I woke up a few mornings ago in a cold sweat panic. It took me a moment to realize that it was only a dream because of how real and vivid the details were.

My son. (Now remember, what I’m about to tell you was just dreamnightmare).

He, my darling, precious baby, told me that he lost his virginity.

I was irate and horrified due to the fact that he is barely 14 and that is so young. I told him how disappointed I was and I hoped that protection was used. I also made it very clear to him that this was much too young of an age to be schtupping(ph, that’s for you).

His response was, “I know Mom. I didn’t really want to do it. But SHE wanted to. Really badly. So I just did.” He appeared to be very upset with himself and not at all pleased that he had done the deed.

And then? I woke up. Absolutely sure that my son was no longer a virgin because some slutty 8th grader couldn’t keep her legs together.

On the other hand though, my son gave in to peer pressure, in my dream. Which, isn’t him in real life. Yet.

This leads me to my next story.

So. My 14 year old daughter is in love with Justin Bieber. She stalks him on Facebook, leaving comments on every single status update the kid makes. She knows all the stats that are supposedly his and not hearsay, rumors or gossip. She loves this girlie boy as much as she loves Robert Pattinson. You should see her room. The walls on her side are covered with team Edward AND Team Justin. I feel my stomach bile rising into my throat whenever I set foot in that shrine of a room. Not to mention, my 11 y/o daughter is Team Jacob and her side is a shrine to Taylor Lautner.

Anywhooooo…

Last night, my 14 y/o finds out, through her stalking, that THE Mr. Justin Bieber himself has an aversion to Ugg boots. He finds them to be vile.

It just so happens that my darling daughter lives in her chocolate brown, size 9.5 Uggs. Until last night.

She won’t wear her Uggs anymore. Because some guy that she will NEVER, EVER meet, said that he thinks Uggs are unsexy and unattractive. He’s 15 and hasn’t appeared to go through puberty yet, this high-pitched voice Bieber kid. What could he POSSIBLY know about sexy or attractive?

The thing that angered and troubled me most. If she’ll stop wearing her favorite boots and instead, don a pair of WAY too small Converse that makes her feet look like they are being binded. All because of a untouchable kid she has a crush on, that she will NEVER meet. What will she do to gain the acceptance of a REAL LIFE, flesh and blood boy?

I teased her a little but I tried to make her realize that these were ridiculous actions. It embarrassed her but hopefully, I made her think. I hope.

That was, similarly, what bothered me about my dream. He didn’t WANT to have sex and lose his virginity to this slut whore girl. He only did it because she wanted to.

Which then, led me to the realization that I’m not ready for teenagers and trying to encourage them to use their own mind and to steer away from peer pressure. To be their own person. To stay true to themselves and what they believe in.

Yet another aspect of parenting that I neglected to think about when I spread my own legs in hopes of conception.

What. Was I thinking?

This is going to be a long journey.

And darn it! Too bad those Uggs are a 9 1/2 and way too big. They are super cute!