Oh the Kingdom. A glorious place. Full of vim and vigor. And pep. And light. And youth. And euphoria.
People in the Kingdom…they have a light and happy bounce to their step.
Because in the Kingdom…people are light and happy and bouncy.
Except for…
The Queen.
She would be light and happy and bouncy…if she could. Basically, she has a jiggle to her step but it’s more than her step that’s jiggling…that’s neither here nor there.
We’re talking about bounce…
Which…
If there was a bounce to her step. It would be accompanied by a grimace. And a moan. And a “Oh…my (place any explicative )back!”
Yes my darling smurfs…I mean serfs…the Queen is broken. Her back is DEFECTIVE. But…being almost 40…there is no returning it to the back store.
So the Queen did what any Royal person in pain would do and…
Got her tired, poor, broken…back. To the Royal Chiropractor.
To be cracked. And twisted. And bent. Hopefully, back to where it should be.
So on the Queens second visit, yesterday…
The Royal Chiropractor asked the Queen to take a royal stroll up and down the hallway of the Royal Chiropractor Clinic…while he watched.
After asking the Queen is she had any fries with that shake…snort…
He royally decreed the Queen to have…get this…
An unstable pelvis.
It appears that those three babies that the Queen housed within her womb…which is housed within her pelvis…
They wreaked havoc.
Which is all fine and good because the Queen ADORES her babies…especially when they are sleeping or at school…
But this havoc that they wreaked, which has made the Queens royal baby chamber…her pelvis…unstable…
Is now wreaking havoc with her entire frame. Causing instability in her gait. And in her reclining position. And in her day to day blogging…er…life.
And even though the King has tried to aid the Queen in her pelvic exercises…which should help in the restabilization…
And the Queen GREATLY APPRECIATES the Kings active participation in the efforts to aid the Queen in her recuperation…
Sigh…
The Queen is still…without wanting to sound ungracious and whiny…
in agony…
OK fine…
Very uncomfortable.
So yesterday, the Queen took her unstable pelvis and went to her sisters house.
And crawled into her sisters bed.
Where they watched…The View.
And…by the way…
How can that Elizabeth WHATSHERNAME be allowed on that show. She offends every one of my five senses PLUS the senses that haven’t been discovered yet.
Can’t. Stand. Her.
Can’t stand her Republican comments.
Can’t stand her make-up.
And what was up with that ribbon in her hair?
Just sayin.
Can’t. Stand. Her. At. All.
But I love Whoopi. And Babwa Wawa. LOVE
Just do me a favor, producers of The View…
Rid that young blond chick. She. Sucks. Donkey. Balls.
And because I am the Queen.
And it doesn’t hurt my unstable pelvis to speak my opinion on my blog…
But…it offends every ounce of stability I have left in my being to see and hear that person…on t.v.
Which reminded me why I never watch that show, despite my love for the other hostesses.
I…
Have spoken.
Now…
I’m going to go jiggle my way to the royal cracker of backs.
And let him wonder about fries…
as he restabilizes my instabilities.
Queen…Out.
Hear Hear! As the queen speaks, so shall it be!!
Down with Eliza-BITCH!!
Our Queen had to be removed surgically from the womb of the Queen Mother because the Queen Mother’s 41-year-old pelvis had apparently shrunk from lack of use and could not accommodate the Queen’s big head.
We do not have a chiropracter in this town.
One of many drawbacks.
Hopefully he will refrain from further rude comments and just make things better.
Nominated you: http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/70131
xo
I no longer watch The View. All of them are too full of themselves, except Whoopi.
And that Rosie O’Donnell escapade?
I hated it even more!
No wonder your pelvis aches…it was ashamed to be a queen of all women on that show!
Hope you feel better! I have a bad back as well & can feel your pain..
Hope you feel better soon. I hate Elizabeth too.
Did Joel really say that? I’m sorta horrified since he’s almost young enough to be your kid! But yet, I find it quite amusing that he’s comfortable speaking that way to someone almost old enough to be his mom!! I’d love for him to try that on Mom!!! Oh…and…Elizabeth SUCKS!!!