They come from near.
They come from far.
They come from all over.
And they come all over.
Just for the distinct pleasure.
The supreme honor.
The…
viewing pleasure of my children.
To mate in my pool.
Toads doing it doggy style.
Toads doing it in threesomes.
Toads having orgies.
Toads trying to meet other single toads to get their groove on with.
All over my pool.
AGAIN.
Like they do every year.
And they leave ribbon-like excrement full of black dots,
scattered all over the tarp that protects the pool from the weather…and toads…
which go on to become…
sperm-shaped tadpoles.
MILLIONS of them.
And yes, if you really want one when they start squiggling around my pool…feel free to get a tupperware container and come over!
And all I do…
While these toads are schtupping in my pool and leaving their bodily fluids AND their babies…
I CHASE my son.
Who tries to CATCH the mating toads…
Or one of the single toads who is trying to hook up…
Because I’m so worried that he is going to fall in the pool…amongst all these mating toads and their…slimy sex juices…
And all the while, I wonder…
As i’m yelling at my son to be careful not to get too close to the edge of the pool.
And as I’m screaming at my son to NOT touch toads that are locked in embraces.
The same thing as I wondered last year at this time…
Toad skin is super smooth, right?
And pretty much wrinkle free…right?
Forget the warts…
But…
Could it have anything to do with all those fluids that are seeping into my pool from their mating rituals?
And how easy would it be to market toad cum as the new wrinkle filler and moisturizer.
You have had since last year to think about it.
Anyone come up with any ideas since then?
And then, anyone want to be the one to be the test marketer?
Just a little preview of all the shenanigans these toads are up to this year
Wow that’s freakin nasty and they are freaky little toads. What’s with your pool and sexual activities????
That completely grosses me out, but fascinates me all at the same time. HAH HA HA HA HA.
And NO I will not be your tester. 😉
Oh dear God! I don’t know whether to laugh my A** off or wretch my guts out. What kind of pheromones are in your pool girl!?
OMG.
I think I just threw up a little.
But I couldn’t help but keep reading….and peeking.
Um, I think I will stick to wrinkly elephant skin, thank you. 🙂
LOL, oh my gosh….. That is hilarious well not for your pool. Clorox here we come!
Yea, I would be more the uppity to keep my little one away from the “slimy” toads….
they don’t call ’em horny toads for nothing…
No freakin’ way!! I remember this from last year, lol!! Oh how a year flies by eh? xo
s-h-a-k-i-n! ugh
GAG! My husband took my girls for a nature walk today to see a bunch of tadpoles but now I will never see that pond the same way…a TOAD ORGY! 😉