I start something. And I never finish. I completely stop. And thanks to my friend at Charming and Delightful and the post she wrote yesterday, I’ve been thinking about this subject. A. Lot.
It could be the middle of a conversation. A crochet project, which I have bags full of started purses, sweaters, scarves, blankets. A diet. You name it. I start it. And I stop it. It doesn’t matter. I have a hell of a time finishing, if I even get that far.
I don’t know if I’m a quitter or if I get overwhelmed and don’t know what to do once I start something. Which makes me give up. I really couldn’t tell you. I think it’s a combination thereof. Aside from my wide ass, it’s my least favorite characteristic. Physical or otherwise. Because it makes me look inconsistent. And it makes me seem a little flaky.
I start everything out with the best intentions. Really. I fully expect to see it out until the bitter end. But, one thing I’m consistent about. My inconsistencies. I’m the most inconsistently consistent inconsistent person that I know.
I started crocheting these gorgeous bags. And I lined them in the most beautiful fabric. I started an Etsy store. I hung out at Etsy in the forums. And then…I quit making these bags. I had to charge way too much. As pretty as they were, they didn’t sell. So I gave up. And I have TONS of them laying around my house. Maybe I should do a giveaway.
I start every fucking diet on the planet. I get frustrated after a couple of weeks. Because it’s not quick and instant. Or I fall off the wagon for a minute. So I give up. And then I eat out of frustration.
I didn’t do consistently well in school because of how easily I gave up. Especially if I didn’t “get” the subject immediately. I’d tune out of school work and tune into my walkman cassette player.
I started a project a couple of years ago called Project Lovey. And I got overwhelmed and gave up. But it was a terrific idea. And I looked like an ass. Because I was so gung ho on it. I got a bunch of my blog friends into the idea. I started a blog for it. We were going to collect and make bags for kids in homeless shelters of things they would need to call their very own. And pfft. Just like that. Because I took on too much by myself, I let it drop. The whole damn thing. But I still have the blog that went along with this idea. Project Lovey. Yeah. That was a great idea.
I can’t believe I’ve lasted this long with a blog. Really. I’m surprised that, amidst all the frustration of it not being in the exact place I want it to be, I still write it. And that I even had the personal audacity to start a review blog. And to take on a couple other blogging projects that I’m passionate about.
Don’t think I haven’t thought about quitting the whole blog scene. Sometimes it’s a fight of the devil vs. the angel. Those cute little critters that hang out on my shoulders. The devil is telling me to fuck it. My blog will never go further than where it is now. The angel is telling the devil to shut up because it’s something we’re passionate about and it doesn’t matter. But when I tell how many times that devil has come super close to convincing me to hit the private button and give it a LONG rest. WOW.
It’s easier to give up than fight. Period. For anything. And the suck ass thing about me. I give up.
I don’t know how to change this about myself. I don’t know how to, suddenly after 40 years, come up with that stick-to-itness that seems to come to others so easily.
I want to crochet these gorgeous items and be able to sell them on etsy.
I want to lose weight and get into shape.
I would love to start Project Lovey again.
I want my blog and my new project to be successful.
I want to tell that Devil on my shoulder to go to hell and leave me alone with my Angel that whispers to me all the things I need to hear.
I’ve wish I could conquer this little personality flaw.
But I’ve given up.
And I don’t want to give up.
managed chaos says
From what I know of you (from your blog and twitter) you are NOT a quitter…hang in there…take a deep breath and keep plugging away at what you love and want. (And yes, I should be taking some of my own advice myself.)
If you like, I can give you an occasional kick in the ass to keep you going… 😉
Let the love part take over and let the stress part go. Just do it because you love it.
Um. you are NO way a quitter, but I totally understand your frustration or starting and stopping. You need to start doing projects so I can buy them on Esty so I can use them in my photography!!!
If you look at all the things you want to do collectively, I imagine that would be pretty overwhelming. But if you took one thing. And gave yourself the time to make it happen, would it make a difference? I don’t know, because I have the same problem (obviously), but maybe baby steps is the way to go… Just a thought.
I totally feel you on this. I am guilty of it too. I always feel so driven for something only to watch it fizzle before my eyes. Don’t beat yourself up, most people struggle with the same thing. And you do tons of good things. Just look at the way you are pushing your blog forward and networking and getting bloggers together! That is huge!
Yes! Babysteps, that’s the way.
The Experiment was that way. Everything about him. (Apparently including relationships?) In fact, it’s the reason I know so much about online promo, indie music and all that. Wherever he’d get overwhelmed I tended to take over until he decided to go back to it.
Blog because you want to, not for the stats. Heck, stop looking at them. It’s not the end all be all. If you dance like no one is watching, you’ll let go and be more free. If it isn’t something you enjoy then let it go and pursue things that make you happy.
The biggest lesson I learned this year is that life is way too damned short.
If I can ever help YOU with any of your projects, I’m more than happy to.
Scary Mommy says
I could have written this post. Word for freaking word!
Tara R. says
You are in good company. I have more jewelry projects sitting waiting to be finished, Christmas presents undone from two years ago. I think life happens and we get distracted by being pulled in so many different directions.
You are NOT quitting blogging. Sorry, not allowed.
I think you need to pick one of the other projects – the one you’re most passionate about and start with that. And then find another blogging/IRL friend to hold you accountable. Not someone who will let you slide, but someone who can partner with you and keep you focused and motivated.
Look at me acting like I know what I’m talking about! (I’m the same way as you, so you can totally ignore me if you want.)
Lastly, you can totally send me one of your gorgeous bags! 🙂
Lizz B (@hereslizz) says
I have tote after tote of “hobby” stuff I never got into. Knitting. Sewing. Half finished crafty thingies. I hear ya sister.
Sadly. I know…if it weren’t for the interwebz, I would probably be an awesome seamstress, knitter, housecleaner chick. Time sucker.
I’ve got the same affliction. =(
I’ve got bags and dresses that I’ve been *meaning* to sell on Ebay. I’ve already sold a few. I just to move my lazy bum into action again.
A friend of mine tweeted this yesterday:
“Procrastination is like masturbation, it feels good in the beginning but in the end you know you are just screwing yourself”.
LZ @ My Messy Paradise says
I’m with you! I feel like I’m starting some new hobby or interest or plan every day. One day it’s ‘knit a sweater’ – I start it and then never pick it up again. Then it’s ‘get in shape’ – I workout of a few days and then stop. Then maybe ‘cook better and more often’ which I do until we’re running late and I don’t have time to make something decent for dinner…it’s always something.
I’ve found that shutting my laptop down instead of closing it helps a lot…sadly. how can something so fun be such a hindrance to living my life?
She who knows says
Try doing one thing at a time, and stick to it. After doing that, go onto the next. You are probably getting overwhelmed by having to do to much. Things never change. Also, keep a calendar, duh. Also, you have 4 children that should be helping.
oh, I hear you girl. I never used to be a quitter, but since I became a mom I seem to have morphed into one. What the heck is that??
I’m the same way. We just don’t have enough time in the day to do everything we want to do or think we should do. Take it easy & try to do 1 thing at a time. Not easy for all of us superwomen when we think we can do everything all the time! LOL
The Father of the "quitter." says
Love of my life–
You can control your life, or you can let your life control you. If you have a plan, a schedule, something to give organization to your world, you will find time for everything. Instead of trying to do everything all at once, you do one thing at a time, and for a limitied amount of time. That way, you won’t exhaust your enthusiasm.
I tried to give you some tips, so that you could take control sooner than it took me to do so, but you would not even listen or try. Perhaps, now that you are a grown up and a mostly mature young woman, it might be worth revisiting it again. It is not difficult, and once you see how simple it is to develop a plan and a schedule, it is quite easy to follow.
Also, try to decide for yourself which of your interests is a passion and which is only a hobby. Some things actually give you pleasure doing, and the pleasure is the stimulus to keep on doing it. Some things are mild diversions to be toyed with, put away for a while, and then revisited. You need to prioritize for yourself, because your interests are personal, and so the priorities are personal.
Disorganized or not, I am still your most devoted fan.
I’m a quitter, too. It’s horrible. I can’t do anything right! 😉 Seriously, though, I start and finish projets all the time…I will never learn.
Hey, e-mail me because I need a new bag and can’t find one I ‘love’ in the store. I’ll buy one of yours if they aren’t too big or too small. I can’t find a medium sized one I like in colors I like, but if you’re in for selling one, I’m in the market for buying.
P.S. – I love the new site.