After jazz class, my friend and I usually head over to 7-11 for a Crystal Light Slurpee. Loves me those slurpees! BTW…Cherry Limeade Crystal Light…um…ORGASMIC!
We pull into the parking lot and see another chick that we both know. My friend knows her through her kids. I know her because her husband is good friends with my husband. Personally…I don’t like her. I think she is, well…dag nasty. Serious EWWWW factor. You turn to stone the instant you look at her.
Aside from that…I don’t like her personality much either. She is the type of person that…everything you do, NOT GOOD. Everything she does…the BEST. In her own opinion. And…she’ll let you know, too. She flipping turned her nose up at us for taking dance class. I say, sit and spin butt munch, sit. and. spin.
Also, she is a MAJOR pot smoker. All day long. Smoke pot. Roll and choke. When she isn’t smoking pot…she’s smoking cigarettes.
She’s been doing that FOREVER. But, who am I to judge. Considering…I’m waaaaay better than she is.
So…I was filling up my medium sized Slurpee cup with my poison of choice. Cherry Limeade…oh, my mouth…it’s watering.
She…comes up to me and asks me what flavor I’m getting. And without looking at her, I tell her. I wouldn’t want to turn to stone without enjoying my slurpee first. Then, I take a sip…and have to mask the massive orgasm that hits me (just kidding but…love Cherry Limeade!)
You know what she says to me? She says…hold on…have to crack up again first…ahem…
“Oh, I don’t drink the Crystal Light ones. I don’t like to put those chemicals into my body.”
It was all I could do from laughing in her face…and I tried really hard to keep the snot from flying out my nose…
No…the only chemicals she likes to put into her body…her temple…are the chemicals in the marijuana and tobacco. Sure…I don’t blame her. That’s a much, much healthier lifestyle. My bad!
That’s not the title in my reader but I LOVE IT!
GREAT story! I probably would have spewed my chemical Crystal Light all over her ass face.
the planet of janet says
perhaps a snot shower would have been an improvement for her…..
Grey Street says
Yeah- potheads are retarded. RE-TAR-DED. Or “tar-tars” as I like to refer to them.
Funny story though! I also love slurpees! YUM!! You’re making me want one now!! DANG!
Pink Lemonade Liz says
She’s killed off all her brain cells – that’s the only explanation!!
Also wondering if she thinks there are any less “chemicals” in a regular slurpee?? WHO CARES??… they’re too yummy – I get the kids and I one at least once a week!
dysfunctional mom says
I wish you would’ve spit slurpee all in her face. On *accident*. WOOPS!
Wow, I guess marijuana does kill brain cells. Just wow!
Holy Cow! Are you kidding me? I have to say, Sweets, you are a better woman than me! 😉 Now I have to find out if this country town I live in offers these ORGASMS-IN-A-CUP you speak of!
The wedding went fine, if you overlook the fact that I was scrubbing toilets 30 minutes before I was supposed to walk down the isle. I’m just glad to feel all ‘nested’ and ready to hit the ground running again.
It was good to hear from you!!!!
Love you , just love you! You’re awesome!!
You’re better than I am. I definitely would have made a snarky comment about the cigarettes at least. sheesh.
Yippee, (dance), (dance) you just put the smile I needed on
my face. Wohooo
SCORECARD: YOU – 100 HER – Blunthead less than O
Love it! 🙂 :0 🙂
OH GO CONFIGURE. Dontcha just love hyprocrites? Me neither!
Tara R. says
Maybe if you had shot slurpee snot out ya nose at her, she might have melted. Wicked witches tend to do that when they get wet… just a thought.
See where restraint gets you? How much joy would reporting a “slurpee snot shower” have brought you? Next time, don’t hold back, she sounds like she needs a wake up. Seize the day, girl, share the chemicals!