Why Some People Don’t Deserve To Have Their Drivers License Let Alone Their Mothers Car

Once, a long time ago, when I was married to a different idiot…er husband. He was a really, really shitty driver. No, I mean it. Like, possibly the worst driver on the planet. Getting into the passenger seat was like playing Russian Roulette. Scary business. And you were lucky if you got to and from your destination with nothing more than motion sickness.

So. I had just given birth to this creature called…a girl. Well, not *just* because if it was *just* then this story would be taking place in Beaumont Hospital. But it’s not. It’s taking place a little more than two weeks after discharge (and I don’t mean the post delivery bloody kind either, for all my sick friends). I was sitting in my kitchen with my Mom, my aunt and my sister. I was, most likely, nursing a baby while my two year old was making a mess of his toys while watching “Toy Story”. My aunt came over with my mom to give my daughter a present of a Madame Alexander Degas ballerina storybook doll. She still has it and it’s on her dresser…

The phone rings. It’s my husband from his cell. He had been in a car accident. He hit the car in front of him.

While they were still driving.

Yes. He hit the woman in front of him because he was driving faster than her and wasn’t paying attention.

It was a mess. I’m not going to go into too much detail. Partially because I don’t remember a lot of it. And also, because he was a complete moron and totally at fault. He hit the woman in front of him. They weren’t even at a stop sign or a light. What kind of driver does crap like that? Sigh.

Anyways. Like I said…lousy driver. After our divorce, I was always holding my breath when he had my kids. I would exhale when they would be delivered safely home.

He had minor fender benders with mailboxes and parked cars since that incident. Until tonight.

He was leaving my subdivision after helping my son with some homework. Not five minutes after he left did I get a phone call. Yes, he called me…

He had gotten in an accident. About 5 houses away from me. He smashed into a truck that was pulling out of a driveway. Because he didn’t see it coming. A big RED truck. He was going too fast and wasn’t paying attention. So he didn’t see it. Did I mention the truck is RED? How can you NOT see a red truck??!! Even in the dark, you can still see a red truck! OK, so it probably doesn’t look so red in the dark. But it’s still BIG.

He was fine. The car basically went under the bed of the truck and the roof and windows are destroyed.

I was just so grateful that my kids weren’t in that car. Because, holy shit is he the scariest driver. EVER.

He got a ticket for careless driving. He has cuts in his hand from the glass shattering. He doesn’t have a car now. Actually, it wasn’t even his car. It was his mothers. Long story but yeah. He drives his moms car.

Not anymore.

But…my kids are fine, safe and are sleeping soundly in their beds. I am so thankful.

Because he was only around 5 houses from us, he came over. We cleaned up the scratches on his hands with rubbing alcohol. And…

My husband drove him home.

I bet my ex is going to get a big old spanking from his Mommy though for smashing up her caddy. Not only does he drive her car, he lives in the same apartment building as she does.

I know.

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