waiting for that part of my fantasy where life becomes as fun as I should have realized my youth was.
Isn’t that the truth. All of it. If things aren’t difficult, then we must be doing something wrong. =D I hope you aren’t feeling down. I know it sucks to have responsibility and finances to worry about, but we just have to keep believing that it’ll get better.
If all else fails, remarry for money.
😉
.-= sara @TomTheGirl´s last blog ..Thank you for being a friend (Golden Girls) =-.
The worst part now about being all grown up is having to worry about everyone else first. And that’s not easy cause I love me…. a lot. So the kids know mom doesn’t share chocolate. They can get their own, because sometimes, mommy just wants to be 6 again and not have to share. Oh, and the theory I had about being able to walk around my house naked while the kids were in school? Sounded good to me when I was 25 and still had muscle tone. Now that they’re in school, I don’t even want to think about it, much less walk around with it. Le Sigh. So excuse me while I Farmville a little, or watch Youtube while making dinner. Sometimes I need to get away from those little people who keep trying to convince me I belong to them. And who is this Mom person they keep talking about anyway? Regards- Princess Ugabooga
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This is so true. Sometimes I look around and wonder, “When the heck did I become the grown up”. I also miss not having to pay for food and toiletries. That crap is expensive
.-= Another Suburban Mom´s last blog ..Random Dozen =-.
I SO feel ya. I’ve been feeling that exact same way lately. I think a lot of us mommies have. I just read an interesting article about reinventing yourself. Sure, those people kind of had a lot of money or resources to begin with, but it inspired me to think about what I can do to reinvent my own life a bit, to make it more fun and fulfilling. I’m still working on it. Wanna brainstorm some ideas together?
.-= Mary@Everyday Baby Steps´s last blog ..My Mamavation – Week 2 =-.
I hear ya… where is all that fun we were supposed to be having? The way 2009 kicked my butt, and yours, I can only hope 2010 will get better. Don’t think I can take worse.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..The depths of her sorrow… =-.
You’ve only written the truth. Adulthood, parenthood, they both have contributed to my nicely hidden gray head of hair. I have to have hope, though, and think, “This year will be better.”
.-= SurprisedMom´s last blog ..Things that made me laugh =-.
I tell my 15 and 20 year olds all the time that being an adult sucks. The 20 year old is starting to believe me, but the 15 year old still lives in that fantasy life. I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be. She’ll find out soon enough.
Oh yes. I know this feeling all too well. There have been many times when I look at my students with a raised eyebrow and tell them to suck it up and enjoy what they do have, because growing up? Kinda sucks.
(((hugs)))
.-= TeacherMommy´s last blog ..Release =-.
Okay, so this is where I am different. So, as an adult, I’m faced with all the same stuff–bills, marriage issues, kid responsibilities, household management, health issues, you name it.
But I so prefer to be the adult…because I did not have that idyllic or at least normal childhood that most people have. I couldn’t wait to move out…to get away from my parents.
Now, even when things are tough, I am so happy that I am in control of most of my life. Okay, so not the life and death and illness part of life, but knowing that I have the power and the opportunity to move or get a new job or divorce or anything, instead of being under the strict and unreasonable control of my parents, is liberating.
I’ll take this cr*p any day.
Hope things start looking up for you very, very soon! {HUGS}
.-= Michele´s last blog ..Prepping for a Blog Conference, Professional Family Manager Style =-.
You will rediscover it again, I promise!
I have found it in my retirement AND when we got blessed with grandchildren.
i am gloriously happy and in love with my husband of 38 years….happier than I have been in all my life.
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..Here they ARE!: February 2010 Photo Contest Entries!!! =-.
Being an adult totally sucks but watching one’s children enjoy their youth is awesome.
Ain’t this the truth! Life is never how we imagine it will be when we’re kids and we’re filled with nothing but optimism and naivete. I remember thinking that parents were much too strict and that they couldn’t possibly remember what it’s like for kids. I remember telling myself that I’ll be a *cool* mom who would let her kids do what they please because my parents didn’t. Ha! I laugh at my former self. But I also miss many aspects of her – the optimism, the carefree way of life, and the lack of anxious worry all the time.
Beautiful post that I think all parents can relate to on some level.
-Aimee
.-= Aimee @ Ain’t Yo Mama’s Blog´s last blog ..Review & Give-Away! Skin MD Natural Shielding Lotion =-.
I am another one who had a tumultuous and non-idyllic childhood. I love being an adult and creating a safe, positive space for myself and my family. I waited so long for it.
However, it’s not always “fun” and I do dream about the day I get to just go visit the grandkids and then come home to my quiet, clean house where I do things that *I* like.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..A lovely morning =-.
When I say shit like this my husband is all, “you lead a charmed life. look at this house. look at your beautiful, healthy children.” And I’m all, “yeah, you’re right. Now, please excuse me while I clean up cat vomit for the 15th time today.” I guess it’s all relative. But this being a grown up shtick? It’s way harder than I bargained for. I wrote a post recently about my discontent if you’re interested: http://bit.ly/9gLQEA
love you!
.-= Kami Lewis Levin´s last blog ..Two Whole Years =-.
I’ve been thinking lately that we shouldn’t really expect much fun or happiness out of life. If you get them, great. But even when they exist, they are always going to be counterbalanced by whatever you have to worry about at any given stage in your life. And when you have sick parents to worry about, and kids, and spouses and jobs or lack or jobs or whatever, and you know that whatever worries you have now will only be replaced by new ones in the future, it’s just not very encouraging. Its like a carousel of worry. Some of the old worries get off, but new ones always step on. I guess the goal is to find new moments of fun and happiness to replace the ones you had yesterday. Just remember the stupid shit you worried about when you were young. At least you can feel like the worry you have today is at least more important and less self-centered.