My daughter is home sick. Well, I’m not really sure how sick she really is, but if her breath is any indication of a sore throat then she has a really, really bad sore throat. No temperature though. Anyone have a gas mask I can borrow? A small nose plug? Or some really, really minty toothpaste? But please, just don’t let her breathe on me.
So, we are sitting on the couch. I have my laptop. She is on my husbands. The television is on. And she is large and in charge of our viewing (dis)pleasure, handling the remote like a guy.
And I’m shocked. Not at the way my daughter handles the controller, but at the horrendous choices that are wasting our air time. Not that it is such a precious commodity, eh?
First of all, I’ve never watched John and Kate. Well, not for longer than a second or two. My daughter loves the show. So I sat and watched a little of it with her.
OMG. What a fucking bitch (Kate, not my daughter). And John, honest to goodness, he must be a wuss to have put up with her for as long as he did. Who does she think she is? Because she birthed a litter of babies, is the only reason for her fame. After that, really, she has nothing interesting to offer to television. Nothing. Although, having 6 or 8 babies at once really should not be a claim to fame. John…he is sort of a douchebag. Hey wait, maybe they were the perfect couple after all? They could rename their show The Clan of the Bitch and the Douche-bag.
She makes my teeth curl. I want to kick her. Hard. In the shin. And him, I’d like to give him a titty twister except with his balls. Is there an expression for that?
I love the new Burger King commercial with Eric Estrada and his sunglasses…ESTRADA.
Viva La Bam? Seriously? So just about anyone on the planet, if they have money, can have a television show. No matter what? Note to self: If I ever win the lottery, I want my own television show. I think my life would be more interesting than John and Kat and Bam and various other stupid daytime shows.
What is this world coming to?
No wonder I stopped watching television after my last baby. Because the only good daytime television viewing is A Baby Story. But I can’t watch that if I’m not pregnant. When I’m pregnant, I sit and watch that show with tears streaming down my face. When I’m not pregnant, I want to yell at the moaning women and tell them to shut up and push already. Yeah. Sorry, all you pregnant ladies.
Television sucks.
Except for True Blood, of course.
But that’s nighttime television.
And at night, no kid is allowed to have remote control dictatorship, no matter how bad their breath smells.
FYI…yes, we have more than one television. But only one on the main floor. And being the wonderful mother that I am, I just dealt with the vileness that television has to offer. But yes, I made sure to complain a lot. Because that’s what my children do to me when they are stuck watching what I want to watch. 🙂
What?! Bam Margera is on my laminated list…the things I’d do to that tattoo’d body, I tell ya. Viva La Bam is lame though, I’ll get on board with that.
Both Gosselins are douches. I seriously have no respect pussies like Jon, loud mouths like Kate or couples like that in general. She’s a selfish bitch, he took up the ass for years – I can imagine their sex life was very…scheduled and missionary…hell, I don’t blame the guy but can’t handle him in the media in his Christian Audigier and partying – ugh…makes me sick.
I agree tv sucks!!!!!!!!
OH YES!! Tit for Tat. Turnabout is fair play. YES!!! Go MOM!!!
Holy Crap!! My reader actually displayed a new post quick enough that I was actually first.
I can die now.
Poor baby………….
I guess I should be happy I only have a teen boy at home who wants to watch car shows when he’s home sick. I can’t stomach much that is on TV today.
OMG. I LOVED A Baby Story. Like you.. I can’t watch it without being preggers..and THAT sure as *cuss delete* ain’t gonna happen (salt over shoulder). The drama! The tears! Now THERE’S real drama for you. Not like that KATE and that hair of hers. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with the HAIR Kate. Thanks for the post. Really. Best thing that’s happened to me alllll day. Oh. Wait. On second thought..the best thing was when the CHILD blew chunks on the Persian Carpet.
haha, plus it was good blogging material. 😉
I haven’t seen that new BK commercial yet. Hum – have to look for it. Remember when BK meant British Knights? Ok, maybe that was just me. Um, …..oh… and um…. *shuffles around, eyes on the floor* … I haven’t gotten that baby sign book yet. Maybe it hasn’t been sent yet? Eh-hem. Just wondering……
” They could rename their show The Clan of the Bitch and the Douche-bag.” Funniest shit ever.
I don’t watch much TV either. I watch The Office and 30 Rock. Used to watch ER until they ripped it from my heart and stopped the series. We also watch SNL and Family Guy. Anything else on TV generally steals my IQ points minute by minute.
I’m pregnant, and I still can’t watch A Baby Story. No need to freak me out of what lies ahead already.
As for John and Kate. I felt the same way when I saw my first and only episode. I tuned in for 10 minutes and couldn’t take Kate anymore.
Hope your daughter feels better soon.
I’m sorry that your little girl is not well. I hope she feels better soon. But don’t wait too long to take her to the doc if it doesn’t improve.
Thank you for the television synopsis. I have enough vicarious TV watching through you to last me another 8 weeks.
I’ve never seen the Litter of Children show, but you have confirmed what I have suspected from reading headlines (not even the news stories).
Yeah, kids should never be allowed the remote control.
Dude. Kate makes me want to punch my ovaries.
Ok Im not saying Kate isnt a bitch, buuuuut I think I would be a bitch too if I 9 kids, one of whom doesnt follow directions and causes chaos within the ranks. Example:
Kate caught hell for arguing with Jon that flip flops were not for outings, only for home and insisting sandals be put on them…. I only have one kid and if she has on flipflops while we are out there is a 40 percent chance we are coming home with one flip and no flop…x8
Some of her bitching I personally believe was because he wanted to take the easy way out and she knew if you spend two extra seconds per kid buckling a pair of shoes you will save an hour of looking for shoes later.
I agree, he is a total douche.
Hope your girl is feeling better, or at least that her breath is fresher :).
Our TV has been hijacked by the kids as well…the only thing I really get to watch is So You Think you can dance, and Mad Men (when the kids are in bed). I was also not a fan of J & K – I think I saw maybe the first couple episodes of the first season when all was sweet and nice … now look where they are. I feel sorry for the kids, the parents have become such a disaster as a result of all this…
The Baby Story – I used to watch that religiously during my maternity leaves, but never when I was actually pregnant. Weird, eh? Maybe that was a good thing.
Hope you’re well, Mel, sorry I’ve been MIA…
I’ve only watched Jon & Kate a few times because I can’t stand her either.
Wow. If her breath is that bad, she has a erally bad infection, probably strep.
It is so funny you mention the Burger King commercial. My sister & & were talking about that Sunday & laughing our asses off! ESTRADA! Oooh & I can’t stand Carrot Top either!