December 1st, 2009 
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A couple of weeks ago I sent out a tweet of desperation. I asked if anyone wanted to set up a creative writing blog of some sort with me. No one answered. I got busy. And I forgot about it. Kind of. Except at night when I tried to think of great names for it.
Yesterday. I decided to visit some of my old blog friends. Friends that I never see involved in any of that ridiculously stupid drama that is atwitter on Twitter and throughout the ‘sphere. And whoa. I found what I had been looking for.
(W)rite of Passage, a Ning group created by Mrs. Flinger.
Awesome. Check it out.
I’ve been aching to get back to blogging. Real blogging. Writing. To try to get away from all this high school crap that is inundating the Mommy blogging community. I’ve also been longing to find a group of like-minded people. Where the emphasis is on writing and community. Not shit disturbing and flinging. And it’s looking like it’s right there on Write of Passage. It’s in the beginning stages being a brand new Ning group. But I can’t wait to see what happens. I truly hope that it is able to stay drama free.
I missed the first prompt sign up. The assignment was to write about an embarrassing moment. I couldn’t think of any. Really. In my adult life, I don’t get that embarrassed.
But. I thought back deeper. If I were to write about my most embarrassing moment, what would it be? Deeper, further back into my memory. There it was. Uncomfortably waiting to be remembered and…well…re-embarrassed.
It was 1989. College.
I was living off campus in an apartment. My across the hall neighbors were my closest friends. A group of 4 guys who loved to party and do goldfish shots. Gross. But it’s part of the college experience, I guess.
My moment. Oh yes. And what a moment. Happened one night at my neighbors beer keg party. I was bonging Boones Farm Strawberry Hill wine. Yes, I said bonging it. As in, beer bonging except with a bottle of wine. What can I tell you? I hated the beer they drank. It tasted like ass.
I was looking hot that freezing cold night. Wearing my Z. Cavaricci black pants and a cream colored sweater. And yes, I truly remember EXACTLY what I was wearing. My pants were probably a little too tight due to the weight gain caused by all the drinking I had been doing that semester. But I wore them despite the too-tight waist jabbing into my chunky tummy.
Anyway. He was gorgeous. Like smoking. Dark Italian guy. Black hair. Dark eyes. Sexy. In retrospect, he probably wasn’t that cute, but more on the slick, slimy side. But I was drunk and probably had those lack of focus beer goggles on.
He had his eyes on me. I, when I could focus through my drunken haze, had my eyes on him. All night.
Somehow. We ended up in my room. Fully clothed, thank you very much. But, making out. Heavily.
And I farted.
Not just a little one.
No. It was A HUGE fart. One that can’t be ignored because a)the volume of it was window rattling and b)it had to have stunk between the pizza and all the alcohol.
He left. Pretty soon after that. OK, fine. Quickly. Probably giggling and snorting as he stumbled out of my apartment.
He went back across the hall where the party was still going on. And he told EVERYONE that he was making out with that girl across the hall and man, she farted.
They. My good and wonderful friends. Of course reported back to me that they knew about my little butt explosion.
And I was mortified.
But I guess, on a positive note…had I not farted, who knows what would have happened. I mean, I could have maybe ended up pregnant. Or with venereal diseases.
Instead, I’m just left with nothing but an embarrassing memory. And like herpes, memories stay with you forever too. Only, they get less painful as time goes on.
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Thanks for sharing this! Off to check it out. I too am really trying to focus on the writing…but I admit that damn twitter sure does get you off course, huh?! Thanks for the rec!
.-= Sarah, Ohana Mama´s last blog ..I do not like white eggs with brown spots =-.
LMAO! That’s definitely one for the books…or blog!
.-= Miss Behavin´s last blog ..Thanksgiving 2009 and Corbin’s Second Birthday =-.
Hehehe…
Good one M. Thanks for the laugh. But that guy totally deserved your “bomb” cuz he’s an ass.; )
.-= Brenda´s last blog ..I heart, heart, heart Apple =-.
I farted in front of a guy I had the hots for, freshman year at Boston U. We were alone, in the mail room, just chatting. I was MORTIFIED. Still am.
Here’s a link to some embarrasing behavior that lives on to this day…..
http://www.thepeevery.com/2008/08/a-weekly-remind.html
Nice! Aren’t college memoried just the best?!?
I love to write. I’m off to take a look at that Ning group.
.-= Jennfer´s last blog ..Relief =-.
God I missed out on college fun what with being a commuting student and one who worked at that…oh and picking a rather horrid college.
nodding along at your wish for drama free-ness. is that possible with Girls? No offense but lets be honest. A bunch of girls will = Drama. Which could be why I have many guy friends. as it seems so do you.
.-= LaFlacaD´s last blog ..Ode to Queen Helene Cholesterol Gel – now discontinued =-.
just came over from mama-om. i am totally intrigued by the (w)rite of passage thing but i am also totally lost. can you talk to me like i am a little slow and explain how it works so i can join in the process? please? thank you!!! (and, great post, and i try to stay off twitter or i get sucked in which is a waste of my time so i totally hear you…)
Trust me, there are worse times to let one go. Not that I know anything about such things as going “jet propelled” during lovemaking…for the first time…while sitting on top…and you realized the chili dog you’ve shared has been shared…again. Not that I would know anything about those things. I just heard about it somewhere…on the internet…yeah…the internet.
You sure did love your Boones Farm! And, those boys across the hall sure were funny! I still remember one of them wearing retro 70′s bell bottoms pole dancing on the support pole in your apartment. Good times.
Oh wow. I just checked out that site. I’m so glad I checked my reader today. ‘Cause that’s what I want to do. Write. I don’t really want to get into the whole popularity contest aspect off all this.
Thanks for sharing.
.-= amber´s last blog ..How to Spend More Than $200 in Less Than Five Minutes. =-.
GREAT story!… truly embarassing- but everything happens for a reason… even gas lol
O and BTW I hate beer too– so I use to do play drinking games in college with wine coolers– OR … liquor– yea.. thats a hot-mess of a story for another day. I hope for my children to never be that dumb. lol
.-= complicatedmama´s last blog ..Now No Tree Lighting at Rockefeller Center? =-.
LMAO! This is my first time here and this post was just great! Will you have a nother funny story next time?
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Santa Baby… Bring Me A =-.
I’m loving (W)right of Passage. The writing has been phenomenal and the stories hilarious. Yours is no exception!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Want… Badly =-.
Oh, gawd! What a story!!
I love that you remember your outfit.
Thanks for coming by my site and commenting!
Twitter: lceel
says:
Dear Ms. Melissa,
Please check out http://theartistchallengeinferno.blogspot.com . On the 17th of this month our next challenge is due to publish – “Is Whispering Nothing?” is the challenge prompt.
Normally we do two challenges a month, in conjunction with another site, where visual artists are producing paintings, sculptures, etc in response to THEIR challenge on their site – at the same time.
Tomorrow, the 4th of December, I am putting up an interview I just did with Catherine Ryan Hyde, the author of “Pay It Forward” – the book on which the movie is based. So you see, there is much more than just writer’s challenges going on here.
“The Inferno” is a site for and about writers.
Come join us.
Lou
.-= lceel´s last blog ..100 word Challenge – Kaleidoscope =-.
Hello, I think I love you. I NEED this. This writing thing you speak of…I desire to start writing again…really writing again.
.-= Amanda @ High Impact Mom´s last blog ..Issac Mizrahi Comes to QVC =-.
Bawhahaha! Love it! Embarrassing stories are my absolute favorite to read! Keep em’ coming.
.-= Whiney Momma´s last blog ..Whiney’s case against the pregnancy myths =-.
Oh dear sweet jeebus. I feel for you.
And I fear for myself in 10 years.
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..This? Is not OK: Jersey Shore Edition =-.
Bwaaaahaaaaa haaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..Travel Observations =-.