But Pigs Aren’t Kosher, So I Don’t Have To Worry About The Swine Flu

2 duffel bags per daughter, jam packed full of the items on the camp check list. And maybe some items that were sneaked not on the list.

Bags, dropped off by my husband at the camps rendevouz point. They are taken out of the trunk, tagged and loaded into a bus to join all the 2nd session campers bags.
They will be taken up to camp tonight.
Placed in their assigned cabins.
And the bags with all of the belongings will await the arrival of the campers to be relieved of their burden.

This is the way it’s been for the last couple of years that my daughters have gone to this particular camp. It’s always been the same routine, never deviating.

This year though. One thing is different. It’s a whole new step in the learned routine. One which speaks volumes of the sign of the times…

This evening, upon returning home from bag drop off, my husband tossed an official looking envelope at me.

Trying to raise an eyebrow, I opened it. I was assuming I had forgotten to fill out one form or another. I curiously took out the contents of the envelope while looking for a pen that worked.

What I found was more surprising than anything. A note informing us parents that we need to arrive on Tuesday, between 7 and 8 am. We need to be there in plenty of time to have our campers checked in. And this is where I got a little…panicky worried…

We must go to a “temperature station”, where our children will have their temperatures taken. Because, it seems that there has been a massive H1N1 outbreak throughout camps.

Keep in mind, I’m NOT a neurotic mom, unless my children are already sick. Then I stand over their beds (and they are NOT babies) and make sure they are breathing.
I’m NOT a germaphobe. I don’t worry. Not about illness. Maybe about kidnapping or nuclear war…but NOT about my kids getting colds or flus.

This letter has made me a tiny drop nervous. Just a little.

Now, I know it’s precautionary.
I know that the H1N1 is NOT as horrible as once thought.
Both my girls already had the flu. One ran 105 for two days.
But they were here.
At home.
For me to take care of them.
For me to stand over their beds to make sure they were doing OK.
I did the piggy-backing Tylenol-Motrin thing.
I threw my daughter in a bath of tepid water to keep her already high fever from getting out of control.
But they were here. At home. With me. Under my watchful mommy eye.

Even with the letter, simply stating that parents should not send their children to camp with a cough that is suspect, a fever or sore throat. How do we know that some of these parents, who perhaps have made arrangements to take a tour of the Mediterranean, while their children are conveniently deposited (sick) at camp, and they don’t want to lose their costly cruise money…
How do we know that they aren’t doping up their kids on cough suppressant and Motrin, and that a getaway car isn’t waiting for them to make a break for it after the “temperature station” stop.
Because that’s how parents roll in my neck of the woods.
And if my daughters get sick from their kids
And my 3 1/2 weeks of not worrying about getting caught having sex are ruined and they have to come home sick from camp.
I’ll be so mad.
Yeah. That’s how I roll in my neck of the woods.
Except…
Maybe my kids camp will be spared the H1N1.
Because, originally it was called the Swine Flu, right? Except, people were getting their panties in a bunch over pigs getting a bad name. Even though police are called Pigs, too…whatev…
Anyway…
My kids are going to a Jewish camp.
Jewish camps are Kosher.
Pigs, however…are not.
So therefore, it’s all good.
Let’s just hope there is no new flu outbreak, like of chickens or mad cows…

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