There are times the King has a tendency to be a raging dickhead, for what seems to be, no apparent reason. The Queen, however, is able to control her inner bitch…mostly. But when the King becomes a major anal gland, the Queen becomes more like a demonically possessed witch. Think the Exorcist, complete with the head rotation and foam from the mouth.
The last few days, the Kings big dickishness and the Queens big mouth have been coming to blows. And no, I’m not talking the oral sex kind. Fighting. Vicious words. Dirty looks. Hand gestures. It’s been…tense. Too much togetherness, too many bills, too many kids.
Yesterday was no exception in the Kingdom. Even with a nice little soiree, complete with lovely guests, good food and delicious red wine, the Queen was still shaking with anger and frustration. It was due to the fighting and the King arriving ONE HOUR after the guests had already arrived. The Queen, who had already been furious at the King due to harsh words, was FUMING. And believe you me, the Queen holds a grudge. Even at bedtime. The Queen can turn her back and go to bed angry. She’s bad ass like that.
When the few royal guests left, the King and Queen got the kids ready for bed. Then they turned in themselves. School was starting the next day and everyone needed to get some refreshing sleep.
The King read a book.
The Queen researched airfare for her trip to Vegas that was coming up in October. And goddamn it’s so expensive.
Suddenly and without warning the King spoke, breaking the ice of silence, because Queen certainly wasn’t planning on ever speaking to the King again,
“I’ve been thinking about having sex with you all day.” He said, resting his book on his chest and peering over his bifocals at his wife. Giving her “the look”.
The Queen gave him a look of her own, her head may or may not have rotated on her neck but her eyes certainly glowed, and replied “Are you fucking serious? Because all I’ve been thinking about is taking you to the guillotine!”
Long story short, they may…or may not have…had sex anyways.
The Queen however, thought it was quite annoying seeing as she had been pissed as hell at that asshole…er…quite perturbed with her King. All. Day. Long. And all she could think about was off with his head, and she didn’t care which one. And all the King was thinking about was where he was going to stick a particular head to get it off.