Jumbled, Muddled And Scattered And It’s Pretty Much Twitters Fault But We’ll Also Blame Google Analytics And T.V

Yes, I know…jumbled, muddled and scattered all mean the same thing. I just like how they sound together. And also…I’m not truly going to hold Twitter or Google or TV completely responsible for the random nothingness of varying degrees which I’m about to vomit onto this post. No, some of it is me. So come and take a glimpse into the mind of adult A.D.D…

Jumbled number one…
One thing about Twitter that annoys the piss out of me is…why request to follow, and accept a follow…if you aren’t going to really follow in any way, shape or form? Does that make sense? Or is it just about the numbers? OK, just askin’

Muddled number two…
I learned today, from my wonderful, outstanding and phenomenal hairdresser lady…that she’s never seen a 40 year old who is 80% gray the way I am. Thank you.

Scattered number three…
Oh ye of belly button fetish sicknesses…get ye filthy appendages off my blog. There is nothing here for you. How many times do I have to tell you? Get off my blog. And I’m not talking about the kind of getting off that you’re hoping to find when googling belly button fetishes. I mean…buh-bia.

Jumbled number four…
Ditto for drool fetishes. And excuse me but…how is it POSSIBLE to have a freaking drool fetish? And WHY?? WHY?? WHY?? So…go away. Shoo. And clean up your slobber and dribble before ya go.

Muddled number five…
Bumpits. Um. Yeah. Let’s really think about this before placing an order. Do you REALLY want to look like you have a HUGE bump on the top of your head? I don’t know about any of you but I left my big, huge hair…back in the 80’s. And trust me, it’s very happy there.

Scattered number six…
Speaking of 80’s
Melisa, JT is mine. And so is Simon. So don’t even try it. And Nick told me to tell you that shiny lips were en vogue back in the 80’s and don’t knock it because he got lots of girls.

Jumbled number seven…
For those of you who have children walking in on you during sex. I know you’re here. I saw you in my analytics. Let’s talk. Ah…how can I say this. LOCK YOUR DOOR. Or…be very, very quiet so as not to cause the creatures to stir. And if, when all else fails, they catch you in the act…use Vulcan mind control. It works every time.

Muddled number eight…
The sex toy giveaway has left the building. Ages ago. Thank you for stopping by. Feel free to enter my Ziggy Marley Family Time CD and ipod shuffle giveaway, though.

Scattered number nine…
I have 105 lovely people subscribed to my feedburner. Yet, I’m hardly getting any comments. Care to explain? Hmmmm??? I’m waiting. Because, based upon my numbers. And based upon my calculations. I should be getting approximately…100 comments. Yes, that’s a nice, round number. I could live with that. Ahem…hi *waves hand wildly*. Delurk. OK. Just humor me. It’s been a rough week or 52. Stroke me..erm…I mean, caress my ego. THANKS.

Jumbled number ten…
The finale. I’ve realized that my one year anniversary of blogging at Rock and Drool is coming up at the end of the month. Almost two years of blogging. Almost one year ago, I gave up Such Simple Pleasures. And I’ve been here for longer than I was there. WOW!
So, for my one year anniversary, I want to celebrate. So I guess, since I’ve never done the 100 things post. I need one hundred questions. Which…golly gee…there are a little over 100 of you subscribed to my blog. So…let’s see…hmmm…that makes 100 questions if everyone asks me something.
So…ask away. And on or around May 26th, I’ll post my one year/100 thingy about me post.

OH…
And one for good luck…
I am so excited for JULY!! To hug and squish you all. To get goofy drunk. To make sure no one kamikazes into the toilets…or at least keep their hair clean from barf. To FINALLY meet all of you, my friends, who have been a huge part of my life for almost two years. Two months.

Comments

comments