I’m going to be perfectly real with you. Not that I haven’t been. So nothing is different about this post. BUT…
I love summer.
YET…
I DESPISE summer break.
Way too many school breaks.
They are getting old and worn out. Tiresome.
And this summer one is around 11 or 12 weeks too long.
I know. You’re thinking, what a horrible mother.
It’s too much.
Those kids.
That husband.
They’re all home.
With way too much togetherness.
We’re a close family but, enough already.
During summer vacation…
I can’t make and pack lunches the night before.
Instead, they expect me to jump on demand when they start whining about the growling in their tummies.
My new line this summer is going to be…and some of you may recognize this because it’s a variation on a line from a popular John Hughes movie…
Shut up bitch and go fix YOURSELF a turkey pot pie.
They are old enough.
They know how to take two pieces of bread.
They know how to grab a knife from the cutlery drawer.
They know where the peanut butter is.
We have NO nut allergies in our home.
So they can take that knife. Stab it into the jar of peanut butter. Slap it on the bread. And shove it down their whining pie holes. For every meal.
I know, my mothering skills are legendary and impressive.
Oh, stop kicking yourselves. You can be like me, too. Copying is the highest form of flattery.
Laundry is another major bone of contention. Especially during the summer months. Because, you see… we have the pool.
With the pool comes a bazillion wet towels.
With those bazillion wet towels…
That they drop haphazardly on the floor…on top of their CLEAN and FOLDED, yet still not put away clothes…
Comes a mildew smell.
Which means…
Not only do those ALREADY cleaned and folded clothes have to be rewashed…
But I have a bazillion wet towels to de-blackmoldize.
And…THAT is going to change this summer too.
You see…
I’m going to teach each of them how to do laundry.
So that, when their clothes are damp and stinky due to the damp and stinky towels that they’ve carelessly left on their carelessly left clothing…
They are going to be able to call upon their own mad laundry doing skillz…
And do it themselves, yo.
The messes.
Oy. vey. The messes.
A mess is like gray hairs. You clean one up. And in the span of time it took for that, three more pop up. It’s a never winning battle on a war that is only being fought by one lone renegade person…THE MOMMY.
So here is my white flag.
I surrender.
Especially for the summer.
And with the hubby home.
Along with the 5 kids.
They are in charge.
Let’s see how long it takes for them to realize that those messes aren’t miraculously cleaning themselves up.
Let’s see how long it takes for them to start whining and complaining about the fact that it’s too messy in the house, and they can’t find anything.
Let’s see how long it takes for them to find me. Hiding in my still very neat closet.
But really, let’s see how long it takes for me to give in and make the lunches, do the laundry and clean the house…
Wake me up when summer vacation ends.
Is there less guilt involved for me if I just agree with you rather than saying everything you just said on my own blog? I love my kids, but all the noise and mess they bring with them I could do without. Today they’re both at camp all day, which means we’ll have more than our share of pleasant smiles and conversation with they come home.
OMG! I have the towel issue myself. In the past two days, nearly every freaking towel has been used and we only went to the beach ONCE! We have a small pool for the girls – cause we live at the beach and that’s our main pool. But I so relate because I have already found several black mold laden clothes in the laundry hamper because “someone” doesn’t know how to HANG A WET DAMN TOWEL UP!!
Entertainment issues – do you have entertainment issues? The kind that the kids think that just because THEY are on vacation, we are too. Therefore, THEY think we are to find entertaining things for them to do every damn second of the day they are out of school.
Summer vacation has just started and I’m already feeling the need to check myself into a rest home. How about you girl?
Perfect ending thoughts since I was wondering if we should be betting on when your breaking point of living in the clutter would be 🙂
Get a HUGE chore chart going dear, and no body goes anywhere or watches/plays anything until their daily chore is complete. It works for us.
Happy summer to you!
OMG, you been to my house spying or something?!? I have the EXACT SAME ISSUES at my house. How can two little boys go through so many towels? I swear I wash every single towel we own on a daily basis – and summer vacation doesn’t start for them until Friday!
I’m gonna hide in my very neat closet too and wait for the September wake up call!
you poor thing.
sometimes having a job outside of the home has it’s advantages. 😉
I still have my 2 at home all the time so I’m used to all of this. We’ll see how that changes once they are in school full time. I feel for ya though and am not looking forward to it.
I’ve got the mildew problem and I have no pool to blame it on. Just too lazy to put the laundry in the dryer in a timely fashion!
Wow. You’ve really made a point there. From now on, I’m never having sex, I’m never owning a pool and I’m totally homeschooling – so every day can be like summer vacay, I won’t have more kids and I’ll never have to wash those damn towels. Lesson learned.
I absolutely agree! I woke up this morning and immediately started bitching. I made my kids clean up THEIR mess. This was the first morning of summer break and I figured I’d set the ground rules right away!
I will give you my cure to ending your despair about summer vacation. Ready? Here goes: Get a job working in the high school cafeteria! You will be begging for summer vacation to start the minute school starts in the fall! I’ve been doing it for 6 years. Today is the last full day of school, therefore, last day for lunches. I have been dreaming of this day for months! LOL! Have a great summer. I know I will!
It is with mixed feelings I welcome summer
and then want to run away.
I like your approach. Yes, i just might adopt it!
OMG! I so know what you mean. I get soooo tired of cleaning up one mess after another. With my 5, aged toddler to teen, they act like they do soooooo much around the house. If they would only realize that if they just picked up after themselves, there would be so much less to do.
Oh and I’ve gone on strike before, secretly waiting to see how long it would take someone, any one of the 6 other beings in our house, to vacuum underneath the kitchen table. They always outlast me. I just can’t stand it. There could be ants crawling around on the food underneath my toddler son’s chair, and STILL no one else would clean it up. I am defeated. They have won….. *sigh