It’s Monday. Again. Can you say…Groundhog Day. Yeah…right here…living that movie.
My husbands alarm rings at 6:18am. Get up. Go through the routine of the day. Same shit. Same smell. Go to bed. Rinse. Repeat.
Thrilling.
I’m not complaining. Well…not really. OK, fine. Maybe a little.
Because I’m curious…
When does life start getting…
well…
fun?
Now trust me when I tell you…I don’t hate my life. In fact, aside from super horrible Sundays when my husband is on a temper-mental rampage and I can’t stand to be near him…
I have a decent life. And on the most part…it’s…enjoyable. And satisfying.
I have great kids who annoy me age appropriately. But they are healthy. And getting wise. Mouth and brain. I couldn’t think of anything more amazing than having children. Or less amazing.
But when does it start getting less stressful?
When does it start getting more exciting?
Less…real life like.
Or will it?
Because I question the point.
NOT in a I’m-about-to-jump-off-a-rooftop-type way.
I question the bigger picture.
I just can’t imagine that we are here, living our worker ant-like existence. Pro-creating. Making a mess of our planet. Causing holes where holes don’t belong. Filling in land where land shouldn’t be filled in.
For what?
Gods entertainment?
Is he up there, having a knee slapping, grand ol’ time, watching us?
Sometimes, I feel like we are just a bunch of marionettes in God’s puppet show. And our strings are getting a little tangled.
We all have little labels on the bottoms of our feet, like Buzz and Woody. Only, our labels say…”for God’s use only”. Then in parenthesis it says…BWAHAHAHA.
Really…this isn’t about having any type of strong religious belief. Those of you who hang with me regularly know that I struggle with religion and belief anyways but…
Aside from that.
What. Is the point here?
My mom just called me. She told me that the newspaper said that hugging others AND meditation causes a reduction in stress. How…is that possible?
Because…after you are done with your meditation. There is still a dining room table full of laundry. The toll free numbers are still hounding you for money…that is rightfully theirs. The kids are still needing one thing…or another. Your husband still wants to know what’s for dinner. And you still haven’t had time to get a workout in.
Life. Doesn’t become less stressful. Just because you meditated for a half hour.
But, seeing as I haven’t EVER meditated…I can’t be sure.
Maybe that is the cure to life.
Meditation.
While you are meditating…
Miracles happen.
Maybe I should try it.
Right after I pull a Leo Buscaglia and walk around hugging everyone…
If I can stand having that many people in my personal space after all my years of cuddling with my children.
GAH.
I know…
Oh woe is me of little faith, right?
But seriously.
Life goes so fast. And then…
You die.
So when does it slow down a bit with all the drama and crap so that, before that final breath…
you can look back and say to yourself…
You know, it was a freaking blast.
And then you can be free to laugh WITH God…
while sitting in the front row, watching…
his puppet show of life.
It is 100% my belief that we make this life what we want it to be. In the best capacity we have. I may not have all the time in the world to live some glamorous, jet setting life, but I really dont want to. I want to have moments that I cherish, good times and laughter with people I love, and in the end, that’s all I want to remember.
Sure, real life is shitty. But I really work hard to not make that as big a deal as it actually is. Because THAT is when you miss the moments that matter.
*hug*
I think you and I are pretty much on the same page as far as the religion stuff goes.
And I REALLY like the analogy of God’s puppet show. Usually I’m more in the camp of God having set it all in motion and went off to create something else, leaving us to our collective fate.
I have just finally decided that the NOW is the best there is. I try to find the good stuff and forget the stupid petty boring gross stuff. I don’t want to wish my life away. I did a lot of that in my youth and wasted a lot of time. There will never be enough money (in fact, once the kids get to school, the money situation will be a lot worse). They will always have issues of one kind of another, as will I. The names change, but the trauma stays the same.
I gave up on my life’s dream long ago. I know I’ll never be a movie actress, but I can be in the occasional community theatre play. And I have to just believe that that’s good enough. Because most of the time it is.
I often get caught in the “what is it all for” questions you pose…then I:
–look at my grandkids faces
–watch the lake and the waves pushing in
–study a tiny bird at my birdfeeder
–watch the sunset on the ocean
–feel the sun on my face
and know exactly.
I am now retired, and the stess is mostly gone. But, as I age, I know my time is getting shorter.
Therefore, I am grateful for every moment now.
At least I try to be….it is hard to be “up” every day….but if you take a deep breath and think of the things like I listed above, you feel better and understand more…
God’s puppet show? awesome.
Well said sister!