Birthdays, Diet And Taking Over The World: Another Of My Famous Random Posts

Every year, on December 23rd, I throw my youngest son’s birthday party. Every year, over half the kids we invite aren’t able to make it. Family winter vacations. Mass Michigan exodus for the two weeks of break. Lucky shits.

Sad for my son. Although, with my 9 nephews and one niece and the couple of friends with kids that don’t go away, he still ends up having a fun party with plenty of bodies.

This year though. His Kindergarten class seems pretty tight. He wanted to invite the whole group plus a few kids from the other class across the hall. Including the set of twins he has a gigantic crush on. I figure he likes both of them because they are identical and he can’t tell them apart. They’re cutie pies.

I decided that this year, I was going to try to have his party before his real birthday so that HOPEFULLY, kids would still be in town. Also, I figured…silly me…that more people would be around this year. You know, there’s a really bad economy and travel is an added expense that a lot of people are forgoing. Right?

WRONG.

So. I secured December 20th at the gymnastics place that he wanted his party at. I put the non-refundable deposit down on the time and day. Figuring that it was all good in the hood.

WRONG.

So far, out of the 18 kids I invited. Half of them are going to warmer climates. Which sucks. For my poor kid. And for my jealous streak. Because we haven’t gone anywhere over a winter break in…forever. Like, for real.

Anyway…

He’s looking so forward to his party. He’s looking so forward to spending the day with all of his friends.

I’m going to have to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to have to change the date to sometime after the vacation.

Hopefully, my non-refundable deposit will be transferable.

Poor guy. It stinks for him that I got pregnant on my birthday which made him a holiday baby.

And for g-ds sake people. If we are in the throes of a horrible, awful, terrible economy. Start acting like it! Isn’t it a birthday present more economical than traveling with the family to some fancy all-inclusive in the middle of an ocean?

So, I guess we are in the midst of a random post here.

There is something wrong with me. When I say wrong I mean…different. And by different, I don’t mean like psychological or cosmetic. I mean something internal.

I’ve gained will power. And determination.

WTF is up with me?

I don’t want to jinx it but. I’ve already lost 5 pounds on Weight Watchers. In 5 days. I’ve been walking every day on my treadmill. Despite the pain my plantar fasciitis is causing. DYING!! I’ve been counting my points like a crazy person. I’ve been kind of ignoring the fact that you get those 35 extra points because I really don’t think that is a good route for me to go down. Think tootsie rolls, candy corn and those puffy cheetos that my daughter is eating in my bedroom right now, while watching iCarly with me. I might have to hurt her.

And. AND.

I enrolled myself in college. And I’m going into the Paralegal program. Because that’s what I’m being trained to do in my Dad’s office anyways. So, I might as well become book smart and know what they are talking about when I’m told to write some letter or paper. I won’t be all like ok, with my best deer in the headlights expression. I’m really good at that. Wanna see?

Did you catch that? It was a really good rendition of that look.

Anyways. Let’s see. What else can I tell you that would fit in with my random post?

There are some serious hot dads at my son’s school. Oh sorry. THAT was random.

I’m jealous of people that are driving new cars. I really, really, really want a new one. So badly.

Sigh.

With all the broken bikes, slides, teeter-totter, play house…sitting at the side of my house. Rotting. Collecting huge spiders and dead chipmunks. Wheels of tricycles getting run over by me when I back out of the driveway. I feel like we are the major WT of the neighborhood. So dear hubby. Get. Rid. Of. The. Shit.

Note to self: Next time youngest child loses a tooth. Say NOTHING of the Tooth Fairy. Not if you don’t want a repeat of last night. 3 am is not a suitable time for anyone to be up. And 3 am is not a reasonable time to be discussing with a 5 y/o what he wants to do with the money the Tooth Fairy may leave him. It’s not a good time to talk about anything actually. But the point of this random rambling is my son and his excitement over the Tooth Fairy coming to visit him for the first time.

Oh yeah. Wanna hear something kind of funny?

So, I went to college for about one million years. Give or take. I collected a bunch of credits. I changed my major around a million times. Give or take.

Turns out. Come June. If I take the classes that my guidance counselor recommended. I’ll be walking the stage at the Palace of Auburn Hills in June, graduating with a silly little Associates Degree in Liberal Arts. Sadly, with all the time I put in, I should probably have a Phd. or something by now. But no. So many random classes. So many that I…flunked due to heavy partying.

But finally. I’ll have something to show for my couple thousand years getting higherly edumakated.

And then. I’ll go on to rule the world. That’s ok. It’ll be fun when I’m in charge.

Little hint. Start collecting seashells now.

That’s it. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be more inspirational. More articulate. More…interesting.
Maybe.

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