After breaking up a ridiculously petty argument that turned into a full on fight between my step son and my oldest son(again), I sat down at the kitchen table. Spent. Emotionally drained. Exhausted from being a Mom to hormone and testosterone filled people. In dire. And I mean DIRE. Need of a vacation. Without a single person who refers to me as Mommy, Mom, Momma or Melissa.
Oh the drama. Internet, you have NOTHING compared to what goes on in a house full of teen/tween kids. Now THAT is drama, suspense, mystery, intrigue, horror and sometimes, although more infrequently, comedy.
Sitting at the table with me were my oldest and youngest sons and my daughter. All were bitching about something or another. Me, I just sat with my head in my hands, silently praying. Pleading. For the ground to open and swallow me up. Just so I could get some peace and quiet.
I pick my troubled and weary head up (yes, I’m looking for pity here). I look at my son. Who was doing the most complaining about how much he doesn’t like this one. And how annoying that one is. And blah. Blahblahblah.
His anger, a constant dark cloud that envelopes me. Tormenting me. I say to him, “You fill me with constant worry.” Simply that.
He smiles. Yes. Smiles. He tells me, so sweetly, that it gives him a strange sense of satisfaction to know that.
I bang my head against the table in hopes of knocking myself unconscious.
What? Was I thinking when I had kids?
Those very informative “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” books fail to mention the fact that these cute babies that we get ourselves knocked up with get big. They get mouthy, bitchy, angsty, testy, bratty, smelly, obnoxious, dramatic.
Terrible twos have NOTHING on terrible teens.
I wish someone had warned me. Because I’m thinking that cats would have been much easier.
Sarah, Ohana Mama says
oh shit. Really, it gets worse?
BUT, I think when they are older, like in college, they like you again and you like them and life is awesome…yeah, I am holding on to that…don’t tell me that’s not true 🙂
.-= Sarah, Ohana Mama´s last blog ..I’m pregnant and due in four days… =-.
Tara R. says
No truer words have been spoken – terrible twos have nothing on terrible teens.
Constant state of worry, fear, panic, confusion… constant. I could really use a vacation too.
(It does get better when they get in college… sort of.)
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday ~ season 4, edition 21 =-.
It sounds like we are kindred spirits you and I.
I too have been writing about my exhaustion, my need to get away, the constant pull between loving and despising my boys.
What are we moms to do?
.-= Jillian´s last blog ..Taken Down by Thanksgiving =-.
Thank you for warning me,
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Colors =-.
The Only Girl says
Oh no – I already have panic attacks about the teen years and my guys are only 6 & 9! This isn’t helping!
.-= The Only Girl´s last blog ..A Public Service Announcement =-.
Hearing you sister. I hide in the closet sometimes but the little terrors would still manage to find me. Ugh!
…Lotsa hugs M.
.-= Brenda´s last blog ..16 years ago today… =-.
Another Suburban Mom says
Me, me, come visit me! No better, lets meet up in NYC. We can see a show and visit ridiculously expensive stores and mock the people who spend 10K on pocketbooks.
Then we will eat fattening foods and have drinks the size of bathtubs.
Geez, I am so looking forward to the teen years…..especially if I send everyone to boarding school.
Melisa with one S (PH) says
Teen hormones SUCK.
.-= Melisa with one S (PH)´s last blog ..Let’s Take A Field Trip (or Two), Shall We? =-.
I am SO dreading having TWO boys hitting preteen and then teen angst almost simultaneously. Dear God in Heaven.
But this post? As painful as it is? Hilarious. I LOVE the title. At least they’re giving you good fodder.
.-= TeacherMommy´s last blog ..I Was Trying For Something Humorous And Then Found Myself Getting All Nasty. Must Have Been The Subject Matter. =-.
Gray Matter Matters says
I am living in a total, blissful sense of denial that MY child is going to become one of “those teens.” However, should that become the case I’m thinking Boarding School. Thoughts?
.-= Gray Matter Matters´s last blog ..A stage mom in the making =-.
All it requires is the Patience of Job, the Wisdom of Solomon and, occasionally, the right cross of Muhammad Ali.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Friday Haiku – The Swan =-.
Oh, sweetie….. so sorry. I feel you. As a mom to two young ones, I have yet to experience that first hand…… but as a middle school/high school teacher for 7 years, I have had my taste (albeit not quite the same as mothering the children…. with the slamming of doors…etc), so I truly understand your pain. Much love and I hope you get that vacation soon.
.-= Corina´s last blog ..Living Life Out Loud =-.
Whiney Momma says
Oh man…that’s what I have to look forward to!
I think you most certainly need a vacation girl…just go.
.-= Whiney Momma´s last blog ..Whiney’s case against the pregnancy myths =-.
I can only imagine how my mom felt. Your posts give me a glimpse into it. She too was mom/stepmom to more than a few. My stepsister and I (only 140 days apart in age) literally fought all of the time. My older step brother and stepsister (who were 13 months apart from each other- 3&4 yrs older than my SS and I) fought with each other constantly.
And just because that wasn’t enough there was always my younger sister (2 yrs younger than me.) Oh and the 2 my mom had with my step dad (8 and 11 yrs younger) to fight with each other.
I want to pull my hair out with 2.
And this is EXACTLY why I tell N we are NOT having another.
.-= Jill´s last blog ..There’s more to the story. =-.
Anjanette aka. MommaYoung says
Oh you poor thing. I don’t envy you, but I am right behind you. My oldest just turned 13 and my son will be 11 and they already go at each other one minute and love each other the next.
I know why they don’t war you, cuz we might change our mind and we would be suffering from a lack of population. Wait, nevermind. I wouldn’t care I wanted kids so bad. So I am gonna pay big…
Big Hugs… and here’s to that big hole to swallow you, even if it is just the bathroom for 5 minutes of peace.
.-= Anjanette aka. MommaYoung´s last blog ..Decorating my mantle… =-.
Managed Chaos says
I often feel the same way, my friend. I feel guilty for wanting to escape the constant berage of complaining, whining, moping…just plain ole’ negativity. Afterall, I’m their momma, an adult, who should only feel sweet nothings for her children. But in reality, that’s not always the case.
.-= Managed Chaos´s last blog ..Favorite Photo Friday: Blog It Forward =-.
Oh. My. Hell! You have more thab one teen in your house?! You are a saint – nay – a goddess to have endured without killing at least one!!
I only have the one and could not imagine having to deal with more – especially those of the female persuasian! You deserve a medal at the very least!!
Thank goodness they start out as adorable babies. It takes a very special kind of parent to bring in a mouthy teenager for the first time through the foster care system. To each and every one of them, a thousand gold stars, Purple Hearts, Medals of Valor and whatever else depicts selfless good works. As the mother of only one teenager at the moment, that is enough for me. I have to remind myself constantly of how my presence used to elicit smiles and giggles. Now? All I get are glares, eye rolls and monosyllabic responses if that at all. Good times.
.-= MomZombie´s last blog ..Postcards of justification =-.
They love yanking our chains, don’t they?
I’m waiting for this all to accelerate w/ my 11-year-old who has really mastered whiny, hysterical backtalk. I shudder to think of how much worse it can get.
The nice thing so far though is that my daughter is funny and I can have nice conversations sometimes and share actual jokes. And when I explain things, like why so many pop songs are about sex, she’s so grateful and I feel like such an authority. And since she started middle school she’s been strangely needy and affectionate, which I’m loving. Just counting the minutes until she starts to despise me, like any self-respecting teen.
I feel it’s my duty to let you know that it gets worse yet. My son is almost 22yrs old. Every time I call him and he says he’s at a friends house, I worry he’ll have one too many drinks and get hurt. I worry and hope that I taught him how to be responsible. I worry that I didn’t love him enough. I worry that because I forced him to cry himself to sleep when he was 1yr, that now he’s afraid to open up. Afraid that no one will listen.
I worried over the summer when he called me to say that he lost his job and had to collect unemployment at such a young age. When he comes over for dinner, I worry that he doesn’t have enough gas to make it back to his house. I worry that he’ll ruin his credit with his 2 credit cards and never be able to buy his own place someday.
So, you see… Terrible twos, terrible teens, IMO were nothing compared to what comes next. The “I have no more control over what he does and can only hope I taught him well and loved him enough” adult years.
Von Kirovac says