In a span of under 48 hours, I grabbed my fear of flying by the silly proverbial balls, squeezed, hyperventilated and took my various assigned seats on four different airplanes. None of which, by the way, crashed. Lucky, eh?
I had time to think. Seeing as the minute people touch their tushies to the seat that doubles as a flotation device, they become deaf mutes. No one wants to engage in conversation. Or, at least not the majority of the *someones* that I sat next to. Books and magazines are brought out of bags. Earbuds are placed directly into the ear canal, where they grow roots. Personal DVD players, iPods, mini-computers…ANYTHING that keeps someone busy so that they don’t have to talk to the people whose elbows they keep smashing with their own. Perhaps pleasantries are exchanged for the brief moment that the plane is taxi-ing on the runway. Hi, I’m so and so from such and such. I was in *insert name of state visiting* for a convention/birthday/wedding. *smile* And then…turn away. Invisible physical barrier force field engaged. *shrugs*
Fine. Be that way. I’ll just talk to myself. I’m probably really much more fascinating anyway.
Yesterday, after my little 15 seconds of fame on the Dr. Phil show, I sat on the airplane and obsessed about it. Both flights. 5 hours worth of obsessing. And no one to talk to about it except for one of my personalities, Helga. Oh wait…that’s a different post…:)
It was an amazing experience. The whole thing. From the flying by myself, to having dinner with my wonderful friend Jessica and her adorable children to the whole Dr. Phil experience.
I loved it. But I expected something different.
I expected to have a conversation, on stage, with Maria Housden and Dr. Phil. I was floored when that didn’t happen.
When I was called on to speak, my brain got constipated and I squeezed out something that I GUESS I had been fixated on. But it wasn’t what I had wanted to say to Maria. But that’s OK. Because we found each other on Facebook and we can talk there. I look so forward to that.
I also expected to hate her. After all, I’m living and breathing her aftermath. I’m raising two kids who, for all practical purposes, were left by their mom. How could I not despise a woman who leaves her children. Right?
Wrong.
I found out, in my little conversation with Helga (see above, in case you were skimming this post) that it is really and truly possible to be drawn to someone despite certain differences. And our difference is a doozy whooper. I’m on the opposite end of a spectrum from Maria. I will never, EVER understand how a mother can leave her children. Period. No matter what dream you have and want to follow.
But…I found that Maria was an amazing, well spoken, kind, gracious women.
And I liked her.
I did. You can close your mouths. It’s OK. She isn’t a monster like we had thought, my friends.
I was thrilled that she met me at the top of the stairs by the dressing rooms after the show had been shot. I only wish we had a few hours to sit and chat but I was preoccupied and in such a hurry to get to the airport that I could barely mutter out a grunt.
But that’s OK.
I think she may have read my post before I was asked to take it down. I’ll put it up again when I get the green light from the Dr. Phil show. Or, I may rewrite it to update it. There are still so many things that I didn’t get to say. And still so many things that I didn’t get to ask. I will though.
It is amazing though, that things never go the way you expect them to.
I mean, look at me, for example. I expected one of my four planes to crash. AND. I totally thought that I would have been repulsed by this woman who I expected to be a pompous beast.
Neither of those happened.
I’m very much alive and telling you to watch the Dr. Phil Show where my new friend, Maria Housden is on stage speaking with such eloquence and grace with Dr. Phil, regarding why she decided to choose to leave her children. And I’m in the front row having a really loud brain fart.
But Helga said we look really pretty.
I’m so excited for you, Melissa. I am so so so proud, too.
I can’t wait to get home today to watch it!
CANNOT WAIT.
I bet you were gorgeous, AND fabulous!
I have it on schedule to record! I can hardly wait!
I’ll have to TIVO it. Lovely, isn’t it? When your expectations are turned upside down?
I’m so proud of you because I know how hard it was for you to get on that plane.
I’m taping the show today.
Oh, and can I call Helga? I think I love her.
i’m recording it wahoo!
I already had a chance to watch Dr. Phil’s show, The Reality of Motherhood, as it aired this morning in Ohio.
I thought Maria was dignified and graceful in the sharing of her story. I’ve read her story, many times before, but to hear her speak it, put it into words, in such an eloquent manner – was profoundly courageous.
The way her daughters came to her defense in their taped piece spoke volumes. Obviously, they don’t feel cheated or abandoned. They appear to have quite a bond with their Mother, and feel extremely protective of her.
Decisions like this never come easy. It’s gut-wrenching, initally. It may be the best thing, at the time. BUT, the pain? It’s always there. Even when you know deep within your soul that you did the right thing at the right time for your kids because you love them and want them to be happy.
It’s a personal choice and each situation is different. I believe we should be receptive to the fact that there is more than one way to mother our children. In Maria’s case, she did as a non-custodial Mother, what many men refuse to do as non-custodial Fathers. She was present!
sweet, so when does it air?
Will you post a youtube clip?
This post made me smile!
You did a great job, PH, and you looked gorgeous to boot! (always a bonus when you have brains AND beauty! 🙂 )
And I’m so glad that you have a new friend. It’s our differences that make things interesting, no?
Yay you!
I wonder when is the ep gonna air in Oz? Hmmm…probably next year. Heh!
Very nice. I think it’s awesome that you made a connection with someone who, from a distance, seems so different. Reminds me a bit of this comic.
http://xkcd.com/438/
I’m glad your journey was safe, and I’m glad you had fund. But you didn’t kick Dr. Phil for me.
Can’t wait to see your NON-SUCKAGE appearance on Dr Phil!
FWIW, I tend not to talk to people on airplanes because I don’t like flying. I am not trying to be rude, but I do better when I withdraw into Jack’s world. It is just easier for me to be quiet.
Although I must admit sometimes it is fun to make up a story about who I am. Kind of like blogging that way.
I will tell you yet again that you did great. I was disappointed that you didn’t get more air time. They gave very little time to your side of the coin. But in the time you had, you spoke from your heart with passion. And I am proud of you for that! I don’t necessarily completely agree with you, but I’m proud of you and I think you’re awesome! Can I have Helga’s autograph?
Great job! 4 flights & you’re ALIVE! Told you that you could do it! Don’t doubt yourself. You are stronger than you know!
I guess it must’ve been shown yesterday in the Detroit area because I just checked the tv schedule & I don’t see it for today or tomorrow. Guess I’ll have to wait for repeats.
I know without seeing it that you & Helga were wonderful! Congrats!
Wow, I have only flown once in my life. If I go to blogher from all the way over her it should nip that in the butt.
I am sure you looked wonderful!
When does it air?
This is your first nip at fame, you have many more times to come and I know you will improve with each experience!!!
Big HUGS to you and Helga!!!
Way to go. Helga must be proud of you!
Hey, even if it didn’t turn out exactly the way you thought, it turned out the way it was SUPPOSED to. Perhaps you gained some understanding of another’s opinion or what have you. “as long as you learned something”…
Great post, as always!
B
Yay you! Flying, especially alone, is my biggest fear, too. So glad you managed to get through this – and 4 planes, too. Wow. Do you think this has lessened your fear of flying now? I’m sure you did just fabulous on Dr. Phil. I didn’t get a chance to watch, so you should totally put up your segment here on my blog so I can see it! xo
Well done you! When is the episode airing then? I’m sure you were amazing!!
I fly about once a month for work and every single time I am surprised when I don’t crash. I guess that’s one way to face your fears – have a job that requires lone air travel all the time. UGH! Aside from that, I’m excited to see the show. When you get a link, please share it. I don’t know how I could possibly like Maria, to be totally honest. But that’s coming from me – a kid who was abandoned twice by her mom and 30 years (2 years) later has to constantly blog about it as a form of self-therapy. I admire your courage. I would probably barf in Dr. Phil’s face and forever be known as “the woman who barfed in Dr. Phil’s face.” XO Good job, kiddo!
I watched most of the show on Wednesday before I had a chance to read this post, so I was confused as to why you weren’t on stage either. But, I’ve never watched Dr. Phil before so I didn’t know if that was his format or not.
Either way, cheers to you for standing up for what you believe in, for getting on the show, for looking great and sounding great. Extra cheers for making friends with this woman. We can learn so much from our enemies or those we oppose as they can from us.
I really enjoyed the show and believe it or not, it gave me some food for thought applicable to my own life.
Sounds like you took on two distinct challenges with the grace and eloquence of a very strong woman. And that, my friend, rocks. You go. Watch ’em drool, babe.
Hey Melissa, this has nothing to do with anything you’ve written about, but considering your husband works in the school systems, I’d appreciate you reading my post today and letting me know what your thoughts and/or feelings are about this.