My dear friend, the fabulous, wonderful, outstanding…I can’t think of enough adjectives to describe how awesome this woman is…Tara who writes at If Mom Says Ok needed to talk. But in the privacy of another blog. So she asked. And, of course, I said..HELL YEAH!!
A MOTHERS RANT
This weekend my daughter will be moving back home, finished with her finals and ready for the summer before her junior year in college.
Today her dad spent a couple hours on the phone trying to break her apartment lease. You see, instead of returning to her adopted college town in the fall, she will be making a new home two hours closer.
She has become the kind of girl she used to make fun of… she is transferring schools because of a boy.
A little back story…
JM graduated high school 19th in her class of nearly 600, putting her firmly in the top 3%. She donned a golden collar, designating her as Summa Cum Laude. Her GPA was a weighed 4.7. As a college freshman she had more than 30 hours of class credits thanks to successfully completing nine Advanced Placement courses in high school.
She was accepted at each of the colleges she applied to and was offered academic scholarships at three. The fourth ~ The University of Florida ~ the one she chose to attend, was selected because JM believed it was the most academically challenging. She felt that a diploma from this institution would look better on her resume.
Her tuition was paid in full from an academically-based Florida Bright Futures Scholarship.
While at this college, she was active in the Student Honors Organization. She was even elected president of SHO as a sophomore. Under her leadership SHO was selected organization Of the Year campus-wide for 2009, and she, individually, was presented a Diamond Award in recognition of her service.
She has selected a major that she is excited about and completed an internship this semester with the Juvenile Justice Department in Gainesville. Depending on the results of her final exams, she should end her career at UF with a 3.7 or higher.
This was by all accounts a successful college experience for an exceptionally bright young woman.
She had horrible roommate issues, and had a difficult time making close friends. The aforementioned boyfriend was attending a different school, as were many of her closest friends… more than two hours away.
By the end of the summer she will be eligible for her Associates degree, making the transfer almost seamless. JM has talked with administrators at the school she wants to transfer to and has researched her major program.
The major she plans to pursue is ranked higher at her new school. The cost of living is lower and the apartment she will be sharing with one of her best friends is in a gated community and about the same expense for a safer environment.
By transferring she will be closer to home, she will be around friends and family, and presumably happier.
If you take the boy out of the equation, the move makes sense. On the face of it, her decision is a rational one. The move has been well thought out and hard to argue with.
If she stayed where she is, she could complete her bachelor’s degree in a year, then she could transfer for her master’s. But she doesn’t want to wait, and the BF is doing nothing to dissuade her from making this move. And, he’s doing nothing to transfer closer to JM.
Are either of them thinking about what is best for her?
Are we making too much out of this decision? She is an adult. She will be 20 in a couple months and more than capable of making these sort of life decisions herself. She really doesn’t need our permission, but I would have liked to give my blessing, but I just can’t. At least not yet.
During the two years JM and her BF have dated, theirs has been a long distance romance. The longest they’ve been in the same town has been summer break last year. My concern is that once they are around each other 24/7 the relationship will not survive.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder, so will being together so much become an irritant rather bringing them closer? If they break up, transferring back will not be an option.
Her dad and I have brought up all these concerns and JM says she has considered each one. This is a done deal, whether we like it or not. Whether we think it’s a good idea or not. And we do not think it’s a good idea.
I chose to post this some place other than my own blog to avoid causing problems for JM. Hubs and I have both talked to JM about this decision, so none of this is news. But… grans and aunts read my blog and would have no qualms about giving her grief over her decision. I hope to dodge that disaster.
If Mom Says OK is one of the first blogs I started visiting regularly. And she, in turn, started visiting me. At all my various new homes. She is a dear blog friend of mine and I am so excited to say that, in July…I will FINALLY meet her!! If you don’t know Tara yet, then go and meet her. She is a wonderful writer and photographer. I think…no, I KNOW…you’ll love her as much as I do!!