In a span of under 48 hours, I grabbed my fear of flying by the silly proverbial balls, squeezed, hyperventilated and took my various assigned seats on four different airplanes. None of which, by the way, crashed. Lucky, eh?
I had time to think. Seeing as the minute people touch their tushies to the seat that doubles as a flotation device, they become deaf mutes. No one wants to engage in conversation. Or, at least not the majority of the *someones* that I sat next to. Books and magazines are brought out of bags. Earbuds are placed directly into the ear canal, where they grow roots. Personal DVD players, iPods, mini-computers…ANYTHING that keeps someone busy so that they don’t have to talk to the people whose elbows they keep smashing with their own. Perhaps pleasantries are exchanged for the brief moment that the plane is taxi-ing on the runway. Hi, I’m so and so from such and such. I was in *insert name of state visiting* for a convention/birthday/wedding. *smile* And then…turn away. Invisible physical barrier force field engaged. *shrugs*
Fine. Be that way. I’ll just talk to myself. I’m probably really much more fascinating anyway.
Yesterday, after my little 15 seconds of fame on the Dr. Phil show, I sat on the airplane and obsessed about it. Both flights. 5 hours worth of obsessing. And no one to talk to about it except for one of my personalities, Helga. Oh wait…that’s a different post…:)
It was an amazing experience. The whole thing. From the flying by myself, to having dinner with my wonderful friend Jessica and her adorable children to the whole Dr. Phil experience.
I loved it. But I expected something different.
I expected to have a conversation, on stage, with Maria Housden and Dr. Phil. I was floored when that didn’t happen.
When I was called on to speak, my brain got constipated and I squeezed out something that I GUESS I had been fixated on. But it wasn’t what I had wanted to say to Maria. But that’s OK. Because we found each other on Facebook and we can talk there. I look so forward to that.
I also expected to hate her. After all, I’m living and breathing her aftermath. I’m raising two kids who, for all practical purposes, were left by their mom. How could I not despise a woman who leaves her children. Right?
I found out, in my little conversation with Helga (see above, in case you were skimming this post) that it is really and truly possible to be drawn to someone despite certain differences. And our difference is a doozy whooper. I’m on the opposite end of a spectrum from Maria. I will never, EVER understand how a mother can leave her children. Period. No matter what dream you have and want to follow.
But…I found that Maria was an amazing, well spoken, kind, gracious women.
And I liked her.
I did. You can close your mouths. It’s OK. She isn’t a monster like we had thought, my friends.
I was thrilled that she met me at the top of the stairs by the dressing rooms after the show had been shot. I only wish we had a few hours to sit and chat but I was preoccupied and in such a hurry to get to the airport that I could barely mutter out a grunt.
But that’s OK.
I think she may have read my post before I was asked to take it down. I’ll put it up again when I get the green light from the Dr. Phil show. Or, I may rewrite it to update it. There are still so many things that I didn’t get to say. And still so many things that I didn’t get to ask. I will though.
It is amazing though, that things never go the way you expect them to.
I mean, look at me, for example. I expected one of my four planes to crash. AND. I totally thought that I would have been repulsed by this woman who I expected to be a pompous beast.
Neither of those happened.
I’m very much alive and telling you to watch the Dr. Phil Show where my new friend, Maria Housden is on stage speaking with such eloquence and grace with Dr. Phil, regarding why she decided to choose to leave her children. And I’m in the front row having a really loud brain fart.
But Helga said we look really pretty.