The Royal Garden Doesn’t Tend To Itself

The Reigning Queen Supreme is angry.
Not just “raise your voice a decibel” angry. Because that is NOT very angry. Not compared to how royally angry the Queen is.
No…
The Queen is a “shake a fist at the sky and scream every curse word into the heavens” angry. The Queen is “bang her head several times as hard as she can into a brick wall” frustrated.
For a couple of reasons.
You see, the Queen had been waiting patiently for the serf mother to stop watching the grass grow and to start tending her garden.
The Queen…waited. And waited. And waited.
And the serf mother got married to…another serf.
And the Queen waited. And waited. Thinking, now that this serf got married, maybe now she’ll have a desire to step up and water her garden…
And the UNEMPLOYED serf mother, sat around and watched television. Complaining about how hard her life was because no money is coming in.
And the Queen still waited. And waited.
In hopes that the serf mother would get over her plight in life. And pull weeds from her garden.
And during all this waiting…
Life went on as usual in the Kingdom.
Visiting the “other parents. School for the Royal Children. Royal sports. Royal Physicians.
Life.

The Queen, on occasion, even let Princess CurlyQ Nosybutt go slumming and tag along with the serf mother and the Step-Prince and Step-Princess. Out of the kindness of her heart. Because Princess CurlyQ Nosybutt likes to be included in everything. And the Princess doesn’t like to feel left out. The Queen understands that about her precious daughter, so she sighs a deep sigh, prays to the gods that no harm will fall upon her youngest daughter, and allows her to hang in the serfdom with her step brother and sister. Because the Queen is awesome like that.

But still, the Queen waits. For the serf mother to do as promised. And to call the Royal Specialists. And the Serf Specialists. Hell…the Queen doesn’t care, as long as the serf mother does what she says she is going to do to take care of her son, the Prince who has major amounts of emotional problems. After all, he IS her son.
But waiting. It got tedious.
And the promises. Got monotonous.
So the Queen. After asking the King to do something…anything. Besides sitting and staring at her, the Queen.
And after waiting for the serf mother to do NOTHING. Besides sitting with her legs spread for every passing serf to inspect the damaged goods…
Made the appointment herself. To pay a visit to the Royal Neurologist.
And the Queen…
told everyone else to fuck off. She was going to take care of it HER way. Because so far, THEIR WAY wasn’t working. Actually, THEIR WAY seemed to be…how do you say this…NON-Fricking-EXISTENT. To sum it up.
So the Queen penned in the appointment in her Royal Planner. Alongside the appointment that she had made…AGES AGO…for HER OWN little Princess CurlyQ Nosybutt.
Because she, the Reigning Queen Supreme takes care of her garden. She waters it. And pulls weeds. And makes sure the fruits of her labor are growing towards the sun.

She spoke of the appointment to both the Princess and the Step-Prince…
Who, in turn, spoke of the appointment to…
the serf-mother.
Who, in turn, wants to know what time the appointment is. Because she feels she should be there.
And the Reigning Queen Supreme says…
Off with her fucking head.
She sat around and did…NOTHING.
Just like that party that is being planned in the Kingdom.
NOTHING.
No tending to anything…
except perhaps, her serf bush.
But she wants to be included.
FUCK HER.
The Queen realizes that this…this…THING. Is the so called birth mother to the most difficult child the Kingdom has ever seen. The Queen does realize this.
But…
The Queen also realizes…and believe you me, the Queen is NOT patting herself on the back…
had the Queen NOT made this appointment herself…
no appointment would EVER have been made.
Because, you and the Queen both know that appointments do NOT make themselves.
Just like gardens don’t grow without being taken care of.
So there is NO WAY IN HELL…
that the serf mother will be included in this appointment.
And if she is lucky, the Queen MAY (or may not) share the results of the findings with the serf mother.

Then, to make the anger that the Reigning Queen Supreme is experiencing…ever deeper, and darker, and…ANGRIER…
The Princess CurlyQ Nosybutt…
Today. This VERY morning.
After asking what time the appointment was that she was sharing with her step brother.
So that she may, PERSONALLY, call the serf mother and inform her…
Told the Reigning Queen Supreme that the serf mother was…and I quote “Like a second mother” *throws up in mouth a little bit*
And the Reigning Queen Supreme, upon hearing this from her beloved princess…her most beautiful flower in the garden…
her eyes rolled in her head.
Her teeth smashed together as if someone had punched her in the jaw.
Her breath escaped her, as if all the oxygen had left her body.
And she howled.
And she screamed.
And the Princess…smirked.
The Reigning Queen Supreme, upon seeing her beloved princess smirk…
yelled at the princess. If THAT WOMAN was “like a second mother” to her…
then let her do the laundry, and make meals, and clean up her shit, and take care of her.
And the Princess said…
“fine”.
The Princess said…
“she’s a better mom anyways. Because SHE doesn’t yell at us.”
The Reigning Queen Supreme…
she snorted.
The Reigning Queen Supreme…
she sighed.
And said…
“That, my darling Princess, is because SHE doesn’t live with any of you.”
And the Reigning Queen Supreme sent her daughter off to school.
And the Reigning Queen Supreme called the King to give him holy hell.
And she obsessed about it all morning.
Finally, not knowing what else to do with her anger,
She blogged about it.
But, the Reigning Queen Supreme…
Is STILL angry.

so…enter the Ziggy Marley Family Time and ipod shuffle giveaway

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