It started out innocently enough.
A few girlfriends meeting for dinner and drinks on a Friday night.
We met up at a place in Northville called Bravo. I had never been to this particular little area. It was a mecca of yummy restaurants. An Irish pub, a very fancy steak house, the Italian restaurant we were at and so much more. So cute! I can’t wait to go back and check it out more.
Anyway…
It was your typical, run of the mill Girls Night Out.
A few friends, sitting around a table. Some drinking, all eating, everyone laughing.
HYSTERICALLY.
I’m not sure anyone knows how it happened.
How the conversation went from silly and took turn at the corner of vile and disgusting.
But it did.
And holy CRAP, you should have all been there.
*Insert warning here* If you get squeamish from any type of bathroom talk, then I promise I won’t be insulted if you don’t read the rest of this post. Go read archives. Or maybe you should just come back tomorrow. Mwah. See you on Twitter? XOXO
*whispers* are they gone?
One of us started it, for sure. Not sure which one. I’ll blame her *points in random direction*
Suddenly, we were talking about “the time that the URGE attacked”.
The time that the URGE made a sneak attack at an unsuspecting Mom. It was during a walk with her new baby. The URGE. It was too strong for this new Mommy. Sweating from the exertion of walking and fighting the good fight. She couldn’t hold the muscles together any longer. Her will and resolve, beaten down. And slowly…she accepted it, and let The URGE overtake her. And as she finished her walk up her driveway, she was spent. The only thing she could do was hand off her infant to her husband and run upstairs to dump her dump into the toilet from her pants.
Suddenly, another piped in. She had a similar incident.
That URGE. It attacked her at Target. She was too busy shopping to pay too much attention to the warning signs. After all, it was only two miles to get home. She thought she was stronger than…The URGE. She got into her car. Headed in the direction of home. It was only two miles, she thought…sweating and panting to herself. Then, she got stuck behind an old biddy who seemed to have forgotten which was the gas and which was the brake. The URGE. It got too strong. And while she was driving the 2 miles an hour, heading the 2 miles towards home…she lost her fight. The URGE won.
And she pooped in her car. Alone and humiliated. And dry heaving and gagging from the stench.
The URGE.
It pounced on her. During a power walk. It became a power battle between good and evil. Bladder vs. Mind. But The URGE. It’s a strong, strong entity. One which, even those that have the Force on their side can’t always control. And she left a trail of pee going up her driveway as she power fought and lost to…The URGE.
It kept on coming.
The URGE stories.
The laughter.
The potty talk about dingleberries and toilet paper schmutz left on the toilet by our husbands.
It was so wrong, our entire conversation.
But no. Not really.
Because one thing we noticed. A common theme, if you will.
It happened to ALL of us. All 5 of us. At one time or another.
We had to face The URGE.
We may have been alone during our battles with The URGE.
But, we ALL had our war stories.
And as vile and disgusting and HILARIOUS our retellings were…
It was such a relief to know that it was normal…ish.
In the end, knowing that we weren’t alone in our embarrassing memories,
Made it that much easier to laugh about it.
And laugh…hell yeah we did.
Laughter is totally the best way to deal with this. Well, laughter and Depends.
I can’t say I have ever pooped my pants, but I have been close. And, you never know what will happen at BlogHer.
Well.. I’ve never pooped my pants before…
But I can relate to this post in the sense that a group of ladies can often find something unspeakable to chat about amongst themselves… especially after a few drinks 🙂
I’m just gonna say thiso. There’s something about target.
Let’s vow to one another that what happens at BH stays at BH. Cause that GNO is going to be crazy!
Oh lordy. Really? You have?
Now, growing up where I did, I gotta say–I really have no problem with just pulling over and using the nearest bush. In fact, in college I became renowned amongst my friends for being the only one who ever had a roll of toilet paper in her car at all times. Which really came in handy for those spontaneous camping trips when no one thought about that little detail.
I hope the waitress got tipped.
BIG.
:-}
Let me just say that after 4 kids and pushing them out naturally each time, my bladder is NOT what is use to be. I drink a glass of water and I’m running like a ninnie, legs crossed, holding myself cause I NEVER get a warning – I just have to go THEN.
At least it gets a good laugh from the kids when it happens, but sometimes I feel like my roomie needs to be the porcelain god since it and I have such a close and intimate relationship of late.
I may I tell you that I had to pee right after this post!
Just about to go out for a girls’ night. I think you set the tone quite nicely.
I have no Urge stories, but am now thinking I need to drive over to your side of the state because it sounds like y’all have fun.
Clearly I’m going to the wrong GNO’s, because we talk about nothing but sex! 😛
We’ve got to come up with an “URGE” sign for Chicago… mind you, I think we’ll be too busy peeing our pants laughing through it all ;).
You’re too funny!
I don’t think we’ve ever had that conversation.
It’s mostly talk of sex, wienermobiles and um, well we talk about sex a LOT. In fact road trips with K and Su include a 6ft inflatable penis and porn.
I’m pretty sure this is my life story. I have control issues since my oldest was born 8 almost 9 years ago. My body is traumatized and hates me. I need a lifetime supply of depends. Sigh.
You are hilarious! Can’t say I’ve had this URGE problem, but sneezing lately has wreaked havoc on my bladder.
I never ever thought I’d have URGE problems … but combine having a gall bladder yanked from your body with fibromyalgia, and yeah …
Yikes …. Thankfully I’ve never lost the battle out of the house. But inside my own home is another story all together.
hilarious! i’ve had the urge too, luckily i’m always able to suppress it until i get to the nearest toilet bowl. It’s no meat feat though! The tingling sensation is something you can’t really control… Can’t say the same thing though for my bladder…let’s just say that it’s not as cooperative anymore…lol.
Hysterical.. though I have never had it happen to me (yet).. poop talk is always funny.. 🙂
Isn’t it hilarious how those things you thought you’d never talk about with another person…once you do, you find out that everyone else has their own experience, and everyone else was feeling embarrassed? What a fun night that must have been. A great stomach work-out for sure!
Lolli @ Better in Bulk´s last blog post ..Moving On