On occasion I come across posts that were written to the blog owners 17 year old self. I love those posts! I think they are so fabulous. And I’ve been wanting to do this type of post for awhile now. Except, I’m not going to write one to my 17 year old self. Because…that self would have NEVER listened…even to me. Warnings would have gone unheeded. Lessons…unlearned. Because I thought I knew everything. And I thought that I had all the time in the world. I didn’t realize, at 17…how wrong I truly was…about so many things. Because, I don’t think I cared. I did it MY way.
So…I would like to address my 23 year old self. A more mature me. I’d like to think that my 23 year old self would listen and understand what my almost 40 year old self has to say.
Hey. I have things to talk to you about. Sit down and shut up for a couple of minutes…you can go sit on that rock and smoke when I’m done with you.
Melissa…finish school. No shit. Finish. Get your degree. Teaching. Ultra-sound. SOMETHING. Just do it. Because…you need to. Don’t just stare and me and pretend to listen either. I’ll tell you why…
In a few months…you’re going to meet a guy. You’re going to have a little crush on him. And…you’re going to date him. You like his lifestyle. You like the idea of belonging to Franklin Hills Country Club. You like the IDEA of what your life could be like with him.
The two of you have fun together. You like to hang out. But…go with your gut. Don’t be swayed. You know it isn’t right. When you break up with him…stick to your guns. Don’t cave in. The flowers…beautiful. The ring…OMG! But…tell him NO.
Because you know…in your heart of hearts…you don’t love him. Not the way you should. And…it is going to make for a bad mix.
I’m not going to let you know about the two beautiful children that you have together. Quite frankly…what you don’t know, won’t hurt you. If you don’t marry this guy…I’m sure you’ll marry someone else and have beautiful children with him.
But…get a career. Be able to support yourself. Be able to take care of your children in the event of a divorce. Because…this almost 40 y/o you…you can’t. You. Are. A. Loser. Because…you don’t have a means to support yourself. And when you…my 23 y/o self becomes me…my almost 40 y/o self…it becomes a heartache. And WE become sort of lost. WE start looking for ourselves…something to make our own. And it’s hard.
Chose a different path. Chose the right path. You KNOW which one to take. Don’t be lazy. Just DO it!!
And…pack up the car, grab Anna…and move to California. If you don’t…you’ll wonder, for the rest of your life…what would have happened. How your life would have been different.
Please Melissa. Chose wisely. Because, the psychic was right…the blue eyed, blond haired guy…wasn’t the one.
I Love You!! And…by the way…you really are THAT beautiful. Learn it, live it and embrace it!!! That’ll help you too!!
Loved this. You have so much good advice for any 23 year old [ie., me].
I could have used this advice myself, looking back on it from now double that age.
I think you are so NOT a loser. And, you’re beautiful. I love these letters. Maybe I’ll write one to myself for my birthday. Hmmm…
Oh Melissa, this is such a good idea. I love your letter to yourself.
I wish that we actually received these letters and listened.
OMG! I love it! What a great letter! Yes, I have to admit that everything you wrote about I can relate to! OMG!
this was a great idea and very poignant. Tell nearing 40 Melissa that she’ll get through this time…
I thought of you the other day. I stood up for myself where I usually don’t. Because of one of your long-ago posts. How cryptic is that?!
I don’t know if I would write this letter to myself.
We all make choices, not always the best ones.
Some people just make it look like thier lives are
perfect. Most people are so much more than what
they are valued for. (read that last sentence over
that’s my lesson for today! xxxooo)
Anyway I think my young teen could use a
dose of reality like this to show her how decisions
made today will make her life so different in the
future. I can only hope she listens……….♥
I see these all the time too and always think I want to do one. I’m going to. Soon! Yours was wonderful with a lot of sound advice.
the planet of janet says
if only we could make our younger selves listen to our learned-from-experience older selves.
how different my life would be.
on the other hand, would i give up the good place that i am now for less heartache all those years ago?
hmmm. the song i always quote is by rascall flatts: “god bless the broken road that led me straight to you…”
Lori B says
i packed up and moved to california! and guess what?!?!?! i ended up back in michigan.
dysfunctional mom says
You are SO not a loser. But I identify with everything else in your post.
great letter Melissa….I always tell my daughter the same thing…go to school and get a career, something where you can support yourself and your family if the need arises. This is something that I have and I am so grateful for….God forbid…if Dave died tomorrow, financially our lives would not change…I would just have to work more days than I do now. A few years ago one of my friend’s husbands died and she was a SAHM with no training or job skills….it has been very hard on them. I always use them as an example to Cass.
Remember Melissa…it is never too late to go to school!!!