My youngest son.
My little male chauvanist pig.
My little dark prince.
He got himself into some serious trouble with the powers that be, yesterday.
Oh yeah…I’m harboring a soon-to-be criminal.
A real rebel.
Without a cause.
His teacher. His “boss”.
She comes to my car while I was waiting in the fancy, schmancy carpool line.
“I just wanted to let you know…he wouldn’t help clean up.”
I raise my eyebrow…well…I TRIED to only raise one eyebrow but sadly…the only thing I can do is wiggle my ears. Somehow…that doesn’t impress…
I said, “Oh…” very matter-of-factly. Because…I knew where this was going. He lives with me…I KNOW this kid!!
“Actually…if truth be told…he NEVER helps clean up. He always claims a handicap. His leg. His hand.”
Me…I tried not to laugh because, like I said…HELLOOOO!!
“So, ” she continued “I told him that if he didn’t help to clean up, he wouldn’t be able to go outside to play with the rest of the kids.”
“Let me guess…he still didn’t help!”
“Well…he decided that he would help. After everything was cleaned up. So…I kept him in. He hates me right now. I just wanted to make you aware because…well…he IS NOT happy.”
Then…they brought him out to me.
He climbed into the car.
He buckled himself in.
Then…he collapsed. His little face…it started quivering. And tears started flowing…
“They wouldn’t let me play outside.” He sobbed.
“And why not?” I asked, trying not to let my maternal instinct kick in…and go beat up those who made my son cry…
“I didn’t help clean up. So…I hate them. They suck.” He said.
“Well, next time they ask you to clean up. And they threaten to not let you play outside…what are you going to do?” I asked him…wondering if a lesson had, by some miracle, been learned.
“I’ll help. But…I’ll only put ONE toy away. Because they have bad toys. Their toys are stupid, anyway!!”
And then he was done. He started telling me about all the kids that are stupid and bad and dumb and he hates. Because they only want to play stupid games with the stupid toys. And no one wants to play super heroes so they are all stupid.
The whole ride home…that’s what I heard about but…
When we FINALLY got home…
You know what he did?
He went upstairs to his room…
He noticed that it was still a mess from the morning destruction.
Without anyone telling him to.
So…apparently…a lesson was learned.
Well…at least for yesterday.
Who knows about today.
I’m hoping he didn’t get in trouble again today…
for dumping the toys that he thinks are stupid over the heads of the kids that he thinks are stupid…
my little dark, chauvinist rebel without a cause…