I woke up a few mornings ago in a cold sweat panic. It took me a moment to realize that it was only a dream because of how real and vivid the details were.
My son. (Now remember, what I’m about to tell you was just dreamnightmare).
He, my darling, precious baby, told me that he lost his virginity.
I was irate and horrified due to the fact that he is barely 14 and that is so young. I told him how disappointed I was and I hoped that protection was used. I also made it very clear to him that this was much too young of an age to be schtupping(ph, that’s for you).
His response was, “I know Mom. I didn’t really want to do it. But SHE wanted to. Really badly. So I just did.” He appeared to be very upset with himself and not at all pleased that he had done the deed.
And then? I woke up. Absolutely sure that my son was no longer a virgin because some slutty 8th grader couldn’t keep her legs together.
On the other hand though, my son gave in to peer pressure, in my dream. Which, isn’t him in real life. Yet.
This leads me to my next story.
So. My 14 year old daughter is in love with Justin Bieber. She stalks him on Facebook, leaving comments on every single status update the kid makes. She knows all the stats that are supposedly his and not hearsay, rumors or gossip. She loves this girlie boy as much as she loves Robert Pattinson. You should see her room. The walls on her side are covered with team Edward AND Team Justin. I feel my stomach bile rising into my throat whenever I set foot in that shrine of a room. Not to mention, my 11 y/o daughter is Team Jacob and her side is a shrine to Taylor Lautner.
Anywhooooo…
Last night, my 14 y/o finds out, through her stalking, that THE Mr. Justin Bieber himself has an aversion to Ugg boots. He finds them to be vile.
It just so happens that my darling daughter lives in her chocolate brown, size 9.5 Uggs. Until last night.
She won’t wear her Uggs anymore. Because some guy that she will NEVER, EVER meet, said that he thinks Uggs are unsexy and unattractive. He’s 15 and hasn’t appeared to go through puberty yet, this high-pitched voice Bieber kid. What could he POSSIBLY know about sexy or attractive?
The thing that angered and troubled me most. If she’ll stop wearing her favorite boots and instead, don a pair of WAY too small Converse that makes her feet look like they are being binded. All because of a untouchable kid she has a crush on, that she will NEVER meet. What will she do to gain the acceptance of a REAL LIFE, flesh and blood boy?
I teased her a little but I tried to make her realize that these were ridiculous actions. It embarrassed her but hopefully, I made her think. I hope.
That was, similarly, what bothered me about my dream. He didn’t WANT to have sex and lose his virginity to this slut whore girl. He only did it because she wanted to.
Which then, led me to the realization that I’m not ready for teenagers and trying to encourage them to use their own mind and to steer away from peer pressure. To be their own person. To stay true to themselves and what they believe in.
Yet another aspect of parenting that I neglected to think about when I spread my own legs in hopes of conception.
What. Was I thinking?
This is going to be a long journey.
And darn it! Too bad those Uggs are a 9 1/2 and way too big. They are super cute!
I simply loath peer pressure. Hate it now as much as I did when I was at that age. Regarding the Bieber kid; what the hell does ANY guy know about fashion for girls/women unless he is GAY?? Ask her that!
As for the dream – it’s your maternal instinct preparing you ahead of time so that situation DOESN’T happen. God gave us intuition for a reason, and it is for those times when our sons let that little head do all the thinking for them.
“Yet another aspect of parenting that I neglected to think about when I spread my own legs in hopes of conception.” – I completely relate to that statement!
.-= Carolyn´s last blog ..WARNING: Bored Domesticated Female on the Loose! =-.
Oh my, I am sooooo not looking forward to the teenage years!!!!
Stay strong 😀
.-= amotherworld´s last blog ..GNO =-.
Yes, it isn’t going to be pretty….I have been there!
Now my girls are in their 30’s and we laugh about some of the things that happened as I winged my way through parenting them and they struggled through adolescence…!
this too shall pass…..
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..Oops! –OR –I have the memory of an elephant (an elephant with dementia)… =-.
UGH I am SO not ready for the teen years.
My 7-year-old has a crush on a boy in her room. It’s cute and innocent at this point.
Again…SO not ready for teenage years.
p.s. I have been wanting to buy a pair of Uggs! 😉 Our big snow this weekend (don’t laugh…we rarely get snow) made me realize I have no cute winter boots. And we all know how vitally important THAT is. 😉
Ok, I don’t even know who this Justin kid is. Except I saw him on TMZ the other day, where the guy asked if he had any suggestions on how to get women (yes, really) and the kid said “Just be yourself”. So you can tell your daughter that what he really wants is for her to just be herself. Or something. You know, words of wisdom there.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..About Last Night =-.
You know what the worst part is? When legitimately being true to themselves means disagreeing with us. Ouch.
Ya know, it never gets easier, this parenting gig. It changes…but it never gets easier.
*sigh*
My oldest is 5 and I am looking less and less forward to her teenage years. sigh. Thanks, now I will have my own batch of nightmares! 😉
Okay, I wear a size 9. Just sayin’.
I don’t think peer pressure ever goes away. I know young moms who feel like they have to do the big, fancy birthday parties because their kids are being invited to big, fancy birthday parties. And how many of us buy presents for the children we love based on what’s most popular, what ever other kid has? I’m a grandmother, I don’t hear them whining all the time and it’s hard not to do that.
She might as well learn now. She’s got a long, long road ahead.
.-= Joni Golden´s last blog ..Yoga 4 Peace, Inc. in Southgate offers 200-hour yoga teacher training =-.
lol my shrine was mostly comprised of Scott Baio. You can imagine how excited I was when he was back on tv. So funny. love teen fandom.
.-= Juanita´s last blog ..My tweets On 2010-02-04 =-.
Send them to teen boot camp. everybody’s doing it!
.-= kami´s last blog ..All Fall Down: My Worst Fear =-.
Gahhhhh!! My 5 yo baby is SOOOOO crushing on the Bieber – who looks and sounds like an 11 year old girl as far as I’m concerned. Sure, he’s Canadian and all, but still …if he comes on the TV, everything stops as she’s mesmerized. What is UP with that?
I’m not looking forward to the teenage years either… I can believe these nightmares that you’re having… hopefully they will just stay nightmares and figments of your imagination.
.-= Karen MEG´s last blog ..Postcards from the minivan and other fragments =-.
Wow, she has Uggs? She must have a really cool Mom. Anyway, my heart goes out to you. Teenagers, particularly girls, seem to have a few more challenges these days than we ever did. Hang in there. I have no words of wisdom as I am just getting used to having my kid out of his crib. But you have my support. XO
.-= Mommy X´s last blog ..More Random Crapola =-.
The sad thing is, lots of adults still do this kind of thing…we do things we don’t want to do to make other people happy, to avoid “making waves,” because it’s easier than standing up for what is right, etc. How many people still struggle with just saying no to a volunteer commitment or watching someone’s child when we’re pooped or any number of things?
Okay, so teenage sex and teenage peer pressure is a huge deal, and I’m not trying to make excuses for kids making the wrong choices. But, heck, I see myself “caving” on small, everyday things and wonder how I can look my kids in the eye and say “Don’t cave on sex, drugs,and drinking!” Maybe by just saying, “Don’t cave on the big things?”
If standing up for what is right, making the right decisions, and going against peer pressure were so easy, there wouldn’t be such a huge self-help market.
I’ll also add that I am so glad I am NOT a teenager now. It was so much easier twenty years ago.
I am a huge fan of Justin bieber….yes….he does kind of sound like a girl but he’s at the age where his voice might be changing….I was born a day b4 Justin and I was sooo amazed that I knew I had to be fan #1. I am hoping someday I get the chance to sit down and talk with him…..
I own 6 pairs of uggs I wear them and I still do love Justin bieber but if he decides to like u for what u wear….something wrong a true guy will like u for who u r and ur personality …if ur around his age of course…..
Yet I still think teenage sec is wrong for kids….if u don’t wear any protection….ur a p
dad and most girls r the stupid ones they want it they think that if u have sec then tell every one at school ur gonna be the coolest one…..actually f- no ur gonna be the slurry whore ur talking about……
Btw I have strong words don’t I lol and I’m only in the 7th grade :))
Ok whatever every girl is inlove with justin bieber and uggs are out of style anyway and converse and hightops are so in its not only because of him
I think many ppl neglect to envision their kids as teenagers when they have kids. They either focus on them being babies or grown up young adults supporting them. I always worry that my love will gradually go down from the time they’re cute little babies to the time they’re annoying teenagers..
Henway´s last blog post ..Oxy-Powder Success Story
im a justin bieber fan myself but im lyk not crazed i mean he is kinda cute whu cares bout his voice or if uses it 2 sing i dnt care if he is famouz only cute n nice but still who knows hiz a covered up stuck up jerk dats y i dnt LUV hym so tell ur daughter he mighy b a stupid jerk who wnt luv her n find a better guy dat iz wat ma mom tells me since im only in 7th grade lyk da other day he said he wnt go out w/ a fan cuz dey worship hym hhahaha really lyk der r tons of girls who think his gay n HATE hym n im a fan n im not even close 2 worship hym