School always bored me.
I remember sitting in class, shifting miserably in my stiff wooden chair.
I remember zoning out and staring so hard at the writing on the chalkboard that it would blur and start dancing.
I remember the teachers voices and how similar they all sounded to the adults in Charlie Brown movies.
Paying attention was quite a chore.
Staying on task was rare.
Organization was impossible.
Assignments were done, half-assed, at best.
But somehow, I fumbled my way through school.
Most classes, I passed with a C.
Sometimes better. Other times, worse.
These days, I am SURE I would have been diagnosed with A.D.D.
Those days, notsomuch.
These days, I am SURE I would have been put on medication.
Those days, very rarely did we hear of kids put on medication for A.D.D.
I slid by.
Through my school career.
Through my million years of college.
Always starting. NEVER finishing.
And now, here I am.
A “grown up”.
Diagnosed with A.D.D. by my psychologist.
And all my actions in the past suddenly made sense.
Not to justify anything. Just to clarify.
So…
I decided, since my daughter was diagnosed with A.D.D. And since she was just put on medication for it…
I was going to try her medicine.
So I would understand how she would feel on it.
Also, just to see…
For myself, what it would do.
And for the first time, in what I think I can honestly say…
my life…
I could think straight.
I didn’t have the sound of my voice singing different 32 songs.
I wasn’t carrying on 45 different conversations in my head.
I was able to keep track of real life conversations, without asking, “What was I talking about.”
Pretty complete clarity of thought.
And I thought to myself,
with complete clarity…
I wonder what would have happened…
back in “those days”.
If someone would have noticed that the problems were not completely a lack of motivation.
And not completely a lack of application.
And perhaps, if someone would have thought that…JUST PERHAPS…
this very bright girl really and truly was having a hard time focusing.
And perhaps, this person who noticed this lack of focus…
would have prescribed some sort of medication to make this young girl…
BE ABLE to focus.
I think…very clearly because I have popped one of my daughters “focus” pills…
I would have PERHAPS, with all the motivation and application that I could muster…
That “these days”…
I would have taken over the world.
Or I would have been very focused on trying!
Well…I’m only 40.
It’s not too late.
Its not too late! Thank goodness the right action has been taken for your baby. Now take care of momma too!!!
When you start your evil plot let me know…will be riding your coat tails to total world domination! Muwahahahahahaah!! I am so glad you had some clarity…I know how that feels…its like Zen.
I think taking over the world is vastly over-rated. I mean, who wants all that responsibility, anyway.
Really, kudos to you for being able to recognize your problem. Take action! You aren’t dead yet! Now go take care of yourself and conquer the world!
Life is just getting going for you right? Rock on with your bad self! Good for you for making the strides to make things better!
i actually know a few people who started taking adderal at 40 years old and are WAY happier now. Good luck with it! And kudos for helping your daughter, and getting her on the right path!
I am so happy that things are looking up for you & your daughter. You Rock!!!!!! \m/ (if you can’t figure out what that is-it’s rock hands…lol)
It’s never too late. I’m glad you have some answers and some help.
time to take care of you….