Being a Mom to five kids is a swell gig. Well, some of the time it is. Like, during the day when they are at school. Or on the weekends when they are with their other parents…when it actually works out. Yeah, that’s when it’s really an awesome thing, being a Mom to five beautiful offspring.
But then. Schools have this little thing that fucks up parental…or Mommies…schedule. It’s called a two week long winter vacation. Say it with me with a forced smile…vay. cay. shun. Yes, that’s right. Very good.
It’s all fine and dandy, the first couple of days. Sleeping in. Lounging around in pajamas all day long, oblivious to the sun shifting in the winter sky. Time is of little importance when you have nowhere to be and tons of AA batteries for the Wii remote.
Suddenly, within a couple of days it starts. The dreaded and annoying “I’m bored” in a nasally whine.
It’s time to entertain the troops.
So, we all get dressed. Brush the film off our teeth and wipe the sleep boogers out of our eyes. And we pile into the car.
And holy hell if it doesn’t cost $100. EVERY. STINKING. TIME. We set a single extremity into the car. For the kids, we go into bankruptcy to keep them entertained. That’s just the kind of parents these kids of mine are blessed with. Anything for them.
So, we take them to see movies. At least one cute little angel, if not more, whines that they don’t want to see the already chosen and agreed upon movie or they don’t want the already purchased and buttered popcorn, they want candy instead. Brats.
We try really hard not to feed them our fist and make them see stars.
And so the first week flies by, much like what I’ve described. Sitting around, glued to the TV screen. Or driving around throwing $100 or more to entertain ungrateful darlings, daily, out the car window.
I try to keep in mind how lucky I am to have all these sweet little muffins.
But then, they start fighting over stupid things like…he looked at me funny. Or…her leg was touching mine when I was about to release the A button and so I didn’t make a strike in the Wii bowling game. Then there is my favorite, she got to choose everything we watched on TV over the last two and a half hours.
I’m going to go bald from pulling out my hair.
Oh, and let’s talk about the messes.
It’s incredible that, after being home for 1 week (so far), how bad the mess can get in a house because the younger inhabitants forgot how to bend their bodies over to pick things up that they “accidentally” carelessly dropped onto the floor. Seriously! I love them but WOW, they are a useless lot of working limbs.
So yeah. Kids are great. In small doses.
Vacations. Not a big fan.
Unless of course, it’s just my husband and me in a remote tropical place.
And the kids are at home whining to a babysitter.
Now *THAT* is a vacation to be excited about!
I only have the one – and he is driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!
.-= Gigi´s last blog ..Update on computer and other ramble-y stuff =-.
Kami Lewis Levin says
today was my Day of Rest. My BIG hanukkah present. A whole day all to myself to do with what I pleased. And it was awesome. Until 1pm. When my husband and the kids got home. And my husband was all, “I don’t feel well. I need to get in bed.” And the kids are all, “nap? what nap? We’re not gonna nap!” And my DAY of rest dwindled to a mere 6 hours of rest. Which were great, but now I’m pissed about the last 5 hours that weren’t restful at all but just another day in the life. Join me in a glass?
.-= Kami Lewis Levin´s last blog ..Giving up the Funk (Tearing the Roof off the Sucker) =-.
I agree! Kids, they are absolutely amazing…when they’re all asleep in their beds.
Hmmm…there has to be some kind of a loophole in the refund-exchange policy. I’m just saying.=)
.-= Brenda´s last blog ..My Christmas Miracle =-.
God do I totally agree. I only took 2 days off this week ( and of course I am off Friday) and they are driving me NUTS already. Bored, not enough to do, no one else is around for play dates, the neighbor only wants to play with one of my kids… blah blah blah… ugh. I escaped to work today but am off tomorrow. Think I might be “called” in to work.. 😉
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..Post It Note Tuesday~ snarky edition!! =-.
I’m so laughing because I thought I was actually suppose to send the kids back to school this past Monday, only to wake up at 5 freaking 30, make coffee, then make the stupid move of looking at my calendar and realizing that I was to – STILL – be held prisoner for another week by the pod people I gave birth to.
Oh — Lucky — Me!
Thankfully, we bought the kids their own computer this year – which the younger 2 of moved their beds into the computer room and have been living there since Christmas day. The twins each got their own Guitar Hero games (xbox AND Wii), and they have moved into their own rooms and we haven’t seen them since about 11 am on Christmas morning. Did I mention that the son also got Xbox live – so we’ll see him…… next Christmas when his membership is up.
And why does it cost so much to entertain these darling (ungrateful) children so that mom and dad can hold onto what sanity we have left for the rest of the year?
Just think – summer is JUST around the corner!
Sarah @ Small Slice says
I feel a bit of your pain except I only have 1 that is home from school this week. 11yr old boy addicted to the xbox 360. When he’s not playing he’s making my 2 year old SCREAM. It’s really driving me nuts!
.-= Sarah @ Small Slice´s last blog ..My Girl =-.
That’s it, you poke fun at your kid’s childishness, this is how life is supposed to be, have FUN and after it is said, you get things done!
have a good one!
Happy new year!
.-= jingle´s last blog ..The Infinite Sequences on Knitting and Writing =-.
dysfunctional mom says
Don’t those kids have friends? Ship them off!!
Since DeBoy is home all day anyway, having the Queen at home hasn’t been that much of a change. So far they haven’t become bored with their Christmas presents. Of course, they’re younger, so they don’t really do the “I’m bored” thing yet. Good luck with the rest of the break!
.-= Janet´s last blog ..Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night =-.
AMEN! Thank GAWD that I have a full time job. Not having to deal with the insane, ridiculous, stupid fighting that goes on is priceless. Having to clean up a day’s worth of mess from five kids after working all day, not so much…. Thank god we have a place we can vent online!
Tara R. says
One of the nice things about a few of the resorts down here where I live, is that they have activities directors like cruise ships, AND have programs for the kiddos so they are occupied and mom/pop can enjoy the beach without chaperones. Seriously, you need a vacation in at least a subtropical state…. ya know, like Florida?
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Wordless/Wordful Wednesday ~ chocolate orange =-.
Far too many days off from school, as far as I’m concerned. Vacation in 2010 = send kids to summer sleep away camp for a gazillion dollars, just to be able to have a long weekend away, and a couple nights just doing nothing, in our own house, without the bellows of “i’m bored” from various children. Cheers….
.-= Dave´s last blog ..dave_moss: RT @SeattleWineGal Pass this video on 2 everyone u know in the wine industry! Not 2 be missed. http://bit.ly/68R3mG #winewednesday #seattle =-.
Email From The Embassy says
Did you just spot me with my four kids at the bowling alley? Because you pretty much described our trip – right down to the $100 spent. Oh – but here in Beijing, the vacation lasts Three Whole Weeks. Count your blessings…
.-= Email From The Embassy´s last blog ..Eighteen Point Nine Liters =-.
The Retired One says
I remember those days!
But you know what?
You will end up missing them.
This Christmas, none of your kids could come home. It was deadly quiet. and sad.
I would have given anything to have them back,little and screaming at each other…because where they are, life is….
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..Florida Vacation Trip Photos: Part TWO =-.