Our story begins on a sunny, early afternoon in Suburbia. The housewife…yours truly…had taken a leisurely shower…because she could. Her hair was blown into her typical 80’s, big, curly do. Make-up, carefully applied…giving her that fresh, barely any make-up look. She was…looking good.
Fully dressed and ready to start her day, she struts down the stairs and makes her way into the kitchen. A Diet Coke was on her agenda. A MUST!!
Sitting at the kitchen table, phone in one hand, beverage in the other…the doorbell rings.
She casually gets up from the table. She wasn’t expecting anyone. It was either a solicitor, a bill collector or…someone wanting to lure her from her religion to join another.
It was a bill collector. Of sorts. The landscaper.
She opens the door and greets him.
He hands her the bill. And…drooling…he says, “Wow. Your hair. Your make-up. You’re HOT!”
She fluffs her hair and says, “Thanks.” And proceeds to write a check to pay the landscaper for his mowing services.
He looks around the foyer. He notices the house was absent of noise. He questions her…”Hey…where are the kids?”
She smiles and replies “At school. Where they should be.”
His eyes meet hers. He says, with a hint of seduction…”Let’s go upstairs. And get busy.”
She looks at him.
And without ANY hesitation…
“Not in this lifetime.”
She hands him the check. Shows him the door. And shuts it behind him.
Watch out ladies…there’s a new housewife in town. And…she isn’t Desperate.
Wow, he had some nerve! Glad your not desperate!
Whoa. What balls. And, what? We don’t even get a picture of the lad who wants in your pants? lol
the planet of janet says
you go, you hawt mama!!
Anglophile Football Fanatic says
Wow. What flattery! I haven’t been hit on in ages.
Tara R. says
Wow… a little jealous over here.
dysfunctional mom says
OOOOh I’m picturing “Juan” with a goatee and a bronzed six-pack. sigh.
You had me, I thought the landscaper was your hubby until
the end…..duh! All the stuckup mommies at your school need
to read this post!
Seriously? That guy watches too much TV. I don’t doubt for a moment that you are a HAWT mama, but there is a limit!
Karen MEG (Pomtini) says
Yeah, you’re hot all right… but that’s sorta ewwww… I mean, is he your regular lawn guy?
I know, I’m such a downer.
Happy weekend, sweets 😉