I’m 40. Since March. It snuck up on me like a cat creeping up on its unsuspecting prey. It pounced. And it took me down.
I’m back up.
I’ve shaken myself off.
Put band-aids on my boo-boos.
And I’m OK.
Shaken a little. But no longer stirred.
It only hurts if I actually think about it. But seeing as I’m too obsessed and pre-occupied with other things (think BlogHer and Sitscation), I should be fine, if only for another 6 months when I become officially…in my 40’s. OMFG!
Really. Some incredible changes have happened to me. Nothing physical. I didn’t wake up one morning incredibly thin with perky boobs.
These changes are taking place and more noticeable on the inside.
And really, only by me.
I’ve realized that, yes…I am quiet. But no, I’m not that shy girl anymore. The one who can’t really look you in the eye. I’m not standing off to the sidelines so much.
I blush still. But it is what it is. I’m not embarrassed or uncomfortable by that anymore. Finally.
Another thing is, I don’t care. Things don’t bother me the way they used to. If someone doesn’t like me, I’m confident enough to know…it’s them. It’s not me. I’m not offended or upset anymore. I can walk into a room and not give a rat’s ass what people are thinking about me and it’s not even meant in a bitchy way. I just HONESTLY, am so OK with myself that it’s so OK what opinion you have. It’s SO liberating!!
My mom used to always say to my sister and myself, it doesn’t hurt to ask for what you want because the worse thing that can happen is, they’ll tell you no. And you know what?! It’s so right! And I’m starting to live by this. How else are you supposed to get what you want? Let me tell you, this goes across the board, for EVERYTHING. Including my husband…hubba hubba. And for things with my blog. Who else is going to take care of me and my kids if I can’t open my mouth and take care of things myself!!
Let’s talk about the sex at 40. I think, because of all the other changes, it’s become even more…SATISFYING. Not that, since we’ve gotten married, it’s ever been any different. Actually, since around age 35 it’s been wonderful. And it keeps getting better. Which makes me, um, want it more. And if this is considered T.M.I…oh well. See my second point…I don’t care.:)
I’ve learned to say what’s on my mind and stand true to my convictions. Without worrying about offending anyone too badly. After all, it’s my mind and my convictions. I do happen to have a sense of decorum, especially in person, and I know how to read the crowd I’m with so I can thought and verbally filter myself. I LOVE that I’m able to say what I mean and mean what I say…and it is AWESOME!
And I have to say. While 40 is a very daunting number to me. I’m enjoying the certain emotional freedoms this new life decade has enveloped me with.
But if I find ANOTHER fine line around my eyes, someone will HAVE to pay…