Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
The Queen would like to announce to the kingdom…and outlying areas…of festivities that are being arranged for a certain 13 year old Princess.
Yes…the very same princess who sleeps on top of a huge mattress of clothing and garbage.
The very EXACT same princess who has lost not ONE but TWO iPods.
THAT princess. Is having a HUMUNGOUS. GINORMOUS…in a non-competitive (because in this Kingdom and outlying areas…mine WILL BE bigger AND more expensive than yours is the sickening attitude) way.
Due to a poor economy…
that Princess is having a nice sized Bat Mitzvah this summer (In plenty of time to recoop losses so that the Reigning Queen Supreme can meet all her friends over there in Chicago in July!).
Royal invites have been picked out and are waiting for…
The guest list with names and kingdoms to be scrolled onto artificial papyrus (because fine papyrus is not part of the budget but the artificial one is REALLY beautiful. Pics will be posted when the arrive)
The d.j is being searched for…because, due to a teeny, tiny budget…we have to search high and low in the Kingdom for someone who isn’t a highway robber…because we don’t have anything in our teeny tiny budget to allow for someone to rob us on any highway or crossroad.
The venue is being venued…again…think teeny tiny budget and looking out for highway robbers. But swimming and volleyball and basketball and copious amounts of food…will be highlighted.
Things are starting to fall into place…
Despite some screwy communication between the Wanna-Be Plumber…er…King (who, by the way…still has NOT fixed that bathroom!) and Queen…who was being given a hard time.
The Reigning Queen Supreme may actually be able to sleep through the night, without waking up with night sweats and terrors due to the rapidly approaching date and the lack of concrete plans.
The Reigning Queen Supreme may actually not have to worry about June 6th and 7th arriving with a shrug of shoulders and a crying and disappointed 13 year old Bat Mitzvah Princess.
Because, despite a lack of help from a serf called Mom…financial or otherwise…though the claim to want to help was there but…’sok…it’s all good.
The Queen called on her sister…The Royal Barrister.
Who was an incredible help with a major part of this production.
And the Reigning Queen Supreme is forever indebted. But just don’t ask her to help plan a party…ever…NOT my forte.
This amazing event.
This Jewish right of passage.
With a tremendous bang!
Because we, the Royal Parents, decreed it…
So it shall be!!
Have I ever told you that I love reading your blogs because they’re like lists … and I love lists?
The Retired One says
I hope there will be no royal pains for the rest of the planning for the royal party!
Have you gotten the Princess a new tiara yet?
sounds like a party not to be missed.
It will all come together & be perfect. Can’t wait to hear how it all turns out.
Woman in a window says
I know nothing of Royal Bat Mitzvahs but I await your retelling. June is such a long way away. So much time…it’s all good.
Tara R. says
Yay for the Princess arriving at her teens and double yay for her party. The Supreme Queen will pull it off and it will be THE party of the year.
the planet of janet says
mazel tov, sweetie.
just because it’s on a budget doesn’t mean it won’t be beautiful. i should know. i did it. and my budget was minuscule.
The Royal Barrister says
The Royal Barrister…I like that, it has a nice ring to it!…is very happy to be of counsel and assistance for such a special occasion! 🙂 xoxoxo