I cry as I write.
Life…out of control.
How did this happen?
It pounced on me so quickly.
I am overcome.
Dark and rainy out.
It matches my mood. I hope…
this goes away soon.
I need some success.
Something positive. Something
I can be proud of.
Yeah, there are my kids.
Just isn’t my thing.
I will search my depths.
Until I can find my peace.
It is all on me.
Sorry to burden. I don’t know if it’s the time of year or if it’s just circumstances that are seemingly beyond my control but…wow…I’m depressed. And it isn’t even winter yet!!
But, it’s within me. It’s something I have to figure out. I can’t lay blame on anyone. I have to learn how to take control of different things in my life instead of letting IT control ME.
So…I’m off the psychologist. My appointment is really to discuss my youngest child…who I live in fear that he is going to have the same psychological issues that my husbands first born son has. But…I need to talk to him…the psychologist about me, too. ME ME ME!!
I don’t remember feeling this much out of control…since I was married to my ex-husband.
OK…time to breathe. Inhale, Exhale.
Now…must go shower. I did work out…I wouldn’t want to be too smelly when I’m lying on the couch complaining to the good Dr.
Grey Street says
Everyone has days like this. I know I have. I KNOW I HAVE. It’s important that you are able to recognize it and realize that it’s something you need to handle before it’s too far gone…..
I’ve seen a few counselor’s in my time and I’d go back now if my BF would go with me because I think there are a few things we both could work on.
But kudos to you for knowing, and recognizing when you need help. For some people, they never get to that point.
I hope you feel better soon!!!
I hope you feel better soon. Hugs to you. If you need to talk you know you can e-mail me, hell I’d even give you my phone #!
Tara R. says
Oh darlin’! I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. It’s good that you’re talking with the psychologist. You need to be healthy too to be any help to your kids. I hope you are feeling better soon… you have my number right? Call me if you need to vent.
the planet of janet says
good for you for recognizing where you are and for taking steps to fix it. that’s really the hardest part and you did that already!! so YAY for you.
any time you need an ear, i’m only an email or a plurk away…
I’m so glad that you have a doc to talk to about it. And I hope you are feeling better now. 🙂 Hang in there!
Maggie's Mind says
I’m always sad to hear when people are down because it just sucks. I am glad that you are going to do something, and I’m hoping it helps.
My impression of you has always been you as a strong woman, mentally, but however strong a woman is, there are days that she can break down. What’s more important is that after the “fall”, she must be able to stand up fast and I think you are strong enough to do that.
Karen MEG (Pomtini) says
I’m glad you have an appointment for yourself… shows how together you really are Mel. I hope things work out for you… this is the lot of being a Mom, I guess, the stress, the lack of control; or else the feeling of it.
Hope things go well at your appt and you feel better soon …. hugs
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins says
Wow…so sorry you’re going through a rough time! Sending e-hugs your way. ;o)
dysfunctional mom says
I wish you the best & hope you’re feeling better soon!
Hang in there..
I have a theory on this, but since I don’t want everyone to know I’m whacko, I will email you….
Anglophile Football Fanatic says
Oh, I’m so sorry, dear. I hope the psychologist helps you get grounded and find some peace. Keep your chin up. We love you.