I’ve been waiting, for 5 whole years…
No, that’s not exactly true. Because the first few months don’t count…
So let’s say, I’ve been waiting for 4 1/2 years for my son to start sleeping through the night.
Consistently.
It would happen for a couple weeks here. A few days there.
But he would wake up cranky and upset.
Which would lead to another year of him crying for me, anywhere between 1 and 4 am. And I would make my way to his room, smashing my toes into walls, elbows into bedposts…
to collect my baby. My toddler. My preschooler…
And bring him into my bed for the remainder of the night.
Then, miraculously, he’d sleep through the night for, oh…1 or 2 days in a row. And wake up all cranky and upset again.
Which would lead to another 6 months of my midnight wanderings and smashings.
And so on…
This has been going on for 4 1/2 years.
My bed.
My left arm as his lovey…
Smooching his warm, cuddly body, all night.
Me waking up exhausted.
My arm tingling from loss of circulation.
Crabby.
Over-exhausted.
Permanently PMS’y.
Until a couple of days ago.
When, he slept through the night.
In. His. OWN. Bed.
Surely, this was just another part of this cycle…
Except this time, he woke up so excited because he did it.
Just like his brothers and sisters.
And then…
He did it the next night.
And he woke up so excited. Because he did it again. Just like a big boy.
Last night, as I was putting him to bed, he took my cheeks in his little big boy hands and turned my ear to his mouth and said…
“Mommy. I’m going to sleep every night in my own bed. Like a big boy.” Then, he leaned in real close to my ear, and with his warm, toothpaste smelling breath, he whispered “I promise, Mommy. Because, I’m a big boy now.”
And I said…
“I know. And I’m so proud of you.”
But inside, I was crying. Because, even though I’ve been waiting for this day. For my baby to make this decision on his own…because that’s how he’s always rolled…he won’t do something unless HE is the one that decided to do it.
Now it’s here. He is truly sleeping through the night in his own bed like a big boy…
Because he said he was going to. There is no doubt that he will.
I can have my arm back.
And my side of the bed.
And my sleep.
And my sanity.
But…
My baby.
He just became a big boy.
And that is so bittersweet.
awe!!!
My baby boy (5 yrs old) sleeps in his own bed…BUT, I have to rock him to sleep first…so his legs are draggin on the floor as I rock and his arms are thrown over the side, he barely fits, but we still rock. I hoping (even if it will make me sad) that ONE DAY, he will decide he is a ‘big boy’ too and stop this rocking!
hey! you added my button to your page, THANKS!!!
I hate that….something happens that you’ve waited so long for & suddenly you think maybe it’s not what you *really* wanted. Eventually you will get use to it & love it so just be proud of him, but cry on the inside.
It’s about time!!!!! I was getting concerned that he, his wife and children would all be sleeping with you!!!!
Awww…. a bittersweet milestone. Congrats to your big boy and {{hugs}} to you.
Congrats on the finally slwwping through the night. My daughter is nearly 4 and I have the same problem. I too find that if she does go a small stretch that by night 2 or 3 I am totally worried about her and can’t sleep anyway.
I only have one left who will still hug me. Talk about milestones! He’s 13. I know it won’t be long…
Oh, I know this. I know this deep down where it aches. Very nicely written.
yep. the quintessential bittersweet moment.
congrats … and i’m sorry.
It’s so hard, isn’t it? My son is now 11, and he still ends up in our bed most nights at some point. Although I want him to stay in his own bed, I also secretly LOVE that he still comes in and snuggles up with me, sticking his feet under my body, just like he did ever since he was born.
Bittersweet is so true.
Awww-those moments are so precious yet so heartbreaking. When mine went from crib to big girl bed it just broke my heart.
I will be brokenhearted the day that Peanut can sleep by herself. I never wanted to cosleep but now that we do I can’t imagine her not being there. Luckily she’s tiny and only 5 weeks old so we still have time 🙂