The girls came home from camp today. My daughter had “the best time”. After all that shit and heartache, she had the best time. I’m so glad!! And I’m so relieved.
I ended up not taking the laundry to a pay per pound laundry joint. I did it myself. *Pats self on back* But holy shit, there are some funky looking daddy longlegs over in that there neck of the woods where their camp is. And, I found out as I was squishing one in horror and repulse, that the legs move even when they aren’t connected to the body. Fascinating. And quite disgusting. Quite curious, actually.
Oh. And don’t mind me, folding all this laundry as you drop off your son, run up the stairs, kiss your daughter, and go back to the serfdom. Really. It’s OK. I don’t need your help. You’re welcome. Now shoo…
Have you ever seen that movie with Nicholas Cage called “Knowing”? It sucked. But I was up all night. Because now, officially,I am in possession of another worry thanks to that movie. Solar flare ups. Let me say it again…Solar. Flare. Ups. BIG ONES. And there is no way we can protect ourselves. The movie itself wasn’t that scary, except I don’t recommend watching it late at night, especially if you are a wimp and a wuss like me. It didn’t even make that much sense. It just kept me up all night. Worrying. About the what ifs and omg what a horrible way to die type, typical fretting that goes on after watching extremely realistic movies. Yeah. Not to mention that aliens come and take all the kids before the planet becomes annihilated by…a HUGE, ginormous solar flare up.
To my darling, wonderful internet. And to Firefox. Both of you can bite me. HARD. In the ass. Thank you. And I’m calling Uverse. Because you both blow chunks. Between the dial up-ish like connection of my internet…SBC or AT & T and the crashing of the suckage that is Firefox. So long, farewell.
I’d like to give a shout out by name, to all those who helped me when I needed it. When I Tweeted, asking what steps to take next after starting up my review blog called Fairest Of All. Thanks to Kelly @ Childhood. And Erin from Things Moms Like, who I emailed separately. And…um…hmmm…gee. No one. It really makes me wonder why some of the bloggers have such a bad reputation. Note to self…never be like that. Share the knowledge. Not that I have any. But still.
Oh yeah. I started a review blog! Because I needed more stuff to do online. Actually, I started this blog back in January and never pursued it. It’s called Fairest Of All, The Good, The Bad and The Fairest. I know, it’s a killer name, right? 😉 I started it because I like the idea of reviewing things. I do! Isn’t that nuts???
When will my 5 1/2 year old son wipe his own ass. And when will my almost 14 y/o son wipe his ass better?
Starting tonight, the bedroom door must be kept shut. Not necessarily because we’re going to have sex tonight. But, we might. It is Thursday. BUT…now the girls are home and they love eavesdropping on us. We might also have to keep the television on loud. On the porno channels, just to throw them off a bit!!
And lastly, just for good measure. My thought on one more little thing. Aw, c’mon. You know you love it when I think!! Angelina Jolie and her nursing sculpture/statue…is THE most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. What the FUCK does a city need with a life sized statue of her, her boobs and her babies? I don’t get it?
Now I’m going to go stomp on the rest of the bugs that I pull out of the girls luggage and finish up the last bit of towels.
Then, I’m going to sit over by the pool, close my eyes and hope for no solar flare ups today because that would definitely be a buzz-kill to the girls homecoming!!
I’m glad to hear your daughter had a good time. Never underestimate the ability of teenage girls to bring the drama, huh?
Speaking of spider. My 4yo’s fake crocs got full of sand at the beach, so I left them out on our deck (for a couple weeks). When I went to get them (because I couldn’t find his other shoes), they were covered in what I thought were cobwebs, but turned out to be actual spider webs with a real spider. That didn’t die when I ran the shoes under water to dislodge the webs and lived in my sink for an entire day until I emptied the dishwasher and reloaded it with the dishes he had been calling home in my kitchen sink!
Ew!!!!!
I’d be annoyed if my kid made me think she was having a horrible time and she was not.
Glad the girlies are home and that your daughter survived camp, and that you did too.
Solar flares? Seriously? Maybe one will melt Jolie’s statue.
You started *another* blog? Where do you find the time! 🙂
And I have not heard about this Jolie statue before… what the ??? I have no words!
Oh yeah, and I’m so glad your daughters are home safe and sound and had a great time!!
I’m so glad she had a good time after all that! And you didn’t get attacked by an scary bugs.
I definitely think the city desperately needs MORE boobs on display. I mean, really, who can disagree with something like that? ESPECIALLY Angelina’s? Who DOESN’T want to see them?
I know I do. No, really, I WANT to see them.
I want, every day, as I pass by, shouldering (several) bags, plus that stupid Donna Karan bag I thought would be good but turned out to be a black hole of a bag that I can NEVER find my cell phone in, so I end up holding it, leaving my one handed all the time… yeah, while I’m juggling all of that, plus thinking: speaking of juggling, SHOULD I have worn a bra, or is this shelf-bra cami really doing the trick?
Cuz, you know, it’s KINDA hot…
THAT’S when I want to glance up and see a beatific, larger-than-life, perfectly sculpted set of beauties – really big and perky – maybe stiffly casting a shadow over my wilting head, nurturing beautiful brass babies.
That’s when I’ll think of my own babes, moaning about how they want an iPhone, thinking to myself: how much trouble would I be in if I cast THEM in brass?
Don’t you think we’d ALL be inspired by that?
The sight of someone richer, more plastic-surgeried-to-be beautiful than us (on the outside), who can adopt more babies (and hire more nannies), marry more Brad Pitts than us…
… Hey, you know what, really, such a statue would make me think, as I walked by it every day?
That the rest of us, who in reality, though we NEVER may be cast in brass, and set up on a pedestal for all to gawk at?
We probably touch more real lives, make FAR more of a REAL difference, than any secluded superstar ever will.
Melissa: I bet you all the brass in the world that the bugs you stomp, the laundry you fold, and the husband you fuck ALL matter MORE to WAY more people – and definitely WAY more to ME – than BRASSGELINA ever will to anyone.
You rock out loud, girl.
Your elizabeth.
ICKY! When JuJu and I lived in Middleofnowhere, OK we had daddy long legs EVERYWHERE. I even squished one with my shoulder while I was sleeping. I don’t even want to know how many of them I swallowed while sleeping. Anyway, I wanted to see Knowing but ya know I had a baby which means that I can’t do normal things like go to the movies anymore. I love the apocolypse. Doomsday scenarios fascinate me. Maybe I should write a blog about it.
Omg I so wanted to see “Knowing” … thx for the heads up on that one. I always watch a movie and think it’s something that can happen and start obsessing big time … Like one of my favorite movies: Independence Day w/ Will Smith! I’m like, how the hell are we supposed to compete w/ these evil son’s of bitches!
And that movie that’s due out “2012” about how the world is going to end thanks to the Mayan calendar … What the fuck is a “Mayan calendar”!! and why does THAT calendar dictate when the world will end and shit … What makes their calendar so much better than my cute Anne Geddes calendar!?
Oh … and how does one protect oneself from a solar flare-up … I’d like to start preparing now, thankyouverymuch! 🙂
Please let me know when your 5 year old starts wiping his own ass and then let me know how you got him to do it. I am so tired of wiping asses that aren’t mine!