He has been a shithead of epic proportions today. The king either woke up on the wrong side of the bed or he was pms’y. Because damn has he been a miserable serf.
And today, of all days. It being Yom Kippur at sundown. The day of atonement. Oh wait. Maybe that’s the deal. He figures he should be a horses ass for the last stretch of the day and then…repent, repent, REPENT.
But let’s back it up at bit, shall we?
Weeks ago, one of the Kingdoms largest Temples. The one that the Royal couple and their royal ducklings belong to. They invited the King to participate in the last service of the Yom Kippur High Holy Day. The one where they do something or another with the Torah. Well, please excuse the Queen…the storyteller of this post, even though she is Jewish…she is clueless.
The King was giddy with excitement. After all, he IS the king. He SHOULD be in the service every year.
While the Reigning Queen Supreme was on the west coast for some big business, the King went to rehearsal to learn what it was he should do and say.
He. Was. Excited.
His portion of the service was attached with a magnet to the royal Kitchen Aid fridge. Every time he passed the refrigerator, he would gaze upon his part, storing it in his memory. He had his part down pat. Flawless.
So back to today.
The Kings big debut at HIS temple. On THE big holiday of the year.
He was an asshole. All day long.
Really, asshole is a generous word. But, this is a family site. With new visitors finding their way here daily. The Queen wouldn’t want to turn anyone off so early on in their perusing.
Finally, it was time for the King to get ready. He got his suit and tie on. Spiffed himself up, ready to knock ’em dead in the house of worship.
He sneered and growled at everyone else in the castle, because no one was joining him in this hour of repentance. And no one really cared that he was reciting from the Torah. I mean, let’s be honest, we live with him. We have no desire to hear him mumble in front of a live audience. We have better things to do like go on Youtube or Twitter. Duh.
The King, furious, stormed out of the castle.
He slammed the moat door.
He screeched out of the castles driveway.
And zipped angrily off down the street towards the Temple. All the while, swearing and reciting his portion. Cursing his family at their lack of belief and memorizing his part in his little recital.
About 45 minutes later, the Queens cell phone rings.
It’s the King. He is angry. He is cursing. Just like he was when he left.
It seems, you see, that the King. He had the day wrong.
He wasn’t supposed to be there until tomorrow, Monday. At 5 pm. The idiot had the absolute completely wrong day.
Oh goody, thought the Queen. He’s going to be an major asshole again tomorrow.
The Queen. She sighed.
Yom Tov and a Happy New Year to my dear friends.