Tonight, when my oldest son came home from spending the afternoon with his dad, he was in a particularly pissy mood. When I say particularly it’s because his general mood is pissy. So tonight, it was kicked up a few notches.
I asked him what was up. And by asking, I mean over and over again repeating myself by questioning what was wrong, starting out sympathetic ending exasperated. With him and I sitting directly across the kitchen table from each other. And he, being a teen, has fine tuned the ignore mom trait that teens seem to develop around the age of, oh say…two.
Finally. He picked up his head, which had been resting on the table. He looked directly at me and said. “Nothing. I’m not telling you.”
So, there’s me. All…you sure as hell are going to tell me. I worked this hard to get that little statement out of you. You’re gonna spill it or I’m going to cut your hair. Trust me, the kid needs a haircut. It’s gorgeous, his hair. But it’s a mop. Seriously. Turn him upside down and there is no way to differentiate.
He ran upstairs to his room. Yeah. He’s a toughie, that one. Love him but I think I might need to smash my face into a wall.
I followed him. Because a) I’m a mom and I need to know why my kid is upset. And b) I’m so freaking curious right now.
He went into his room, climbed into his bed and put his covers over his head.
I went into his room, climbed onto his bed and tried to pull the covers off his head.
That didn’t go too well.
BUT.
He decided, under the safety of his covers. That it was OK to tell me what was upsetting. With a little prompting…fine…begging. From his Momma. 🙂
He told me that he thought my husband was having an affair because of something he found on the computer in the computers history. He wasn’t sure how he pulled it up. But somehow, he pulled up a site for men looking to have discreet relationships.
Me? I’m freaking, right!
He had found this ages ago. Well, maybe a few months ago. And he said that it has been eating him alive. Because he was convinced that I was being cheated on. And that upset him. The thing that upset him worse was, he was terrified that if I found out, I would take him, his sister and brother…and we would leave.
I told him to hang on. I’d be right back.
I went downstairs. I got in my husbands face and accused him of cheating on me. Because I act before I think. It’s how I roll. Can’t help it. My husband got mad at me. Jackass that he is.
Sidenote to you husbands. When your wife is freaking out because her child just informed her that you are having an affair. And she confronts you. Don’t laugh at her and ask her when he would have the time. Say something nice like…I dunno…why would I cheat? You give the best blow jobs this side of North America. Or…why would I want to go anywhere else when I’ve got it good here. You could even try something like…why would I ever cheat on you when I love you so much. Yeah. That’s a much better approach to a wife who is freaking out then laughing and being a general dipshit.
Anyways.
Based on his reaction, chances are he isn’t cheating.
I told my son that. I reassured him that we aren’t going anywhere. I kissed him. I hugged him. I blogged about it.
But. In the future. To all you stupid idiot husbands out there. Clear your computer history. OK? Because look. It’s one thing for you to get you rocks off on naked pictures of women with fake boobs and gaping holes that are looking to get fucked by married men.
Keep in mind. It’s a home computer. The kids use it. Which means, when your history isn’t cleared. Things pop up in the URL bar when they are typing things in. And when something pops up there that sounds interesting. They innocently click through. And find women with their legs spread wide open for married men to inspect. Or something equal inappropriate for kids to see.
Their imaginations start flip flopping and panicking. And pretty soon, they are worried sick for months that their parents are going to get divorced because the dad is screwing some woman whose vagina he saw online.
Either way. Use caution.
Clear the freaking history on your computer.
*SNORT!
I love how you storm downstairs and accuse him….I would do it…then have awesome make-up sex and then forbid him to watch crappy shit on the computer. Order a movie! Sheesh.
what’s wrong with fake boobs? I mean ummm good for you..
.-= igster101´s last blog ..Why? =-.
So well said! I would totally storm downstairs and confront too. Glad you were able to console your boy…
.-= MommyMentor´s last blog ..One Mommy’s Pictures & Review of the Belen Echandia Rock Me =-.
firstly – your poor son – secondly – poor you at first!
about a month ago my brother came down to spend some time with me and I was up all night talking to him and we were messing around on the computers and I pulled out a flash drive from my hubbies bag (I couldn’t find any others) and low and behold what do I find on there – naked pictures – man I was HOT! Here my brother is standing in front of the office door defending my husband! I was furious – but I did calm down – I deleted all the photos on the drive – but never confronted my hubbie. BUT when he goes to look at those nasty things again- he will know that I know!
.-= Tiaras & Tantrums´s last blog ..What Are You Wearing Today? =-.
men are so stupid. or they think we are. a friend of mine went on her husband’s pc because hers didn’t work and she fund all kinds of crap. seriously, that’s just dumb.
.-= Elisa´s last blog ..The list =-.
OMG!
Love a stubborn mom!! Look at all we can accomplish when we persist!
I have to go clear my computer’s history now …
Wouldn’t want my husband to get the wrong idea (-:
As a husband, I would not have responded well to that type of accusation. The way you did it would have especially turned me off and caused me to be angry. It was great that your son finally admitted his concern to you. Such knowledge can make teenagers, especially surly.
.-= Mocha Dad´s last blog ..Hair Styling is No Job for Daddies =-.
I’m guessing that’s why Google Chrome and Firefox now have “private browsing” interface!
.-= Dave´s last blog ..dave_moss: @kayleehawkins Mentoring can have a huge impact on the life of a child. Mentor Connection does a lot of good in the Oakland County area. =-.
Oh, now that’s pretty awesome. Kids, man.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Go Ask Aunt Becky =-.
Truly something that should be taught in Cheating 101.
.-= patois´s last blog ..The Weekly Wonderings #130 =-.
He’s a teacher for cripes sake… he should know this already.
What a tough thing for a kid to be carrying around with him. He needs an extra hug.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Weekly Winners ~ a different view =-.
I hate to be the only one here that says this, but as a blogger friend, I have to.
Are you sure he isn’t?
Or in the very least, that he isn’t unhappy in some way with the marriage?
I mean, why would he have the need to do this?
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..Frosty "Fotos" =-.
sounds like a total Mo Fo-
but if I know him- he adores
you-
xoxo
That should probably be a lesson to all teenage sons too – because you never know what your mother might find. Me and my sister lauged our asses off when my bro got caught that way!
Poor kid! It’s sweet but sad that he was all worried about it.
I probably would’ve handled that the same way. Rant and rave first, think later!
As the wife of a recovering sex addict, this kind of thing brings up a thousand issues and makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Yipes!
.-= Mary (MPJ)´s last blog ..Background Noise =-.
I love this post.
Last year I had a similar hard time getting my 14-y-old to tell me what was going on with him. He finally spilled–he thought I had cancer because he saw a bag of meds in my bathroom weeks ago. The samples were just skin lotion from a dermatologist whose name happened to be “Skin Cancer Associates MD” We forget how literal, and how burdened, the poor things can be.