Something struck me today as I was watching my daughter walk, burdened by a heavy backpack and her violin, to the school bus stop. I’m not sure how I can translate this feeling into words but, I will try.
Watching the her grow smaller as she walked to her destination a few houses from ours, I had an realization.
This little girl…my ONLY birth daughter…is in her last year of elementary school.
She still looks so small to me. And young…a baby.
And next year, two important firsts are going to happen.
My daughter will begin Middle School with all of her older siblings.
And my youngest will begin kindergarten.
My two “babies”.
My daughter is the baby from my first marriage. Who was supposedly going to be my last child…because of complications.
And…the baby baby.
I do realize that my children will ALWAYS be my “babies”…none of them are babies anymore.
But I think about all the time I wasted, wishing they would sleep through the night.
Wishing they would walk.
Wishing they would talk.
Basically, wishing away their babyhood…so it would get easier.
And their babyhood is gone.
And it hasn’t gotten any easier. Just different.
But, watching my daughter walk to her bus stop, weighed down with her huge back pack and her violin…I realized that I have to stop and appreciate them NOW.
Before it’s not a back pack but a suitcase.
And her walk is not to a bus stop but to her college dorm room.
That…is the realization that struck me today. As I watched my baby…walk to her bus stop.
I had that realization of wishing away their babyhood when we sent Taylor to preschool last year. It was so sad. That is why I let Callee keep her binky so long, but now we are binky free (for 2 whole days!) But only because her teeth were starting to shift:(
I had someone give me that advice before the Queen was born, so I have been trying hard not to wish away certain stages. Like pottytraining. And the screaming angry tantrums.
And I am SO not ready for her to go to school next fall.
{{hugs}} they will always be your babies, but it is still both heartbreaking and exciting to see them grow up.
ok, so now after reading this, instead of having an ok day, I have a deep pit in my stomach, I have done the same thing, wishing how fast all these milestones to happen, now I hope they NEVER come, I love the kids at the age they are, I love having to break up their fights over whose star wars guys are whose, over who is farting on someones bed, over why my youngest just got an atomic wedjie from his older brother, these ARE THE GOOD OLD DAYS!!!!!!
This is exactly why I try so hard not to tell my kids “Not now” when they just want my attention. It won’t be long before they don’t need me around at all, and it breaks my heart.
yes, darling. that is what happens. and it goes sooooo fast.
excuse me while i go sit in the corner and rock and cry and cry and rock.