On Homework
I knew, when I signed up for classes, that there would be homework. I’m OK with that. After all, I have no choice. I either do the homework or take an F in the classes that I spent my own money on. Money that, if I get anything less than an A or…A…would be wasted and better spent on groceries.
What I didn’t take into consideration is…all the everyday, live-in distractions that prevent me from doing homework at convenient times. Between all the day to day “must do” stuff to the demands of the five kids to my little job, I didn’t get a chance to start reading my homework until last night.
I opened my Creative Writing book, which seems to be very interesting. I started to read it. I got about 3 pages in and I promptly fell asleep. Drool and all. Yes, I’m a fine specimen of a serious student.
In my Creative Writing class, we are starting with a unit on poetry. POETRY. Not only am I required to read the stuff, I have to write some too.
Me? Writing poetry? Oy. I can barely fumble my way through a blogpost and I have to write poetry? For a grade? Vey.
I’ll have to experiment on all you lucky people before I turn anything in. Aren’t you the lucky ones?!
Men and Poker
Someday, and I am not sure I truly, in my heart of hearts, believe what I’m about to try to convince myself of. But anyway…
SOMEDAY. Men will not be so loud when they are playing poker. On that someday, they will be conscious of the fact that there are children in the house. As well as women who are trying to study but due to the noise has been forced to flee to her dear internet for solace and consolation. And distraction.
Someday.
On My Psychotic, Neurotic Mind
Wanna know the random drivel I was thinking about today? Oh shush…sure you do. Here, I’ll do it in list form. It’s a practice run for the first poetry homework assignment I have. A list poem with no rhyming and some other instructions that might as well be in Ukrainian because I don’t understand a word of it. It’s about poetry, that’s all I know.
Ready?
I write. Why? Because, whether or not I do it well, to me it’s like a pinch to prove I’m alive.
And then this…
Law is about facts only, there are no opinions allowed. Life is the complete opposite, it seems.
Then I thought about this, in light of recent gossip spreading like wildfire in my community…
People. Stop your freaking cheating. Because if the entire community knows about it, that means your children will find out. And do you really want your kids to find out you were fucking someone who wasn’t their Mommy or Daddy while they are swinging on the playground monkey bars? They might hurt themselves. But not as badly as you hurt them.
And lastly, I share with you this…
Tomorrow, my son has his gymnastics class. This class is a little over an hour long. Normally, I’d have my husband take him. But, no. I’m going to. I’m going to schlep my poor, tired, sorry ass over to the gymnastic establishment. I’m going to bring my homework with me. And for an hour and twenty-five minutes, I will sit there with no one calling me mommy. I will read. And highlight. And take notes. Maybe, just maybe. I might get something done while my son is swinging from the ceiling with some little pishers that call themselves gymnastics teachers.
That, my friends, is all you are going to be able to squeeze out of me tonight. I am drained.
Oh boy! You have your hands full, girl. And I, for one, think you will be great with poetry. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a haiku from you and it was good. I think. What is with people all running around like big old giant boners? Where is this happening? I will never understand all of that. Aren’t we all just a tad more civilized? Use your hands, people! Sheesh! But back to poetry. Melissa, I think you would enjoy e.e. cummings. I seriously do. Check out his stuff…it will not disappoint. Very tongue in cheek, much like yourself.
Homework + kids = nightmare. I had my second child in the middle of my master’s program; two kids under two years while trying to study was pure insanity. But it can be done. You can do it! Just hang in there!
Cheating men. Sigh. All I can think of is every man thinks they will be the one who doesn’t get caught. That’s because they’re not thinking with their head. ‘Nuff said.
I banish the poker crew out to our barn. My husband’s crew like to smoke cigars while they play. That’s fine…just not in this house. (Fortunately, hubby agrees with me on this one.)
I hope you can get some work done at gymnastics. Whenever I tried that I’d get other mothers asking me, “So, what are you working on/studying/etc.?” Nice that they want to be friendly and make conversation, but I…am…doing…something. Sigh.
.-= Michele´s last blog ..WEEKEND MUSINGS: Riding the Wheel of Fortune =-.
I only have 2 kidlets to stop my progress, but I’ll be right there with you in March (thank goodness for a short session class)! I’m starting a Literature Based Writing class that will run for 8 weeks. It’s supposed to be the same 16 week course work, just condensed, which likely means even more homework. Ugh. It should be an experience. The last class I took was before I had my daughter 3 years ago and I struggled to get my homework done then!
Blargh. Writing Poetry seems remarkably unappealing. I even capitalized the P because it’s a big giant scary looming thing. I’m taking Beginning Fiction Writing this semester. Lets see how that one goes. Oy vey.
.-= Molly´s last blog ..Aaron =-.
wow. That was a brilliant piece of extemporary writing, girl. In it’s own league. For real.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..Better life half gone than half lived. Or something less preachy and more inspiring. =-.
good luck. I hope you are able to get it done. I am not a poet either.
That’s too funny. I can’t tell you how many moms I would see taking homework to their kids’ karate classes. Three times a week, they got a lot done! I don’t host poker games in my house (yet). Hubby’s friends prefer that horrible Ultimate Fighting crap that we have to buy PPV. The wives are kicked outside or to the dining room while the guys drink and hang all over my furniture. The kids already know what a choke hold is. Scary stuff. Anyway, congrats on going back to school, good luck and my prayers are with you. You may need them.
the Men and Poker could be a fine poem. A few line breaks, and you’ve got a great piece of free verse!
I did homework that way in my Masters program. I would drop off the kids for a lesson and read or work while they were busy. Laundry works, too. Drop in a load, work until the load needs moving, stand up and take a break – to start the next load.
Good luck with school!
.-= Daisy´s last blog ..I heard it on the grapevine =-.
Poetry – I love to read it; unfortunatley, I don’t have a poetic bone in my body. That was one of the worst parts of Creative Writing. It may help to do a little research and find something that inspires you to get started. I do know the more intimidated a project, the quicker writer’s block appears. Also, keep a notebook next to your bed (if you don’t already) because I have found that some of the most incredible thoughts appear when your mind begins to relax, which, in your case (with 5! kids) is probably late at night when the house is quiet.
Good luck! xoxo
.-= Miss Behavin´s last blog ..Stop Spanking Your Kids. Seriously, They Have Guns Now! =-.
When my Hubz has poker, they go in the garage!
.-= LizzB (@hereslizz)´s last blog ..Don’t You Forget About You…and Weigh Day! =-.
First of all, ALL your blog posts are poetry. Just, ya know, create some line breaks, add in a pinch of repetition and you got it. Second, I think bringing your HW to your son’s gymnastics class is brilliant. I do that too sometimes, when I’m trying to write a blog post. Ironic that the only time you can be left alone is at your kid’s stupid class…Also, can’t they play poker at someone else’s house? Jeez.
.-= Kami Lewis Levin´s last blog ..Where is My Mind? =-.