Stop nodding in agreement. Don’t think I don’t see you!
For real.
I see a shrink. Well, a psychologist. Are psychologists considered shrinks or is it just psychiatrists? Hmmm…
Anyway.
I see him a couple of times a month. Listen, I have a lot on my plate over here in my real world. I’m raising my husbands son, who happens to be a little bit of a nightmare child. Plus, life. And 4 other kids. And in-laws that try to make me think that I’m a bad, bad person. And…a control freak of a husband. And money problems. And various other “things”.
It all sounds so trivial here. In my blog. When the letters come together to make the words and my thoughts are slightly legible.
But honestly. It causes me some anxiety. And some distress. And some exhaustion.
So…I need to talk to the good doctor. For an emotional adjustment. Every couple of weeks. So I can remain perky. Because, if my boobs aren’t perky anymore, then my emotional attitude needs to be. Hopefully one masks the other.
But today.
I JUST noticed. I think…shhh…c’mere. I’m going to whisper this because I don’t want anyone else hearing this except for you…
I think I might be crazy. A little bit.
Not like, go out in the street with those black rubber rain boots, snarly, filthy hair, brown stained teeth, mad eyes, screaming profanities at people and begging for food.
No…I’m not THAT kind of crazy.
I have a different type of crazy.
Are you still leaning in close? Because I’m about to bare my soul to you…kind of.
I get anxious when I have to leave my house.
There. I said it.
I realized it today. As I was getting ready to go grocery shopping for my Passover stuff.
I had to talk myself into getting dressed, putting on make up and getting my stuff ready to leave.
I had to convince myself that it was OK to get in the car and go to the store.
I’ve kind of, slightly, noticed this about myself before. But, I never really thought about it. Until today.
And the strange thing is…
I’m completely fine when I get to where I’m going.
But, this happens…all. The. Time.
I have to talk myself into leaving my house.
How freaking weird is that?
I tried to blame it on being shy. Only…I’m not THAT shy. Not anymore.
I tried to blame it on not wanting to leave my computer screen. Only…this started before I started blogging and twittering and…whatevering. Not to mention, my iPhone keeps me connected. At all times. Yeah, thank GOD for iPhones and wifi connections.
So now. I for REAL. Have a reason to talk to my shrinkologist.
The funny thing is…
Last time I was there, I asked him why he keeps wanting me to come see him. And I asked him if it was, perhaps, because I was slightly insane and he didn’t want to hurt my feeling and tell me the truth. And if I wasn’t crazy, couldn’t that time slot be filled by someone who was.
He laughed. Like I had just made a joke.
Which, obviously, I did.
Because apparently…
those time slots ARE taken up by someone who is crazy.
Well, kinda crazy anyway.
But aren’t we all? Kind of? A teeny, tiny bit?
What makes you feel like you’re slightly crazy? Or, am I alone?
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I think everyone is in need of a psychologist at some point in their life.
I’m glad you’re doing it, for yourself… and for your family. It’s all about taking care of yourself, respecting yourself; you’re not as little crazy as you think. I’m a more than a little neurotic about a lot of things – I don’t like to answer the phone for one. Okay, now you’ve got me started…
I wish I could go talk to someone. My problems seem so trivial, but I wish I could just talk about them…it’d probably do me some good.
I am glad you are going to see someone. Don’t waste time if possible. Time? who has that these days I know.
I don’t think your weird at all. I have been battling this for quite some time now. I just got out of practice (leaving the house, that is.)
You are wonderful!!!
{{{Hugs}}}
You’re not alone. I hope you update as to what your shrink says as I have the exact same problem. I can’t stand to leave my house anymore, it’s more than that but I hardly ever go anywhere anymore because of it. My husband even does all of the grocery shopping now. I’ve blamed it on motherhood but I don’t really know what the real “thing” is. Good luck, I think we’re all a little bit crazy. 🙂
Thankfully there are pharmaceuticals to help us. I’d see a shrink if they’d come to me!
A) It isn’t trivial. At all. NOT ONE BIT. Don’t you ever think that, okay? We have to be okay talking about mental health and abortions and the fact that we dye our hair to cover our grays.
B) I get anxious before I leave the house, too. I have MANY mental illness diagnoses … I should write about them so you don’t feel so alone (and anxious about sharing them). My answers to “What makes you feel like you’re slightly crazy?” is going to have to be an entire post for you. 🙂
C) I’m glad that you are willing to whisper this stuff to us. *hugs*
I think everyone should be going to a psychologist. Especially those who aren’t, or who don’t think they need to.
And I get anxious going places too, just not all the time. Just sometimes. And I don’t know why.
And sometimes, I don’t do things on purpose just so that they don’t get done. Now THAT is crazy.
I find myself more willing to stay home too. It’s not that I’m anxious, I’m just not motivated to DO anything. Crazy… I think we are all a little crazy. Some of us give into the impulse more readily.
Oh I am for sure 100% crazy..not even a little.. big time.. I just cover it up with a smile.
Ha. I asked my “therapist” one time if she thought I was crazy. lmfao.
She laughed like I told a joke too.
and then didn’t ever answer my question…except to ask another question that went something like,
“do YOU think you are crazy?”
damn.
It is an actual condition called agoraphobia and it is quite common.
Google it and then go and discuss it with your therapist. There is help out there and don’t feel alone…..lots of people have varying degrees of it!
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Dude, you are talking to someone who is well on her way to being a complete shut-in. Leaving the house is a huge deal for me, and while I’m out, I’m hurrying so I can get back home. Bill has learned to spot signs that indicate I’m having a hard time, and he hands me the keys and sends me to the car while he finishes shopping, eating, whatever.
So yeah, I get what you’re saying here, and I’m saying, “Keep seeing your therapist while you can still leave the freaking house.” 😀
um…..you should call me. guess you dont know about all of my crap. i have to take meds for it. but you should fix it sooner than later, because it an only get worse. (ive been doing this for YEARS AND YEARS) serioulsy…call me. and fyi…youll find that when you admit stuff like this…that everyone comes out of the woodwork with their same issues! im very open about my issues. im not a secretive person. youd be shocked with how many people deal with the same exact thing! youll be ok. breathe. and call me 🙂