I always ho-hummed when the Been-There, Done-That’s told me to embrace the moments and breathe in their scent. I humored them with a smile when they warned me how fast it goes. I was hopeful when they reminded me that they don’t stay babies very long.
To me, back then, time didn’t seem to go fast enough when I was feening a full night of uninterrupted sleep or a day without having to change diapers or be followed into the bathroom.
I loved my babies though.
Everything about them.
Their noises.
Their smells.
I was there, watching every milestone come. And go.
Taking pictures.
Writing dates in baby books which have long since disappeared.
Promising myself that I will always remember. I will never forget the firsts, seconds, thirds. Cute little -ism’s that I thought were embedded in the photo albums and tape recorders of my brain.
Then, I blinked.
And those memories are gone. Trapped in the cobwebs of my overwhelmed and fuzzy mind.
Now, before me stand deep male voices telling me angrily that they don’t have to.
Girls who are becoming women begging for new razors and pads.
Rebelling, hormones, angst, depression, anger, boy-crazed, girl-crazed, Mom, I hate you, stop it your embarrassing me, don’t kiss me in front of people…
Teens.
All I did was blink.
And they replaced my babies.
My sweet smelling, cooing babies who wanted nothing more that to just coexist in our own little world, are now these beautiful young adults. If I squint and stare long enough I can see the babies that they were.
I wish I breathed in just a little deeper, a little longer. I wish I held them a little tighter.
Maybe it wouldn’t have gone so fast.
I’m trying to embrace these few years that I have left with them. I am trying to not wish it, these difficult and hormonally charged teen years, to be over.
Because I know. I must be careful what I wish for.
This post made me teary M.
Thank you for reminding me to cherish those moments when my kids want mummy to hug them and kiss them and hug them some more.XO
.-= Brenda´s last blog ..How insanely cool is my next door suburb? =-.
Mine are 31 and almost 29, and I have loved every stage of their lives – even now when they hardly ever call. 🙂
Just wait, the whole grandchildren thing is just like having babies. Except you get to give them back to their parents when they’re cranky.
.-= Joni Golden´s last blog ..Women’s Health and Pregnancy Prevention Package: February 2 =-.
Oh 🙁 I’m getting off the computer now to go have a cuddle with mine. Seriously, all day I was chanting how I am desperate for some time alone, but after reading this I just want to inhale a toddler’s scent.
.-= ImBeingHeldHostage´s last blog ..Suckered =-.
Exactly.
But not to worry, before long they grant you perfect grandbabies and you get to do it all over again!!!
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..More Hoarfrost!!!!–Part One =-.
Ugh. My baby (and the last one) turns 2 in a week. I’m having a REALLY hard time with it. But not so hard that I want to get knocked up again.
.-= LizzB (@hereslizz)´s last blog ..The Big One (Part 2) and Farewell to Fat! =-.
This post terrifies me.
.-= Bejewell´s last blog ..The Post With Lots of “Buts” and One Unusually Tiny Head =-.
Looking at my daughter lately, with her need for a bra and a razor and OMG wasn’t she a toddler last week?
I know what you’re thinking.
.-= Jill´s last blog ..Walking Away =-.
From time to time I sit here and imagine my retirement. When the house is quiet and I have time and money to travel. Hmmph. If I back up my mind a few years I imagine graduations. HIgh school and college. A picture of the boys hanging around each other, one of them dressed in cap and gown. Back up further still and I think about how much easier it will be when all boys can get themselves in and out of the car without assistance, without a physical struggle on my part. No car seats. No diapers. No screaming tantrums–maybe just a little attitude.
Then I stop myself. And I take a breath. And I look at their little bodies. And I think “No, don’t ever let it happen.” Or at least, let it be slow. And steady. And let me always remember.
Sigh. Thank you for the reminder to keep on remembering where we are now.
My twin boys (who are my last) are 2 & half yrs old. As hard as it was, I’d love them to be babies again. I asked my husband and he said No, he’s just happy we got through it. It was tough. But I miss their infancy something awful. My oldest just turned 22, and my memories of his infancy are very vague, and it hurts. Thanx to your post, I think I’ll be pulling out the camera and the video cam a lot more.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Pardon my dust =-.