To My Oldest Son,
I love you so much. You know that, right?
I thought that, despite the fact that you aren’t having a Bar Mitzvah and you’re breaking your Mommy’s heart…you still deserved a special 13th birthday present.
So did Nana and Papa. Even though you broke their hearts by not having a Bar Mitzvah.
So did your aunt and uncle. Even though you broke their hearts by not having a Bar Mitzvah.
All of us still wanted to make a fuss over the fact that you have become a teenager.
So, we all pitched in. And you got what you wanted…so badly. A laptop.
You were told that, even though you got this laptop for a present, if you flunked any classes…
What Mommy giveth. Mommy can taketh away.
So, my darling son. My first born child. One of the three loves of my life.
It is with a heavy heart that I say this to you…
If…
I keep getting emails from your teachers, letting me know that you are flunking their classes…
Even though YOU claim they aren’t speaking the truth and that you are doing great in school…
Not only will you be experiencing a very exciting summer in summer school. And no…it’s not as fun as they make it look in the movies.
I will be taking your laptop back. And hiding it. Where you’ll never be able to find it. And you’d better hope that I remember where I put it, when and if there ever comes a time you can get it back.
Which will never be the case…unless what you say corresponds to what your teachers say. Or…you get really good grades in summer school.
Got it?
Get it?
Good!
Love you always and forever (even though you broke my heart by refusing a Bar Mitzvah),
You Mommy
Sorry Melbs – that sucks. You must be so worried about him. What do you think is going on?
But MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!! My mom used to take the power cord to the computer and hide it in order to punish us for bad grades. It was the worst punishment EVER!
First of all…the uncle and I aren’t that devastated about his refusal to have a Bar Mitzvah, although we would be happy to attend a quiet little one in the Rabbi’s study. Second of all…someone needs to knock some sense into that kid b/c he’s waaaaayyyy too smart to be failing school. Third of all…someone needs to remind him that his beloved step-brother is gonna be in his classes next year if he doesn’t move ahead to the next grade. And, finally…if summer school is the way it appeared in movies, i’d be in attendance myself! 🙂
Well, at least you have 5 bedrooms so he and his wife will be able to live with you when they’re working at the local drive thru. 🙂
Why do I feel like this is the exact letter I want to write to my 11 year old daughter right now?
Visiting from SITS
While my son won’t be having a bar mitzvah for other reasons, he’s about the same age as your son and I could’ve written that word for freakin’ word. Just substitute “laptop” for xbox and it’s all good. ~sigh~
We are going through the same thing here. (Except without the Bar Mitzvah agony.) I have tried EVERYTHING to get the mancub to care about school, and nada. So I’m letting it go. He knows what to do to get his stuff back; he’s not doing it. I’m done nagging about it. If he fails his freshman year, that’s on him. (But it kills me to say that.)
Ah, this strikes a chord of terror into my heart. We’re not even in kindergarten yet. And its true — summer school always seems totally fun in the movies. Thanks, Hollywood, for nothing.