I try.
I do.
I try to remember who I’m dealing with and take her actions for what they are worth. Which are nothing more than selfish and pathetic excuses for piss poor parenting and a raging case of personality disorders.
But. I’m so pissed. Smoke erupting from the top of my head, ears and nose. Eyes rolling. Frothy rabid mouth.
Frustrated. Resentful. Seething.
As you know, I’ve gone back to school. I’m taking 7 credits, which is two classes. It’s all I have time for. It’s all I could afford at this point.
As you know. The bio mom is back in school too. She, on the other hand, is taking a full load. 4 classes. Because she signed up for one of those government grants. And she got the full amount that one is eligible to receive because she claimed…get this one…she is a mom to 5 kids. Hers and her new husbands.
None of them live with her. They have an occasional sleep over. That. Is. It.
She has the time to take those 12 credits. She isn’t raising kids. She doesn’t work. She collects unemployment, thanks to Obama who has enabled this unemployment extension, even though she hasn’t worked in over a year nor has she pursued looking for employment. PLUS. She got a stinking government FAFSA grant to pay for her entire year. She doesn’t have to stop her life to stay home with sick kids. She doesn’t have to do laundry for 7 people.
She has 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. To do with as she pleases.
So why is it that she barely see her kids anymore? She has started using studying as a guise to blow off the fruit of her loins. But what else is new, right? If it isn’t school, it’s headaches and period cramps.
This is all fine and dandy. Except, the thing that is pissing me off more than anything is…
I don’t have that luxury and privilege. I don’t even have that choice.
My study time is limited to an hour here and there. Because, I work so that I can pay for school and whatever other incidental comes along. I have laundry for 7 people. Meals to make. Kids to take care of. A household to run.
I have a life. It’s not just about me.
I am not ALONE. Although, holy hell, sometimes I wish I was.
I can only study during those moments when my life is at a dull roar. I can only do my homework when my life is walking.
Quiet, slow times in my world still are full of ruckus and chaos. I just have to figure out how to block it out and get my stuff done so that I can get decent grades.
I KNOW! I have to get over my anger and resentment towards her. Because all it’s going to achieve is absolutely nothing, except to do what it’s done today and distract me from writing the two poems I have to do for my creative writing class and prevented me from studying for my Business Law quiz. Yeah, that’s all it’s done. Nothing.
While she sat quietly in the library. All day. Studying for her Business Law quiz and whatever else she had. Alone.
And I sat. In my kitchen. Full of noise and activity. Trying to study.
Yet. I got nothing done.
Except for this blog post.
Sigh.
WOW no words. If it means anything, All this will mean more to you one day because you worked harder for it. Keep truckin’ along and know you have a World Wide Web of support.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Beyond =-.
Her selfishness is incredible.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Weekly Winners ~ thawing out? =-.
Wow. That Guy and I have both been in school for what seems like an eternity. We both take 2 classes a semester, we both work full time (and then some)
So we both take turns dealing with the kids so the other can get some homework done.
It’s fair and it’s just plain common courtesy. I’m sorry that that selfish wench can’t seem to see that you may just need similar time to get your homework and studying done. I’m amazed by her ability to make MY blood boil, when I’m just an outsider looking in.
If I were you, at this point? I’d drop her children off and say “I just can’t take care of them today, I have studying to do.”
.-= Jill´s last blog ..Super Teen* =-.
Are you two in the SAME Business Law class? Also, she sucks and you rock. Also, people don’t change. And even if she miraculously woke up one day and decided to be a better mom to her bio kids, would you trust her with them? She doesn’t sound particularly stable. Having to find time for everything in your life is impossible. Do the best you can. I personally am having trouble finding my zen place these days which results in a lot of yelling and cursing on my part. Maybe wine? Muah.
.-= Kami Lewis Levin´s last blog ..Birthday Execution =-.
Girl, take a load off! I’m not sure how old the kids are, but your hubby can kick it up a notch. I feel your pain. The only time I can get anything done is when I stay late at work, and I only have two kds!
The Ex seems like a piece of work, though. You ought to just dump the kids off at her house one day saying you need a break! What could she do? What could she say? Hell, you’re raising HER damn kids!
Some folks make me nuts! Just because you CAN reproduce, doesn’t necessarily mean you SHOULD reproduce…
.-= LB´s last blog ..The Misadventures of a JC Junkie =-.
While I don’t walk in your shoes and my situation is different, I think I understand your frustration. I’ve been trying to work at home since last October with very little child care and no outside help for any of the household chores either inside or out. Lately I’ve been going a bit crazy trying to keep up with demands from many fronts: the kids’ needs, work for clients, volunteer obligations and the household stuff. As a result, I get very little sleep which makes me crabby and irrational.
I know the load is unfairly tipped in your direction, but it sounds like the kids are better off with you. They will be better for your sacrifices and maybe someday the ex will be better for her efforts. Still sucks for you. I hope you can get some relief soon.
.-= MomZombie´s last blog ..How the story ends =-.
That is definitely a very frustrating situation!
Some people just don’t get what parenting is… she should be kissing your A$$ for being the wonderful amazing stepmother that you are to her children.
Those kids are so fortunate & believe me one day they will realize everything themselves.
Hang in there chica!
((hugs))
I’m with you on how hard the multitasking with kids can be. I don’t have bio parents to deal with, but I do get resentful of friends that just drop their kids off at the grandparents’ house–FOR THE NIGHT–on a whim. Just because they’d like a quiet house for a night. Wouldn’t that be nice? Both of our families love the kids, but they still work and don’t all live nearby. They babysit on occasion and we truly appreciate it rather than just expect it.
Hope venting helped you feel a little better!!
.-= Deb´s last blog ..Sunday snippets =-.
But you will gain wisdom from your life experience that she will never grasp.
You may get B’s and not A’s due to the time limitations, but you will really learn. That is what it is all about.
P.S. Make the father of the children give you some alone time to study! You have the right!
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..Here they are! January’s PHOTO CONTEST entries!!! =-.
You have every right to resent the fact that this woman is using everyone and everything around her. I’m sure by now you have figured out a number of things. Like the fact that when the kids grow up, they will see the huge difference between how they were treated by you, and how their biomother treats them. They already see it, I’m sure, and just may not be able to put it into words. Once they grow up, and go off on their own it’s going to be you that they come back to. And when you’re an old lady, and she’s an even older (looking) hag, I can only hope for you that they will come to your side and give you what you have given them all these years. And the fact that none of those things matter to her right now…when she finally gets what she has sought all these years, she will have it. She will be alone. And you will have the people you loved around you. Making noise. Being there. Loving you back. Hang in there. You’re working for your future in more ways than you know.
I know it does not seem fair now BELIEVE you me we have been there! When my husband was going thru med school he would have gotten grants for certain circumstances even though he had an almost 4.0 average and it upset us SO much…$250,000 later it all worked out and he got a better job with better sign on bonus than the other person who is soaking the system. Get my drift. Just remember what goes around comes around in the long run. Hard honest work does pay off…keep at it!
.-= Alyssa´s last blog ..Stepford Wives For Real? =-.
I don’t know how you manage it all so well, Melissa. I agree with the previous commenter who suggested that you just drop her kids off to her on her scheduled days. Don’t give her an out, or make it easy for her to disappoint HER kids. I can’t even imagine how sad they must feel – internalizing her selfishness and feeling as though they are somehow bad because their own mother doesn’t want to see them. Straight up – I’d just tell her too bad, bitch – I have plans!
.-= Miss Behavin´s last blog ..Love Is In The Air =-.
But you know you wouldn’t trade places with her for a minute.
You have it so much better than her – not easier, for sure, but better.
Thank goodness these kids have you!!!
Oh, goodness, Melissa, I so feel for you! I’ve faced a similar situation and, yes, the unfairness of it all just makes you want to go punch the moron in the nose.
Yeah, life isn’t fair…but some things shouldn’t be THIS unfair!
If you can get a break, come down to Bloggy Boot Camp in March. I’ll buy you a glass of wine and toast your awesomeness. 🙂
.-= Michele´s last blog ..Men, Mothers, & Models, or Why I Haven’t Got a Prayer =-.