It’s summer in the Kingdom.
The air is warm. And humid. Sometimes too warm and too humid.
The sun is shining brightly. Making it warmer. And more humid. Unfortunately, our Reigning Queen doesn’t enjoy going swimming because of a hair color disaster at the beginning of the school year. And a few extra pounds makes for a beached whale effect.
The birds are chirping chipper-ly. Right smack dab, directly in the window of the Queens mecca of love room. Bright and 6am early. Cutting the beauty sleep way too short. Although, perhaps the Queen should stop twittering until 2 am, and go to sleep earlier.
The grass is green. Although, it’s definitely greener on the other side of the street. Perhaps the Queen should bug the King to find out who their lawn care people are.
Children are running amok throughout the kingdom.
Well really. Only the Queens children are running amok. The rest of the children, throughout the entire land, are at camp. Either all day. Or…*gasp* overnight. For a month. A whole month.
The Queen tried. She signed her children up for various camps.
Her beautiful princess Curly Q. She was signed up for a camp that went to different destinations, every single day. She was also signed up for royal sleep away camp, for three weeks at the end of the summer.
But the beautiful Curly Q. Would much rather stay home. And follow her mother, the Queen, throughout the castle and the kingdom, whining about how bored she, the princess, is.
The Queen mother. She sighs. A lot.
The Queen tried. She offered to sign her oldest son, Prince Hairy, up for royal sports and adventure camp. But Prince Hairy. He would much rather stay home. And follow his mother, the Queen, throughout the castle and the kingdom, whining about what video games he wants.
The Queen mother. She sighs. Even more.
The Queen tried. She took her youngest son, Prince Paininthebutt, to day camp. Every day. After fighting with him to get dressed. And after fighting with him to get in the car. And after fighting with him to get out of the car and go try to be sociable with kids his own age.
But her youngest child. He would much rather stay home. And make his mother, the Queen, run after HIM throughout the castle and the kingdom, screaming at him to get his clothes back on. And to not pee in other peoples bushes. And…
The Queen mother. She sighs. Deeply. VERY deeply.
She doesn’t understand why, in the kingdom, these kids want to be home all day. And why, they refuse to call their friends, although few and far between, who didn’t go to camp.
And why her children. The precious fruit of her labor and loin. Why do they want to be with her all day. To follow her around. To whine. To demand. To disobey. To make her sigh deeply. And SCREAM loudly.
And wishes that she, the Reigning Queen Supreme, was once again a princess. And was once again, waiting at the end of the castle driveway for the royal camps transportation to come and take her away.
The Queen, in her youth, never wanted to be home. She never wanted to follow her mom around. Whining. Demanding. Disobeying.
There was PLENTY of time for that, during the school year.
And the Queen. She sighs.
Right there, you see that? Right there. They love you.
Don’t you remember summers at home bored out of your tree? Those are the summers I remember most.
There is a lot of sighing going on over here too (if that makes you feel any better). And, I also have a Prince Hairy…he’s only seven. That boy is going to need a good wax job when he’s older.
lol *sigh*
Hey, if you were my mom I would want to stay home with you too…because you are funny (and it would be fun to make you sigh all day)……
Le SIGHHHHHHH… the prince in this kingdom will not even consider day camp, let alone over night camp although his best friend will be gone for a minumum 2 weeks (likely 4!). He did it for 3 days last year and whined every night, I had to pull him. We’re trying a half day next week, and the girl too; I’ll be driving around like a madwoman, but it’ll buy me a couple hours a day at any rate.
Twenty six days, your royal highness, when you will be taken away…
My children are without a choice. Summer day camp for both of them. All day. 8-5. Mama has to work.
It’ll be their first summer where I’m not home during the day. Hopefully it’s not too much of a fight. But I used to say that summer vacation was akin to a “hostage situation.” Today would be Hostage Day 6.
I am not a mother but you give me an interesting insight to parenthood!
i fail to understand the children of the kingdom. fail fail fail.
MAN! This is hilarious! I don’t think I’d send my kid off to summer camp … but I commend those that can! When I think of all the “me-time” I can garner from sending him to camp I get all giddy … but then I get all nervous and decide I’d miss him too much!
At the moment however, the catholic nursery he attends, is open all thru August … But then I have to listen to “We Are Walking With The Lord” every single day ..
What is with kids today? Honestly. When I was a kid I rode my bike as far as if not farther than I was allowed. I did not come home until the street lights came on. I did what it took to be out and about. My kids? They want to stay inside unless I make some elaborate plan to get them outside. No one walks or rides bikes anywhere. Summer programs are a tie-dyed T-shirted form of torture. I know the sigh. I know the feeling. I wish I knew the answer.