I think I may have lied a bit last night.
The guy who was hanging out to the right of me at the Dave Matthews Band concert. He asked me what I do. I said, without hesitation and without blinking, I write. I. Write.
He didn’t take that as my final answer. He asked me what I write. And I hesitated. With slight embarrassment I responded, I’m a Mommy Blogger. But then I quickly added the fact that I’m not your average Mommy Blogger. Because I’m not. I write about more than what goes on in my home. So that makes me different, right?
But I am. A Mommy Blogger. I’m a mom. I have a blog. That automatically sticks me in what is quickly becoming a pigeon hole filled with negative connotations.
WHY?
I love being a Mom. I love blogging. So why should it be looked down upon? It’s an amazing and creative outlet.
There are a few bad seeds out there. But that happens everywhere for everything. Unfortunately, the rest of us may get the backlash for those who chose to behave in a very distasteful, disrespectful and un-blogger-like way.
But we aren’t all like those women who bribe. Who elbow. Who bruise. Actually, most of us aren’t.
But the PR people. Not all of them behaved any different. They fed the frenzy. And now the smackdown is being thrown down.
Seriously.
The PR. The bloggers. You need each other.
The products need the voice.
Some of the voices MUST have the product to survive.
This sponsored vs. unsponsored. Who cares. Everyone has their thing. Their purpose for blogging. Their purpose for promoting.
Let’s not get into a Revolutionary War about it.
That’s where it seems like it’s headed.
The Great Sponsored Divide.
I’m Switzerland.
I don’t care either way.
You want to be sponsored, then be sponsored. Just disclose. Just be forthright. If it sucks, tell us. If it’s awesome, tell us. The public is relying on a truthful evaluation.
You don’t want to be sponsored. Right on. I’m not. I still have a loyal friendship/readership.
But one way isn’t better than the other.
There is no right or wrong.
Unless you start talking shit.
About other bloggers. About the PR companies.
Because, quite frankly, from a Mommy Blogger who isn’t quite a Mommy blogger…
You all look kinda immature and pointless.
Both the Bloggers AND the PR peeps.
It’s a huge blogosphere. GINORMOUS.
There are tons of blogs.
There are tons of PR Companies.
Let’s all get along so that I can say with pride and some uncertainty, that I’m a MOMMY Blogger. Because really, I don’t know what else to call myself. So stop making me embarrassed.
K, thanks.
MWAH.
I actually wrote a post about this last night and the day before. I think that we need to remember why we do what we do and who we do it for. I write for me, and no one else. I wouldn’t object to someone giving me free stuff, but I think there are some lines you should draw with yourself, because well, we didn’t start writing for the freebies. I’m really hesitant to be labeled a mommy blogger, because I don’t like all the negative connotations that it seemingly has now. I think it’s also important to remember that just because we’re moms and we have a blog doesn’t always make us a mommy blogger. People like to put us in a little box, and sometimes that box just doesn’t fit.
Everyone seems to be writing about this lately b/c it’s totally taking over our lives (our Blogging ones anyway, and if you’re me, that’s pretty much your main one!). And I don’t like having my life taken over, not by kids, not by dirty laundry, and not by blog topics I don’t hardly give a crap about anyway (although I wrote about it too since I was hated on about it). I like free stuff. If it’s useful stuff I’ll accept it, I’ll write about it, and I’ll tell everyone who reads my blog that it was awesome or it sucked and that I got it for free, so there. You shouldn’t have to feel embarrassed, because you’re awesome. I hate how other people and their blackouts and their integrity (or lack of it) are taking away from that. Booo, sucky bloggers. Boo.
Oh I hear ya… there are some things that interest me, but my blog is my blog. I finally decided to set up an individual site for the more commercial kind of stuff, and we’ll see what happens. I have a few things to give away on it now, but .. it will always be separate from MY blog. And why do we have to fight? Can’t we all just sit nicely and sing kumbaya?
Greetings from SITS! Liked your post – it was interesting. You know, I don’t have a single purpose for my blog. I guess I’m a random blogger!
(Plus it’s easier on my hands than writing in a journal)
I’m always afraid to get pigeon-holed (like you said) into some weird niche. I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees the silliness out there.
I agree with you – each individual (blogger and PR company) has to do what is BEST for them. If you want to write reviews and do giveaways – absolutely do them. If you aren’t comfortable in that arena – no big deal. If you want to be sponsored and a brand/PR firm wants to work with you – go for it.
And disclose. If we ‘blog with integrity’ as many are suggesting, the ‘Great Sponsored Divide’ just might disappear.
I agree! We all need to do what we like to do and do it with integrity. But having said that, there is no need to bash others because we wouldn’t do it they way their doing it. If you want to have a black out, do it! If not, that is okay too.
We just all need to remember behind the blog is a real person. A real person with feelings. We teach our children how to respect others, we should do the same.
Good read Melissa. Thanks!
Love this so much I wish I had written it.
Awesome.
I heard another woman use a GREAT term this weekend – she called herself a “life blogger”. EXACTLY. I am a Mom who blogs…sometimes about my kids, but I’m realistic. Its all about ME. And that? I’m OK with.
I think this was said PERFECTLY, coming from someone who isn’t a mommy blogger at ALL. sometimes, i think the reviews are too “in your face” or too non honest about the product itself, so most of the time, unless it’s someone I know and love, I don’t read them.
I don’t know if there will ever be a day that I will do reviews (aside from the lone sex toy HAH!) but if I do, I will be very cautious about who and what I deal with.
Excellent post, my friend!
LOL! I’m LMAO b/c this is so freakin’ crazy…lets push and shove our way to the Swag table so we get a free this or that…in the end the people you are pushing and shoving will be there for you…they are your friends/fellow bloggers. The companies will find other bloggers to promote…there are thousands out there. I promote what i’m passionate about and refuse to promote a product I don’t truely care for or have not honestly tried. Honesty is your best policy…dude turn on iCarley…all about being sponsored…LOL
Good post! I agree wholeheartedly!
xoxo
Yes to disclosure. I’m all for people earning money and getting free products for promoting it, as long as it’s disclosed. I also don’t want it shoved down my throat, but I really didn’t feel that way at BlogHer AT ALL.
I seem to recall a while back groups of “mommy” bloggers giving PR companies public spankings over their bad and impersonal pitches.
And now some of the same mommy bloggers get all up in arms when karma bites them in the ass and the tables are turned? That’s rich.
Where was the integrity when they were creaming PR companies, publicly scolding them for their crappy behavior? Now mommy bloggers are being publicly scolding for a minority’s bad behavior and, well, we’ve seen the drama over THAT.
I’m conflicted about the PR blackout thing in particular. I began “mommy blogging” in April. I love writing and I love getting in on conversations with other like-minded bloggers. But what I wouldn’t give to be able to quit my day job (that I really do love) and blog full time! I mean the amount of time I spend tweeting, blogging, reading blogs, etc is HUGE and the prospect of getting paid for it somehow is extremely enticing. That said, as a self-proclaimed moralist, I find blogging without integrity shameful. Bloggers (mommy or otherwise) who are simply conduits for product PR should perhaps be called something else, like Online Reviewers or Product Critics or something that clearly separates the blog about pushing tangible nouns from the blogs about idea and thought nouns. As I said to Mom101 recently, PR is not the enemy, people. Selling out is.
It’s your space, if you want to rent out space that’s your prerogative, but yeah, full disclosure when you are reviewing something for pay. If you don’t like reading review blogs, then don’t. At the same time, don’t abuse someone who does. You’re right, there’s plenty of bloggy space to go around… to each their own.
Great post!
I don’t think everyone should be lumped into one category. Categories have never really worked for anyone from school age to adults.
I totally agree! And I’m one of those bloggers who hasn’t delved into the PR scene as of yet. I have had my reservations and after hearing about the full on scrimmage taking place around the swag….well it didn’t set well with me.
I have nothing for or against either stance. If you are going to do it, how about a little intergrity? How about a little tact? How about a little hand holding and Kumbayah, yo.
Love this post!!!
and I loved your hair at Blogher! 🙂
I’m joining you in Switzerland, m’kay?
Great post! Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Oh so true. Theres nothing wrong with being a mommy blogger. Especially not if it’s something you enjoy doing. We’re just as awesome as any other blogger, perhaps even moreso ^_^
HA! Yes, stop the embarrassment.
On another note, Dave Matthews rocks!