I just got off the phone with a friend of mine.
Her introductory line in our conversation was…
“Can I be a bitch. I mean…can I bitch for a minute?”
How can I turn down a conversation that could lead to a bitchfest? Seriously…
Well, she had just gotten back from dropping her son off at preschool. Not the same one my son goes to but…the moms are EXACTLY the same at both. Skinny. Noses in the air. Snotballs with superiority complexes. Get over yourselves!!
Anyhoo…I digress…
Where was I? Hold on, let me re-read so I know where I left off…
OK…dropping son off.
Well, as she was dropping off her son, another Mommy Dearest was dropping off her little princess, who was wearing a precious little hat of some expensive kind or another (no…not said with even an OUNCE of jealousy…more like disgust).
The mom, ever so concerned, asked the teacher if it was OK that her little sweetcakes was wearing a tiara…er…baseball cap. The teacher said it was fine.
The MOMMY…says to the teacher, loud enough for all to hear…including all of us down the street at my son’s preschool…
If there is a problem and my beautiful, brilliant little angel has to take off her cap…NO ONE is to touch it. NO child is to wear it. NO CHILD is to lay a grubby little slime infested finger upon my sweet, cherubic, princess of a child’s hat. I am a HAIRDRESSER and I am neurotic about lice.
Um…
So…
Are you saying that, because you are a HAIRDRESSER and you are diligent about lice prevention…your daughter is ABOVE ever contracting lice and carrying those little critters to school via her ROYAL flipping, daughter of a hairdressers golden locks?
Hmmm?
I mean…you are a HAIRDRESSER. Who is to say that you aren’t going to get lice from one of the women whose hair you cut. And those little, gross things aren’t going to burrow into the root line of your hair, ride home in your Range Rover with you, and
JUMP right into your darling little girls hair?
Seriously…
School. Is back in session. Lice, strep throat, colds, hand foot mouth…you name it.
You can’t prevent it.
Unless, of course…
you live in a giant bubble. Or…
Fantasy Island.
I think…I hear da plane…da plane…
UGH We have mothers like that at J’s daycare. It’s so hard to bite my tongue at these women. It drives me crazy. The ones that pull up in their Mercedes, Land Rovers (of which I really want one), or whatever. It’s different if you don’t think your superior and drive them LOL
I just wanna knock ’em out sometimes…I really do.
I get the whole I’m better than you mom’s because they did everything natural. And that’s just at the park. A isn’t really for daycare yet
Hairdressers drive Range Rovers now? Damn. I need to get in on that.
Uggh! Uppity moms drive me crazy! If you send something to school with your kids it is fair game. Other kids SHOULD know not to use other kids stuff, but you can’t rely on other kids to have been raised properly. You take it in, you risk losing it (or risk getting headlice I suppose…) and headlice really isn’t preventable anyway.It happens. I was VERY prissy and clean as a kid and had it anyway.
sorry, i can’t respond to the real problem of bitchy, above-it-all moms because … *shudder* lice. omigod. LICE.
the roo-girl had a battle with lice in the fourth grade (five years ago). we. could. not. get. rid. of it.
until the ymca (afterschool care) CLEANED OUT THEIR CLASSROOMS TOO.
how many times did i have to ask? beg? scream?
you don’t want to know.
and you dont want to know what it is like to french braid a little girl’s hair and find things that move in it.
excuse me while i go gouge out my eyes and throw a little more bleach on my hands.
oh, and puke up my vanilla latte.
Lice is gross, but those little suckers jump. You run a risk of getting it just sitting by a child that has it, if she is so informed shouldn’t she know that? Bitchy upity moms suck! Other than that, how are you?
Holy crap! Keep the damn hat at home then! Sheesh! If you are that freaking paranoid, what is the point? Blahhhh!
OMG! What a bitch! It would serve her right if her kid did come home with lice, or better yet was the carrier that infected the entire school.
Hehe. Can you find some spare lice and purposely…i mean …accidentally get it on the mom’s sweater and hair, you think? lol
Ha ha ha…I love the way you wrote that. I find myself having to re-read my own stuff to figure out where I am. ;o)
If you don’t like lice (and who does?), DO NOT send your child in a hat that might be worn by other children. Besides anybody’s kid can have lice, the hairdresser undoubtedly knows that lice can cling to clean hair better than dirty hair. (I guess lice do not like dirty hair either.)
I am not looking forward to any of these things. The uppity parents (we have some of that in gymnastics and dance classes), the lice, the losing everything they own at school.
sigh