There are some days that I beg and plead with the Blog- Post Idea Fairy to lay one smack dab on me. I summon the Funny Kid Stunt Fairy to make my kids do something, well, funny. I beckon the Life Events Fairy to make any of the daily life events…eventful.
When that doesn’t happen, I get desperate. I view things with a critical eye, focused on what can be made into something engaging to write about. Oftentimes, to no avail.
I suck at writing about how cute, dimply and angelic my kids are. Or how wonderful my marriage to my perfect husband is and how copathetic our zen-like existence is. But, I could totally make shit up. If I *did* write about that, I’d be lying and breaking the sacred commandment of “Blogging With Integrity”. And that…would be no good. The punishment of being negatively blogged and tweeted about would be swift and just. And I’d slink off into anonymous oblivion, only to start up a new twitter account and blog with a different URL under my childhood nickname that I never disclosed on my original blog.
And that would suck.
But then there are days when posts just work themselves out. Ideas flow like my period…er…like the river. Where they translate easily onto the screen and hitting publish doesn’t make you wince in pain.
Yeah. Those are good times.
Then you have days like today.
Nothing monumental happens that is even noteworthy.
You go about your mundane day. Work for a couple hours to make money to reimburse yourself for the crazy expensive Uggs that you just bought your daughter. Go talk to the psychologist who assures you that you aren’t crazy, yet keeps you coming back every other week. It’s ok though, you don’t mind talking about your life to an objective ear. Tweet. Go pick up your son early to visit the gift show at the school, only to be disgusted by the pretentiousness of the skinny parade who are all buying these ridiculously expensive fur boot cuff/legwarmer atrocities and affectedly telling each other how fabulous they look…gag. Eat tons of Cheese-Its. Poop. What, TMI? Find out the kid who left the iPod Nano in his jacket and it went through the wash, rinse and dry cycles, rendering it completely useless and it was originally supposed to be yours in the first place…got it somehow replaced for that child’s careless and irresponsible self. Then, you stomp your feet, cross your arms over your chest, humph and wonder what the point is in trying to teach responsibility in the home. But you aren’t *really* allowed to talk about it because it pisses people off. Which, pisses YOU off even more.
And you want to smash your face through a wall. But that would be completely pointless.
Yeah. Those are the days that there is absolutely NOTHING to blog about.
So then there you are, back to the drawing board. Staring at the blank post screen, cursor blinking and waiting to be told what letters to display, in the administrative area of your blog. And you are hoping and waiting for a fairy to sprinkle magical blog posting dust…oh, wait…
If I waited for the Great Blog Post Fairy to come, my blog would be very, very empty.
For someone without anything to blog about, you sure write up a fabulous non-story. I need to know more about the Great Blog Post Fairy.
“I suck at writing about how cute, dimply and angelic my kids are. Or how wonderful my marriage to my perfect husband is and how copathetic our zen-like existence is. But, I could totally make shit up. If I *did* write about that, Iād be lying…”
There is nothing. I repeat, nothing, worse than a false portrayal of “perfect” and “zen-like” when nothing of the sort is true. I’ve done it before and it’s dirty.
Real is rad. Being made of fabric in a plastic world is admirable and interesting.
This was excellent!
It comes in waves for me. I’ll have a few days or a week when it’s flowing and then the whole next week I struggle like crazy!
Sometimes? The shit days are better blog fodder.
Just sayin’.
I like when you rant about not ranting….ha
You are human….that’s why we blog…good and bad, TMI and not enough info….
we are here for you!
Spoiled children who aren’t taught responsibility grow up to be spoiled, irresponsible adults with a sense of entitlement. Shame on those who enable a second generation of irresponsible people! One (as in anyone with common sense) would think that “they” would’ve learned their lesson after the first go-around. Perhaps it’s a control thing?
Frankly, I like your blogs about “nothing;” as I liked Seinfeld, which was about nothing. Your writing is entertaining…when it’s not about my parenting. š
ON days like that…I just read other blogs instead of posting. But…….your “nothingness” ended up in a great post.
The Great Blog Post Fairy. That is why I hate her.
That is life. and it is good
great post
Trust me you are not the only one who has felt this way. You said exactly what I have felt many times.
@RantRaveRoll
You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself! You wrote a post about nothing – but it turned out to be something! This reminds me of Seinfeld… my all-time favourite TV show of all time. A show that really is about nothing but is still brilliant.
We all have our days! Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Uggs guilt and shrinks. I had both today! Didn’t blog about them, but I’m glad you did.
What you don’t have perfect children and a perfect marriage? I’m stunned, I just didn’t know.
I personally like when you blog about procreating frogs in your pool and MILs you adore š
I can write 10 posts in one day.
And then not have a single idea again for 2 solid weeks.
Yeah. I need a blog fairy.