There are all these really cool events for bloggers. Some events are local to Michigan. Others, throughout the country. Although, I’m not sure how you bloggers that get asked to all these events do it? With families? Always going on *shudders* airplanes. How do you find the time?
I’m a blogger, right? But I’m not all that very influential apparently. Actually, I have no clout at all. I don’t get invited to any of these things. I don’t feel bad though. I’m used to it. No one listens to me in real life either. That’s why my house is a mess all the time.
So I asked Twitter. Because I follow and am followed back by some of the more “influential” bloggers. I’d like to say that we’re sort of friends. Right girls?
I asked for advice on how to widen my reach.
I guess no one heard me. So I repeated myself. A little louder this time.
Help me, I tweeted. How do I become more influential and reach more people.
Nothing. Not even a RT or a bird flipped in my general direction.
All I asked for was advice. Perhaps a link on an informative article. I wasn’t pimping my posts for comments for once. I was reaching out because I take this shit seriously. And I’d be the first person to help someone else.
Really? Honestly? The only reason is because I like the idea of being invited to blogging events. Not because it would mean I’m finally popular. Quite honestly, I don’t give a rat’s ass about being in with an in crowd. The popular girls always have way too much drama and crap going on for my taste. I like my friends. I think we’re pretty darn cool in our own little clique. I want to be invited because I love blogging and I want to learn about things and report them back to you here, on my little teeny, tiny, non-influential blog. Because it sounds like fun. I need fun in my life.
But unfortunately, I don’t have huge numbers that come hang out and comment here. On any given day, I have anywhere from 200-400 visits here. It’s sporadic. And sometimes, I have less. So that makes me not very influential. Sigh.
I guess I’m kind of a blogging loser. Some of my friends see past the blogging acne and braces to see the butterfly that is trying to stretch it’s wings and emerge from the internet chrysalis.
It’s not easy though. That chrysalis is made with some material that is really freaking hard to penetrate.
I’m not a newbie. I’ve been around for over 2 years. And my blog is just kind of dangling there in blogging yoyoland. Up a little. Down a bit. Google page rank unmoving at 3. Unique visits never passing the 440 mark. Unique page visits staying around the same as well. The sad thing is, I don’t really know what any of that stuff mean or why it should even matter.
And I really. REALLY. Would like to know what to do to change this. To revv up the engine of my poor blog that is stalled in the parking lot of blogland mall.
I would love my blog to have a larger wing span. To touch more people.
Is that too much to ask?
So? Anyone have any ideas?
Or am I just destined to have pimples and braces dangling upside down in a cocoon forever?

#1 by igster101 on November 4, 2009 - 5:17 pm
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Of course, I can’t find the link now. But there have been a few twitter posts about things like being a link magnet etc. Check sites like bitrebels.com and mashable. If those don’t work let me know. At least you hae a PR of 3. I think mine is less than 0.
igster101´s last blog ..I saw this today, and it is awesome!
#2 by Melissa Multitasking Mama on November 4, 2009 - 6:01 pm
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There was a great post about what PR companies etc are looking for on the Mom Central blog today.
While I wouldn’t turn down a trip it’s not why I blog and it’s not why you do either, my friend. We just have to keep that in perspective-KWIM?
Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Being pro-active in marriage
#3 by Zoey on November 4, 2009 - 6:06 pm
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Awhile ago I came across this post at Problogger on what to do when your traffic plateaus – might be worth a look: http://www.problogger.net/archives/2009/03/06/how-to-expand-your-blog-audience-when-traffic-plateaus/
Zoey´s last blog ..NaNoWriMo – Update
#4 by Brenda on November 4, 2009 - 6:07 pm
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Sorry I’m not much of a help either coz you know I am just lowly pleb myself. Isn’t there a “Dummies” book on that subject yet. Hehehe…
Brenda´s last blog ..Proof that I am technologically challenged
#5 by Robin (rdemelo) on November 4, 2009 - 7:08 pm
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This is my first time on your blog and I gotta tall ya, I like it. I don’t have any ideas really on how to reach more people. I have actually been wondering the same thing about mine. But I’ll follow you. One step at a time, right?
Robin (rdemelo)´s last blog ..Guest Blogging Restless Mama Style!
#6 by Tiffany on November 4, 2009 - 7:09 pm
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Melissa,
I am not even sure if traffic = influence…. and it certainly doesn’t equal money.
When Allie Worthington spoke at SITScation she mentioned not focusing so much on your numbers as your “brand”- who you are, what your reach is, what your demographic is. She also talked about figuring out what your personal expertise is and blogging about that- using titles and linked words or phrases that best represent what you blog about, so those posts come up in search engines- so who you are is apparent when someone looks through your blog.
Renee Ross is also someone who got out there are made herself a presence- on twitter, on blogher, all over the place, and for her, being visible has paid off. She also spent hours and hours of time getting herself out there, volunteering to write articles, engaging in conversations, commenting on blog posts, etc.
I do believe it doesn’t happen by chance- the women who are invited to these events are getting themselves out there and have been for some time- they have introduced themselves to PR folks on twitter and jumped into conversations on GNO, etc.
For me, its been a decision of time- I have decided that for now, being a Fishful Thinking Faculty mom, running SITS and the Boot Camp tour is enough!
Tiffany´s last blog ..Featured Blogger: A Peek At Karen’s World
#7 by LizzB (@hereslizz) on November 4, 2009 - 7:10 pm
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Well, I would have totally answered you. But you are far more influential than I am! LOL! Sorry no one responded to you
I’d love to go to some conventions too. Someday…I hope.
#8 by C @ Kid Things on November 4, 2009 - 7:18 pm
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Stir up some major drama. That’s the only way I can find. And obviously one that I’m not willing to do myself, because my stats are pathetic.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Meet Stumpy
#9 by blueviolet on November 4, 2009 - 8:15 pm
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I didn’t know you were in Michigan!! Me too! I also didn’t know there were ANY blogger events being held right here in our state. I’d love to go!
blueviolet´s last blog ..From My Softer Side – W/W Wednesday
#10 by OHmommy on November 4, 2009 - 8:24 pm
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I wasn’t on twitter to hear your tweets. And nor am I an “influential” blogger by any means. However, I will let you in on a convo I had in LA. I specifically sat with the PR person in charge of the event for an hour long bus ride. Because… I wanted to know everything. How did she pick bloggers? I learned a lot.
What did I learn? They ARE READING YOU RIGHT NOW. The PR person read me for freaking MONTHS and months and read a gazillion other blogs for months. She read their twitter streams too. They do their homework.
The best advice she gave me and I give you is that you should be yourself. Find your niche and hold onto it. That’s pretty much all she said.
OHmommy´s last blog ..Driving me (in)sane
#11 by Astaryth on November 4, 2009 - 8:31 pm
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Phhhhhhhtttt! Compared to my little blog, YOU are a Rock Star. LOL! I’m lucky to get 100 people in a week…. on a Good Week! ;p
Astaryth´s last blog ..Random Cool Photo Thingy…
#12 by karen on November 4, 2009 - 8:33 pm
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melissa, I swear I dont know how you come up with this stuff, you are so funny! I LOVE YOU BLOG! I NEED MORE KINGDOM STORIES to put me nite nite! xo karen
#13 by Kami Lewis Levin on November 4, 2009 - 9:06 pm
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Who knew this unpaid 2nd job would be so damn time-consuming? I too am way less influential than you, but as I think you’re pretty and cool, maybe you’ll pass along any info you get in your quest to locate the influence. I just wanna up my readership…
Kami Lewis Levin´s last blog ..I Aim Low
#14 by Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com on November 4, 2009 - 9:31 pm
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If I had a party, I’d invite you!
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..Would It Be Wrong?
#15 by Another Suburban Mom on November 4, 2009 - 10:13 pm
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Personally I love your blog. I came to you from TheGreer5. I do think your blog is very well done and highly enjoyable.
Another Suburban Mom´s last blog ..Talking Turkey
#16 by L.A. Stylist Mom on November 4, 2009 - 10:25 pm
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Personally? I think your honesty rules, and the fact that you are unafraid to share who you truly are, causes your butterfly wings to cast huge shadows on half the blogs I read. Integrity. Cocoon-schmocoon…
L.A. Stylist Mom´s last blog ..Giveaway! Sing an Eco-Friendly Tune With Coopersong Bags
#17 by Amanda @ High Impact Mom on November 4, 2009 - 10:32 pm
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You know I love you. I actually adore you. You’re more influential than most of us out there and more importantly (at least to me) you’re real, you’re a fantastic writer, and you don’t create the drama. I’ve been struggling with much the same problems and questions myself and have started reading more blogs..expanding my reach per se.
I’m proud and honored to be your friend and a loyal reader…so yeah. Keep it up..you’re gonna get noticed one of these days..
Amanda @ High Impact Mom´s last blog ..Wordless: Happy Birthday Poppie
#18 by Mocha Dad on November 4, 2009 - 11:06 pm
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One day we will both be influential bloggers and rule the world. Or is that aiming too high?
Mocha Dad´s last blog ..Did You Hear the One About Underpants?
#19 by Melisa with one S (PH) on November 4, 2009 - 11:32 pm
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I have no advice; I’m not sure how I rate yet.
But I’m totally willing to help you and MochaDad rule the world someday..if you want the help!

Melisa with one S (PH)´s last blog ..A Nugget From Heaven
#20 by Karie on November 4, 2009 - 11:47 pm
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Here is the thing,I as your devoted stalker think you are influential. You are a voice that is heard by intelligent women. Even if in a small group, that is still influence. Like the old saying of tell one person and if you aren’t happy you tell 10! So loot at it that way too! Just because there are “larger” known bloggers what really are they known for? Some don’t even have good content, they are just elementary written diarrhea, they are for fame and fame alone.
Plus people who are not influential in what they have to say do not get an invite to be in the audience of Dr. Phil? Am I right?
Plus in perspective….look at seriously who you do have influence over….they don’t listen now….or so you think, but give them some time….they will show you they heard. Just like your audience now, the hare never won the race, but the slow and steady tortoise did. You are smart, witty, intelligent, and you write like Emily Bronte, poetic, distinguished and with passion. What is the lame Field of Dreams saying, “If you build it they will come”

Karie´s last blog ..Gifts for Kids: Sweetie Pies Kids Boutique
#21 by dysfunctional mom on November 5, 2009 - 4:33 am
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Heh. I’m proud of my maybe 50 visitors per day.
#22 by complicated mama on November 5, 2009 - 7:30 am
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How did i miss your tweets? Im always responding to you.
Funny thing is I find myself in the same situation sometimes… ill ask a question.. and nothing…. its clearly a twitter malfunction.
I love love love your blog.
I’d take your advice and pass it along to my readers and tweets ….(((You hear that PR companies??… She’s influencial I tell you!!))
#23 by patois on November 5, 2009 - 10:06 am
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I have no advice. I just figured you’d appreciate a comment!
(It’s also the big month of no one visiting anyone, so I wouldn’t bet my November traffic on anything.) (Not that I have traffic.)
patois´s last blog ..Every Day Should be Veteran’s Day
#24 by Vic on November 5, 2009 - 10:39 am
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I considered answering with ‘you stretch’ but then I was chucked off the computer. You really shouldn’t be asking me anyway.
Vic´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday: Job Venting
#25 by Joni Golden on November 5, 2009 - 11:11 am
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Okay, I will admit, I saw those tweets, but honestly, I didn’t have a clue how to respond.
I just keep writing and hope for the best… and that didn’t seem like advice that you needed, because you’re already doing that.
#26 by Tiaras & Tantrums on November 5, 2009 - 11:38 am
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okay girlie – once you have all the answers and are all uber hot and going to conferences – can I ride your coat tails??
Tiaras & Tantrums´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
#27 by carries on November 5, 2009 - 2:18 pm
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Your’e not influential? Then what am I doing here, wasting my time?
Serousy, I love your blog. If I were at all influential, I would tell everyone to read it.
On our site, writing about the Gosselins always gets massive amounts of traffiic and Michael Jackson’s kids were reliable fodder for awhile, but we’re affiliated w/ a big news site so don’t know how much that would work for other mommy bloggers.
You should also pester reporters in your area if you haven’t already and offer yourself up as a mom pundit. They won’t realize you’re not influential. Just pretend.
#28 by amber on November 5, 2009 - 3:00 pm
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Okay, so clearly, I’m spending far too much time here lately. And judging from the other comments, I’d say other gals do too. So you are influential – and I’m sure soon, you’ll get invited on one of those trips.
amber´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday: A Look Back.
#29 by @marymac on November 5, 2009 - 9:32 pm
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I was all ready to come in here and try to cheer you up but I see all your influencees have already done a bang-up job! You rock, dude. Your readers love you, unlike me you’re actually NICE, I love your tweets and your posts and seriously? Stop by my blog Saturday and you’ll see how influential you’ve been to me. I scheduled a post for Sat so I was stopping by to tell you and it’s perfect timing!
I love you! That is all. Continue rocking.
@marymac´s last blog ..I Suck Donkey Dong
#30 by Aunt Becky on November 5, 2009 - 10:39 pm
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Baby, I get invited to NOTHING. NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING.
I love you. Come to Chicago, and you can come to my house. I’ll invite you.
Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Bring Out Your Pink Patent Leather Swine!
#31 by Mommy X on November 6, 2009 - 9:47 am
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You’re influential to me…whatever that means, right? I’m sure that helps. LOL!
#32 by Jen14221 on November 6, 2009 - 1:28 pm
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Hey wait –
You got invited to that cool Nikon camera party at BlogHer – remember? With the limos and no babies allowed? You are apparently more popular than me (look at all your commenters!) and I actually won a BLOG AWARD in 2008.
I was the best blogger in Buffalo, NY in 2008.
And I have like 10 readers. And one of them is my mom. The other is my sister.
So buck up!
Jen
#33 by DomesticDebacle on November 6, 2009 - 2:43 pm
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You know, this is something I ask myself everyday. How influential am I? It would be nice to pretend that you don’t care about what others think, and only “blog for yourself” but it’s not true at all. I try to keep my reader in mind, but always stay true to myself during the process. I wonder how PR decides how/when to pick a blogger. How popular do I have to be? Bottom line, I know how you feel!
#34 by Nicole on November 8, 2009 - 9:53 pm
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Oh, I think you got your blog braces off a long time ago. And when I throw an exclusive VIP blogger event, you’ll be on the top of my super elite list.
Nicole´s last blog ..AUTUMN!!!
#35 by RookieMom Heather on November 13, 2009 - 12:04 am
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ha ha ha. I got here by googling “influential mom blogs” so that’s something. Also, in my defense, I wasn’t around for your tweet for help, nor would I have known what to say.
If you do solve the mystery, I’m all eyes.
RookieMom Heather´s last blog ..Activity #14: Model new outfits