I was formulating a blog post in my head. I was going to write about my son…who is about to turn five…gah!
I was thinking about how I wanted to word it. Did I want to write it in my typical mindless fashion. Or…did I want to make it something with substance…
But then…a sidetrack occurred. Head on.
Laundry.
I had to switch loads.
You know what that means, right? Putting the wash into the dryer…and putting a new load in to wash. OK…good.
As I opened the pocket door that leads from the kitchen to the laundry/mud room…I was hit by a GINORMOUS blast of cold air.
And I remembered why it was that I hadn’t done laundry in a few days.
It’s flipping cold out.
Like…FREEZING. Like…sub-zero temperatures.
And…the door that leads from the laundry/mud room to the outside…
NEVER had it’s window replaced.
And then I realized…ta dah…my blog post. Which hit me as hard as the arctic temperatures.
Let me set the scene for you…
It’s mid-March. The year…2006. A very lovely, mild, Spring day.
I’m doing…laundry.
The dog…is outside in the back yard…having a flipping spazz attack at the neighbors dogs…or maybe it was a squirrel. Or…because of how bright she is…it could have been a falling leaf. But regardless…
She was barking. And jumping up and down at the fence in the yard. Basically…she was at risk for getting a ticket for disturbing the peace.
So…
I started yelling out the window, screaming at her to SHUT UP!
I guess I should remind you…since I haven’t posted much about my dog lately…I’m a cat person. I’m NOT a dog lover. How I got suckered into having this dog…is beyond me. I guess I must like my kids…kinda.
Anyway…
I’m screaming at the dog. Telling her, in a not so nice way, to stop barking. And…due to the fact that she was making noise so incessantly…she didn’t hear me.
Which led me to doing what any sane person would do…
I started banging on the window of the door.
Hard.
Super. Duper. Hard.
And suddenly…
My hand went through the window.
And the glass…shattered.
In slow motion…the shards started falling out onto the area between the door and the screen.
Miraculously…my hand was NOT cut.
But…the dog…
she shut up.
For about a second.
And then…I brought her in the house.
Cleaned up the glass…as best I could without killing myself and others…
Cursing up a storm…
Screaming at the kids not to set FOOT outside without shoes on…
as I’m scooping up the glass…without any hand, eye OR foot protection.
Then…
we put a cardboard box on the window to board it up.
And then boarded up the dog.
And then…
boarded a plane and headed off to California…for a wedding/vacation.
That…
was almost two years ago.
And the window.
It was NEVER replaced.
Why, you ask?
Please…don’t ask.
Lazy.
Cheap.
Lazy…and Cheap.
But…it’s time has come.
And it must be replaced.
Or…
not one person in this house…
is going to have clean clothes…
until the weather changes.
You were lucky you didn’t hurt yourself! I’d boycott the arctic laundry room too.
Happy Chanukah!
AHHHH – I totally understand – our dog makes an ass out of herself everytime we let her outside. We’re also lazy and cheap – our bathtub has been leaking into our kitchen for two years…
My sons room is the arctic room. Who knows what is lurking in there! I sympathize with you…windows are annoying to fix!
Lazy and cheap is the new…um…cool. Works for me!