My son’s kindergarten class made a book for Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The assignment was for each child to draw of picture of something he or she was sorry about.
I'm Sorry...A Yom Kippur Class Book
I am sorry for pushing Evan down the steps
This was one of the contributions that was made to the book of “I’m Sorry”. This child was sorry for pushing his brother down the stairs. Concerning? Yeah, a little bit.
I'm sorry for hitting Ross
This was another child who apparently hit my child. She was remorseful, apparently, and wanted to apologize. By the way, no one from the school ever told me that a kid had hit my son!
There were others who were sorry for biting and pushing and pinching and yelling. All were of a common theme…aggression. Which, is quite normal behavior for a kindergarten child. Or so I’m told.
But then comes my child and his picture
I am sorry for drawing pictures of killing someone
Again. Aggression. But he was not actually apologizing for himself. He was apologizing for drawing a picture of one of his action figures killing a bad guy. In fact, to be precise…Wolverine is portrayed here by a long claw and the bad guy in question…Magneto, the other figure on the page.
And guess who got a phone call from a concerned mother?
Yeah. Me.
Apparently she feels that my son needs to be evaluated.
She had also witnessed a end of the day tantrum, by my son, in the classroom. I’ll bet it wasn’t pretty but it was because I had gotten there early to pick him up and he saw me from the playground. He wanted his Mommy!
I spoke with my son’s teacher. She told me he is fine and to not be bothered by what this mother, who meant well, advised me to do.
She also said that, perhaps, she shouldn’t have included that picture in the book. Because, despite the fact that she knew he was talking about action figures, other parents wouldn’t know and would be a little disturbed.
But really. Shouldn’t they be a tad more uneasy about all the biting, pushing down stairs, hitting, kicking, smacking that these children are doing to other children? Potentially dangerous behavior.
Action figures can be thrown down stairs, stomped on, stabbed with plastic swords and smacked by another action hero. They’ll be ok.
I think the parents that need a phone call is the one whose child is pushing his sibling down the stairs?
Or the kid that bit MY son!!!
Seriously! Was she the mom and of the potential fratricide perp?
GAH.
The only time I have called another parent or spoken to another parent is when her son touched my then=preschool daughter’s crotch during class. THAT warranted a phone call – beyond that – I let the teachers do their job. I don’t get involved with what doesn’t concern me or immediately jeopardize my kid’s safety, health or wellbeing.
I bet she’s a helicopter parent.
At some point, kids have to be allowed to be kids. Biters? The first time a Biter gets an elbow in the teeth will be the last bite. Sometimes, the best teachers for children who need to learn what unacceptable behavior is, is other children.
Sometimes, just SOMETIMES, mind you, I wish FATHERS were as involved with school and schooling as Mothers are. I think there would be far less plotzing.
Wow. I’m actually more concerned about the idea of having little kids create an I’m Sorry Book for Yom Kippur than what’s actually represented in it. What an awful idea. It’s like a bunch of grown ups got together and decided to inject the kids with as heavy a dose of Jewish guilt as they could. How can we make these kids feel bad? Well, let’s see what they’re “really” sorry for…And then, let’s make it public and hand it out to every adult they know. And then, we’ll teach ’em the art of self-flagellation followed by how to determine which of them is the most fucked up, based on their entry into the I’m Sorry Book. And then…we’ll point fingers at each other and laugh. Not with but AT.
Great activity. (the educator in me is cringing.)
People always judge what they don’t know and they don’t live. They jump to conclusions and assume you are “that mom”….you know, the one whose kid is the next Jeffrey Dahmer. I’ve already experienced it some in my just over two years of motherhood. I’ll never forget when the day care teacher was looking at me dead serious after my little guy bit 5 kids in one day at age one and was like – what are we going to do about this? I was dumbfounded….what the hell do you want me to do about it? Bottom line (and you don’t need me to tell you) – you’re fine, your kid is fine and if he is moving toward remotely being a serial killer, I have every confidence that you will get him help. The world is just full of assholes who think they know better than everyone else. Hold your head high and let them whisper.
Kami,
You have a GREAT point. Agree 100%.
Are you kidding me right now? They actually made an “I’m Sorry” book for Yom Kippur and then made COPIES and GAVE THEM OUT to all the kids?! SERIOUSLY!?!
Wow. So they were first forced to come up with something that they’d done “wrong” and then confess it on paper, then share it with everyone and their mother (quite literally). I agree with Kami….*cringe.*
Personally, I’d be pleased that the WORST thing my kid could come up with some drawings of violent action figures. You rock. That parent clearly needs to understand that there is a time to contact another parent – and this was not it. She was simply being pushy and nosey, IMHO. You don’t call up a parent b/c you see their kid from a distance, without any insight, and advise them on their parenting practice. She’s lucky you didn’t push her down the stairs…or bite/hit her…then apologize for it. So there.
The kiddos that drew pictures about biting, pushing and the like were completing the assignment. Kiddos often use physical means to accomplish something that their young minds aren’t able to form into words or are quick to respond physically due to normal immaturity. While you were not told that Ross had been hit at school is something the teacher may not have known about at the time and if she had it may have been a very minor incident that didn’t warrant concern on the teachers part.
As a parent I understand your concern, but I also understand how the parent that reached out to you felt. Hopefully she was sincere in her approach to reach out to you as another mom. Some parents don’t always see everything that comes home and things get easily overlooked. I imagine you felt uneasy about her inquisition and hopefully you had the opportunity to view Ross’ picture before this phone call. I am sure it caught you off guard. Did you explain to her what it was really a picture of? I do not know anything about Judaism but I feel awful that Ross was made to feel guilty about drawing a picture of Super Heroes battling. Even if the drawing wasn’t depicting his action figures he should feel free to express himself. Sorry this is so wordy and lengthy…good grief! I should revise LOL
Well, darling, come on. We all know it’s only a short step from drawing action figures murdering each other to someone committing wholesale kindergarten slaughter.
Whereas pushing siblings down the stairs is just normal family dynamics.
Right?
(You know I kid, right? Sarcasm out the wazoo? Actually, you probably do, but I don’t want all these other commenters who don’t know me to start telling me that I need therapy or something.)
I’d be concerned about that mother. Life with her is going to be difficult.
Do me a favor and send me some passwords please. I have vampire stories to read!
I’m a Jewish religious school teacher (as you know, PH!), and even if I had thought that a book like that was a good idea (I don’t), I would have changed my mind after I got the drawings from the kids and scrapped it all.
What I do in my 2nd grade class (did it Sunday!) is have all my kids (and I do it, too) write down (or draw) something they are sorry about, and then they all (and me) take turns coming up to the front of the room where I have a recycle bin. It’s their option to share what they wrote out loud OR NOT, and then when they are done sharing (or decided not to), I have them crumble or tear up their paper and throw it in the recycle bin, like a Taschlich service: getting rid of their “sins” so they can move on and decide how they’ll be better people.
A more fun book for a religious school teacher to do is to have all the students draw their idea of God. THAT’S entertainment. 🙂
I’d have that mom evaluated for not knowing when to mind her own business. Any therapist would tell you that its great for your child to have an outlet for feelings of aggression – if he draws it, or acts it out in play, he’s probably not going to push a kid down a flight of stairs. Man, that is some Bette David shit in All About Eve.
Oh my stars, seriously? I’m with Nicole up there- WHO needs to be evaluated here??
They’re kids, and BOYS for crying out loud.
I bet they’ll never do that little holiday exercise again! Man, that’s nuts.
X
Supa
I agree. What an awful assignment. And the kids were so honest! In a few years, they’ll probably be white washing all their confessions to avoid the scrutiny of the guidance counselor. Drawing a picture of killing someone actually seems kind of healthy. It’s not like he drew a picture of burying the neighbor’s cat in the backyard.