Snuggling in bed with my kindergartener, reading Little Critter books and chatting, my son puts his arms around me and hugs me hard.

Him: I’m going to marry my mommy.

Me: Little boys can’t marry their mommies, silly. Little boys grow up and marry little girls who grew up.

Him: No. I’m going to marry my mommy. So we can lay in bed and make out and make sex.

Me: What. Did you just say?

I starting internally freaking. Thinking, what the heck is going on that he would say something like that.

Him: Mommy, it’s not a bad word. They say it on Family Guy.

Me: Where else have you been hearing this?

I ask him gently, kissing his forehead. I don’t want my fears to give him guilt.

Him: Besides Family Guy? A tells us at school all the gross stuff about girls and boys.

Me: Do you know what this stuff means, my love?

Him: No.

Me: Making out is kissing. And “making sex” is when a mommy and daddy give each other a special hug and it makes a baby.

I felt I had to say something about it. To let him know a little bit about what he is saying. What A is teaching him and his fellow kindergarten classmates. He was embarrassed.

A is a little girl in his kindergarten class. At five, I fear she has already had a tough life.

As badly as I feel for her, I don’t want my son’s innocence taken away. Not yet. Not in kindergarten.

I will be talking to his teacher. Hopefully she will be talking to her father.

Because I didn’t expect to be explaining what sex is to my son while reading Little Critter books.
Not at 5 years old.
Not in kindergarten.
It made me sad. And REALLY angry.