Remember our Mommies from this post called Crooked And Tarnished: A Story Of Imperfection And The Mommies Who Were In Denial? Remember how both Mommies stuck their heads in the sand. Because nothing could be wrong with their children. Their children, despite the crooked and tarnished crowns…were PERFECTION. And BRILLIANT. And not one thing was possibly wrong with them.
Well, this Mommy took her head out of the sand. Again. Because, through all the grit that was filling up her ears, she could hear a muffled sound. One that, had her head NOT been deep underground. And had her ears NOT been filled up with tiny grains of sand…
She would have known, IMMEDIATELY, it was her darling daughter. Who was crying in frustration. Because she was trying. Really, really hard. To clean and straighten her crooked halo.
The Mommy, while angling her head to her shoulder in an attempt to rid herself of excess gunk that had accumulated in her ears, asked her darling, precious daughter what was troubling her.
“Oh Mommy.” the daughter exclaimed, her voice thick with disappointment.
“Speak up my love. I can hardly hear you.” spoke the Mommy, very loudly, because she could hardly even hear herself speak with so much grime littering her ears.
“Mommy. I’ve tried. And I’ve tried. So desperately. To clean my halo. And to straighten my halo. I tried to read a book that would explain what to do. And I thought I followed the instructions correctly.” The poor little girl cried. “But no matter what I do. My halo. It won’t come clean. And I can’t get it on straight. And I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. And the other kids are starting to tease me.”
And the Mommy. She told her daughter…
“Oh, it looks fine to me, my beautiful angel. Don’t worry so much about it. Maybe as you get older, your halo will clear up. And maybe it will also straighten out. And you’ll have the last laugh at all the other children who are teasing you.” And she smiled at her child lovingly. And she figured that, with her wise words, everything would be ok. And she figured that, with her wise words, this conversation was over with.
And she stuck her head back, deep in the sand.
There she stayed. For a couple of years.
Of course, she did all the motherly things.
She made sure her child was as happy as she could be, considering her halo was still crooked and tarnished, no matter what attempts were made at reversing the situation.
The sweet girl started to act out due to frustration and anger…because her halo was just not the way she wanted it to be. And no matter what she did. And no matter how hard she tried. The halo just would NOT respond to her treatments of cleaning and straightening.
Finally, the mother. She yanked her head abruptly out of the sand. She cleared her ears of all the dirt, grime and grit…
And she made a couple phone calls.
To the people who specialize in straightening and cleaning halos.
And she took her darling daughter, with her crooked and tarnished halo, to these specialists.
These specialists looked at the halo. They tested the halo. They measured the angle. They measured the tarnish.
And these specialists told the very concerned Mommy, whose ears were no longer filled with earth, and who could hear each word precisely…that the only way this halo was going to straighten. And the only way this halo would become fully clean. Is with modern medicine. In the shape of a capsule.
And these specialists told the darling daughter, that she did a beautiful job trying to straighten her halo, all by herself. And she did an amazing job trying to rid the halo from its tarnish, all by herself. They told her that now it was time for intervention. That it was time for the beautiful little girl to have some help.
These specialists gave the Mommy a piece of paper with the name of a special medicine.
The Mommy grabbed her daughter. She thanked the halo specialists. And she held tight onto the script. And she held on, even tighter, to her daughters little hand.
Together, the Mommy and the daughter who tried and tried to fix her halo herself, talked about taking this medication.
Together, the Mommy and the daughter who got so frustrated and disappointed because of her unresponsive halo, decided to give this medication a try. Just to see if, perhaps, her halo would indeed straighten. And would indeed get less tarnished. With a little help in the form of a powder filled capsule.
But the little girl decided this, on her own, because it really was HER final word…
to give it a try.
So the Mommy, because the daughter was afraid to swallow the capsule, poured the powder into a spoonful of yogurt.
And the daughter, full of hope, swallowed that spoonful of powder-filled yogurt down.
And left for school.
While the daughter was at school. And the medicine ran through her body, hopefully starting to straighten and clean her halo, the Mommy cleaned. The Mommy ran errands. And the Mommy, most of all, worried.
Worried about what kind of effect the medicine would have on her daughter and the halo.
Would it make her sick?
Would her halo get worse?
All the Mommy could do was wait. Wait until her daughter came home.
So she could see. For herself. If her daughter and the crooked and tarnished halo were ok.
Finally…
The daughter arrived home.
Smiling.
And the Mommy asked her darling daughter,
“How does your halo feel, my sweet girl?”
The daughter replied…
“Mommy. For the first time. My halo, it stayed on straight…all day. And my halo…the tarnish…is fading.” She looked up at her Mommy with a look of happiness and relief.
“Oh my darling. I am so happy to hear that.” the Mommy smiled down at here daughter, with a look of happiness and relief.
Happiness and relief because they both knew now that the halo would only get straighter and brighter.
And for that, there was no denial.
My son has adhd, and it was so hard for me to put him on medication. We tried EVERYTHING first, and when there were no other options, I gave in. I wonder now why I was so afraid to give him the help he so desperately needed. I hate those people who think I am taking the easy way, but I just tell them that it was my decision, and it was a hard one. And when my son went from getting in trouble every. single. moment. of every.single. day. to being a pleasure for the teachers to have in class, I knew we made the right decision. How can anyone say that helping our children be the best they can be is the wrong thing?
Did any of that make sense? I am so sensitive about this, because even my family gave me grief about medicating my son. But I know I made the right decision for HIM, and that’s all that matters to me.
I do NOT understand the reason why people give parents a hard time for giving their child a medication that is PROVEN to make their child’s life better. My brother has had ADHD since he was around 7. My parents refused meds until he was 12. It was heartbreaking to watch as a sibling, and an outsider.
I’m so glad that this is working for her. SO VERY GLAD.
xo
I am so glad that the meds are working. Sometimes we all need a little outside help.
This made me cry! What a fabulous, wonderful, amazing post. My stepson has ADHD and meds are a Godsend. I have no idea where we’d all be without them.
I wish her continued success!
xoxo
Oh Mel.. I am sitting here in tears.. what a beautiful post.. I am truly happy with the success you are seeing!!!
I am so glad you are seeing results & she is feeling better
This spoke directly to my heart. I have ADHD and I struggled so very hard as a child. I was not diagnosed until college, but even then it removed the fog tht had been covering me and I still take my medication and my life has dramatically changed for the better. I am so glad your child is doing good!
Oh…. can I ever empathize here! My Bug has ADHD and is bipolar, so we’ve got the double med thing going on here. That I was soooo reluctant to admit might be needed until we actually did it. Now I hit panic mode when we start to get close to the end of the month if I haven’t refilled yet.
But the thing that makes me realize just how necessary it was? His comments about how it helps him inside himself, to control those things he knows he should but often can’t on his own.
It does get better. The halo does stay on straighter. And you will find polish in the most amazing of places.
wow is nice post….my friends……so dramatical….like a movie in my country indonesia
This, this is what the meds are for. I’m so glad that your girl is responsive and that it’s helping!!! Great post, Mel.
I’m so glad you found a way to keep her halo straight! 🙂 Don’t feel guilty about doing what you need to do to help her.
Fingers crossed that the halo continues to shine. Good for her and good for you. {hugs} to you both.
sometimes the straightening/cleaning pill is a miracle worker.
believe me. i know.